Friday, March 29, 2013

White Flares

I pulled out my flares recently and have worn them a few times and fallen in love with them again. I am SO digging the 1970s laid back summer vibe. When I came across some WHITE flares online last week, I decided I needed some of those in my life. Ch-ch-check it owwwwt:




SOOO summer of 1982 that it hurts. That mid-century modern in the background ain't too shabby either.


Yes! Yes! HELL Yes!



If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars) well I would buy these Burberry flares (I would buy these Burberry flares) - please tell me SOMEONE out there gets the Bare Naked Ladies reference.
BNL - HOLLAAAA!! 

All white + kickass shoes? Ummmm, OKAY.



The fabulous Tiffany Wendel with some chambray and turquoise and an arm party extraordinaire.

Have a flareriffic weekend, ya'll!!

Merci, 
Shan

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Great Horn Spoon!


Holy schnikes, I read the funniest article thanks to Girls of a Certain Age.  It's ten old-fashioned swears that we NEED to bring back. I am the first to admit I have a potty mouth. It is the HARDEST habit to break. Tee hee....I said HARDEST. 


Methinks I might actually have a chance to break that habit if I start applying the helpful old-fashioned swears the article suggests (and even MORE if you read through the comments). Please do yourself a flavor and read the article - it's soooo funny. Here they are, as well as a few others. Let's take this movement to the streets, people.


1. Bejabbers!!

2. Consarn!


3. Dad-Sizzle (as in, "Dad-Sizzle it!")

4. Thunderation!




5. Great Horn Spoon!

6. 'Snails!

7. Gosh-All-Potomac!

8. G. Rover Cripes!

9. By St. Booger and all the Saints at the Backside Door of Purgatory!???!!!

10. By the Double-Barrelled Jumpin Jiminetty!



And here are a few of my submissions for your consideration:

11. In the Name of Zeus's BUTTHOLE! (or The Nicolas Cage)

12. GREAT ODON'S RAVEN!! (The Will Ferrell)


...and The Scooby Doo's:

13. Jinkies!

14. ZOINKS!!

15. Jeepers, Fred!

and the random...

16. HORNSWAGGLE!

Puh-leeeeze, peeps - jump on the bandwagon and share your own personal favorite "non-swear swears." I need all the material I can get!

Linking up here.

Sweater: TJ Maxx
Shirt: F21
Pants, Boots: zara
Fur Stole: Estate sale
Necklace: Jennifer Zeuner
Earrings: Standard Style Boutique

Merci,
Shan

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

The REAL Real Housewives


Here I am in my big fat fake fur last week (when I took these) because we got ANOTHER damn 10 inches of snow.


The good thing is that tomorrow is supposed to be a balmy 50 degrees, so hopefully the giant fucking mound of snow at the end of my driveway AGAIN will melt. The driveway that I spent THREE HOURS shoveling over the weekend? Yeah, that one. And why did I shovel it by my damn self? A) Because Tom REFUSES to shovel, B) Because Tom was out of town all weekend which means I was snowbound and stir crazy with my kids for 5 days, or C) All of the Above. If you chose C - YOU WIN. You can pick up your new Chrysler Cordova in front of the mess hall today.


You know who probably NEVER has to worry about shoveling 10 inches of snow? The Real Housewives. Of ANY city.


Nope, they just shovel OTHER stuff (like a bad shoe line, tacky extension, 15 pounds of makeup, and all the Mrs. Roper caftans they can carry). HEY-OHHHHHH!!! I say this like I am not GLUED to the TV for every episode (well, except for Atlanta, Miami and New Jersey). But back to my original point, the amount of bullshit that is shoveled in that show is INTHANE in the membrane - Kyle Richards, I'm looking at you.


Still, I love it. I hate it. I can't wait for Orange County to start, even though just the commercials of Vicky bellowing WAHOOOOOOOO wear. me. out. Seriously, lady, how old are you? Enough with the junior high shenanigans. Awww, who am I kidding? If they didn't have THOSE, I wouldn't watch.

Vest: Rachel Zoe for QVC
Shirt: JC Penney
Jeans: Zara
Boots: Thrifted
Short necklace: TJ Maxx
Long Necklace and Rings: F21
Belt: ????
Earrings: Laguna Street Vendor

Merci,
Shan

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Cock-a-toooo


I don't know what's going on with my head in some of these photos - it's like it's just. tooooo. heavy. to hold up properly.


I blame my glasses.


What? Contacts don't weigh your head down like glasses do.


See? It's damn near about to fall off. 


Here's to hoping you keep YOUR head on straighter than I did today. 

Shirt: F21
Pants/Boots: Zara
Necklace: Gift
Bracelet: Target

Merci,
Shan


Monday, March 25, 2013

15 Books


I was reading through my Facebook feed to see if there was anything I needed to share with ya'll, and came across an ollllld note that I wrote back in 2009. Called 15 books, you're supposed to list 15 books that you've read that stick with you, in no particular order. So here goes. 


1. Charlie & The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl
2. James & The Giant Peach, Roald Dahl (just finished reading this one to my kiddos)
3. A Little Princess, Frances Hodgsen Burnett


4. The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald
5. Catcher In the Rye, J.D. Salinger
6. The Garden of Eden, Ernest Hemingway


7. Mapplethorpe, A Biography: Patricia Morrisroe
8. Just Kids, Patti Smith
9.  Running With Scissors, Augusten Burroughs


10. The Lovely Bones, Alice Sebold
11. The Other Boleyn Girl, Phillippa Gregory
12. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, Stieg Larsson
13. Lamb, Christopher Moore
14. Chocolat, Joann Harris
15. Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret, Judy Blume

Feel free to share your own lists too. I'm always up for some new reading material. Happy Monday, yo.

Linked up herehere and here.

Jacket: Steve Madden, TJ Maxx
Tee: H&M hand me down
Pants: Zara
Boots: Target
Agate slice necklace: Urban Outfitters
Short necklace: TJ Maxx

Merci,
Shan

Friday, March 22, 2013

The White (and Black) Stripes

I keep seeing big, bold, white and black stripes for spring, and they are making me happier than a duck on a junebug. Don't believe that they are TOTALLY cute? Check them with your own damn peepers, then:


Source: zara.com via Shannan on Pinterest


Dress from Zara - Something about this is reminiscent of Louis Vuitton's Spring 2013 checkerboard dress, which I LOVED, so guess what? I love this one too.




Topshop Striped Jeans - so WHAT if they look a little too "Ringmaster at the Big Top." I still love em.


Source: us.asos.com via Shannan on Pinterest
Source: us.asos.com via Shannan on Pinterest


ASOS Midi striped skirt. Midi skirts don't look great on me - I feel like my skirts should either be longer or shorter, but I can't deny, this one is STILL adorable.

Source: adidas.com via Shannan on Pinterest


This Adidas striped windbreaker will be mine. Oh yes, it WILL be mine. Thanks Ain't No Mom Jeans, for enabling my habit.

What are YOU jonesing for this spring? Share. This is a safe place.

Merci!
Shan

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

AstigmaWHAT?

Guess who's wearing their stupid glasses again?


I hate wearing glasses SO HARD, and as someone who has terrible eyesight, and has worn glasses since the 5th grade, the whole idea of wearing fake glasses just to wear them is, in my opinion, UTTERLY RIDICULOUS. 


Believe me, if I could get rid of them, I would. Sadly, I am not a candidate for Lasik because my corneas are too thin. BLARGH. I don't know if what I'm dealing with right now is allergies (methinks it is), but they feel CONSTANTLY like there is sand in them. Hence the wearing of the glasses (and the non-wearing of the contacts). 


Here's hoping the doc figures it out so I can go back to wearing my contacts again without looking like I have spent the past several days smoking weed and subsisting on Bugles, Ding Dongs, Corn Nuts, Slim Jims, and Mountain Dew.


Cuz guess what? Not only am I not a candidate for Lasik, I have to wear gas permeable contacts. My stupid astigmatism is too severe to wear soft contacts. Sheesh - I betcha didn't think you were coming to my blog today for a whine-fest about my eyeballs, did you? 


That's how I roll. There's no fancy schmancy blog-sponsorship celebrations here at MBB, folks. No champagne and confetti-filled soirees with Louboutins and Louis Vuitton. Nope. I like to keep it real with dry, tired eyes, astigmatism, and the occasional poop story. YOU'RE WELCOME.

Sweater/pants: JC Penny - did I mention each one was FOUR DOLLAH. See? NOT fancy.
Shoes: Kohl's
Long Necklace/Bracelet: F21
Belt as Bracelet: Target
Short Necklace: TJ Maxx
Earrings: Laguna street vendor

Merci,
Shan

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Stuff That Happened


Stuff I learned over the weekend:

1. Tequila in a chocolate milkshake is DELICIOUS. 
2. I should have super-sized it.


I was leaving to get my hurr did on Saturday (AFTER these shaggy-ass pics were taken), and Gavin gave me a big hug goodbye and said, "You're so cute! You're so gorgeous! You're so peanut butter!" I love that kid. And as a friend on Facebook pointed out, that is the highest compliment, because there is nothing better than peanut butter.


I ate Cap'n Crunch for the first time in about 30 years. Yup. STILL delish.


Why do all of the things that happened in this post involve food in some way?


Linking up here.

Faux fur vest: Rachel Zoe for QVC
Blouse: Newport News, AGES ago
Jeans: F21
Boots: Target
Necklace: Jennifer Zeuner
Earrings: Street vendor in Laguna Beach

Merci,
Shan

Monday, March 18, 2013

1979 Called...

....and wants its groove back. And guess who has it? 


THIS GUY.




A few weeks ago I was on one of my favorite blogs, Girls of a Certain Age, and saw this baby:




and I was all - Hellllloooo, seventh grade! and I TOTALLY bought one at Target. Granted, it wasn't the big ole fat Lip Smacker like I picked up at JC Penney back in the day (though they had those too). I took off the cap and just smelled and smelled, and damn if I wasn't back at the B&D Roller Rink listening to Billy Squire, eating a Laffy Taffy and drinking a suicide (hollaaaa to my homegirl Whitley, who ALSO drank her a few suicides in her day).

I also had THIS version of a smacker:



what can I say? I was a bit of a Soda-Smacker Connoisseur. 

And I also picked up this tee:




Which is reminiscent of one of the BEST displays of 70s high school life in cinema - Dazed and Confused, when Parker Posey was the bitchiest of mean girls - the Queen of Mean:



and when Matthew McConaughey looked like this:


I LOVE this tee. Granted, it is not quite as groovy as the red satin sweatshirt with hood, drawstring and kangaroo pocket I wore back in the day, but it'll do. I GUESS.

And THEN? I'm not gonna lie - I got my groove ON.



I really didn't have any other choice.



That's how you roll when you're the Mayor of Funkytown.

Linking up herehere, here, and here.

EDIT: The gorgeous Zahra from Love Zahra has featured lil ole me today with an interview while she is in Hawaii. Ch-ch-check it out (and try not to be jealous if, like me, you're sitting in an office that is 59 frigging degrees this morning - what da HAIL, ancient office building????).






Tee, Belt (as bracelet): Target
Jeans: Gap
Shoes: Jessica Simpson
Earrings: Laguna Beach street vendor
Necklace: TJ Maxx

Merci,


Shan

Thursday, March 14, 2013

I Have FLARE.

Don't adjust your sets. It is I, Shannan, NOT wearing skinny jeans. I pulled these flares out at the end of the week last week, and you know what? I wore this exact same outfit TWO DAYS IN A ROW.


Call the fashion police. Call the Tide detergent bus. I don't care. I loved it that much. 


And you know what else? Imma wear em again tomorrow. Oh no I din't. OH YES I AM.


The only problem is that when I got these bad boys, I had them hemmed to go with a specific pair of shoes (my Jessica Simpson Dany's, those of the 5-inch platform), so there's not much else I can wear with them. Don't get me wrong, I love them with those shoes, but sometimes I'd like something with a heel just a little lower so I can chase my kids in them.


But here's a question - what the hell else kind of shoe looks good with flares? For surrious? Gimme your thoughts. I need to do a pinterest search and see what all the other kids are wearing with THEIR flares. 


Methinks I need to look for a wedge that isn't quite so high. Target has some cute ones right now. I think I just answered my own question. Thank you, me. You're QUITE welcome. 


Tee: Target
Long Cardi: Marshall's
Jeans: Gap
Shoes: Jessica Simpson
Necklace: Standard Style Boutique
Earrings, Rings: F21
Bracelet: Target

Merci,
Shan