The monster in my head kept me up last night. You know the one. It tells you you're not quite good enough. My monster usually talks about my parenting skills. My monster looks like one of those girls who, when they meet you for the first time, do so with a posture. You know the one. Arms crossed, looking down their nose at you, giving you the look of barely disguised disgust as their eyes travel from your head to your feet and back again.
That's what my monster looks like. And she says things like - "You didn't read to the kids ONCE in the past few days???" and my voice answers quietly, "But I went through site words with them several times."
My monster says, "Couldn't you have done some craft with the kids?" and my voice answers quietly, "But I took them to the new park, and when we got home, jumped on the trampoline with them."
My monster says, "Pffft. Not to mention, you have not been to the gym to work out in TWO WEEKS," and I say, "But Tom has been traveling off and on for two weeks, it's not as easy to get there."
"Yes," my monster answers, "But you could have worked out AT HOME."
My monster says, "And really, did you have to go COMPLETELY off the rails when two of the kids cut their hair this weekend?"
"In my defense," my voice answers, "I DID pull myself together pretty quickly for me, and I apologized to them and explained rationally why they can't put scissors to their hair or clothing. And I hugged them and told them I loved them no matter what they ever did, and I always would."
My monster went on and on and one, but thankfully, I was finally able to go back to sleep at 4:30, and get one more hour in before the alarm went off.
Hopefully my monster will be taking the night off tonight. Just once. And if not, I'll sick this guy on him:
Pants: TJ Maxx