Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Better Than the DMV? IMPOSSIBLE!!!

I spent Monday doing my civic duty. Jury duty, that is, with 238 compliant fellow citizens, and 1 very disgruntled, possibly drunk, DEFINITELY unruly, and maybe crazy one.


During the course of the morning, these are all things I heard her mutter, utter, or shout at one time or another:


1. Dumb b!tch (to the jury supervisor when she politely answered a question about parking).

2. Oh - they are liars! The told me I had to talk to one judge, then they tell me I have to talk to another, and then three, and then four, five, six!!! (this is because she was wanting to postpone her jury service for a third time).


3. I'm either going to end up in jail or in the psyche ward (to another juror who was unfortunate enough to be sitting next to her).

4. KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF ME! They're shoving me into the wall! (this was from the hallway, so I'm not sure what exactly was taking place, but I'm assuming it was from security who was trying to quiet her down).


5. If he touches me again, I'm going to grab his gun. (about the same security guard who was trying to quiet her down)


6. What are YA'LL lookin at??? (to the myriad of people who were watching her repeated outbursts).

and finally, my favorite:

7. Ya'll are just doing this because I'm DRUNK.

...annnnnd SCENE!!

Jacket: NY&Co
Tee: H&M
Pants: Target
Shoes: Nike
Necklace: House of Harlow

Merci,
Shan

2 comments:

Suzanne Carillo Style Files said...

Lovely! Who would want her on their jury?

bisous
Suzanne

MerciBlahBlah said...

My question was who WOULDN'T want her on their jury?!! She was a peach. A vodka-soaked peach.