Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Stuff We Do In Private

And now I bring to you another episode of "Stuff We Do In Private." And by "Stuff We Do In Private," I mean, "An IM Chat I had yesterday with Amy." Enjoy.

(Why do I look like I want to kick someone's ass in this photo?)

Amy:  My flight delayed close to an hour as they took our plane out of service for a maintenance issue. i'm totally okay with this. : )
me:  blargh. where are you flying today?
Amy:  newark
me:  New JOYsey?
Amy:  newwwww joysey.
me:  I hope you did your hurr big today for the occasion.
Amy:  and when don't i???
me:  true story. Silly me.
wow - you are FANCY.
and I am STARVING.

Amy:  i am, too. imma bout to go get some airport food. at least there is a wolfgang puck airport thingie right here.
me:  immabout to heat up my soup, which is NOT going to fill me up.
Amy:  could be worse. some airports have turtle choices
not turtle
me:  I'm all first day of my lady cycle right now, so I. Am. HONGRY. sumbitch.
I LOVE turtle choices.
Amy:  oooooo, that is no joke hunger right there.
i choose zero turtles.
me:  why?
chocolate, caramel and nuts is GOOD.

(I look only slightly less pissed in this photo. And like I'm trying to fart.)
Amy:  you need to make that pork we made this weekend. nummers.
oh, those kind, yes, please.
me:  I would like to, IF I HAD THE RECIPE.
Amy:  pbi put the whole freaking thing in the comments on Facebook.
uh, durrrr.
me:  oh. durrrr indeed.
Amy:  dork could have just posted the link.
me:  doy doy doy derp derp derp. NO DUH, PBI.
Amy:  hello...1999 called and wants its longhand back.
me:  does he take dictation as well? and churn his own butter?
Amy:  He darns a mean sock.
me:  I hope that's on his resume.
Amy:  In bold comic sans. It's classy.

 me:  see? This. THIS conversation is just one reason I love you.
me:  THANK YOU, helpful link.
Amy:  What are allllll the rest? Go!
me:  your hatred of feet makes me happy.
your hurr. duh.
your love of the shopping.
you pretty damn funny.
you're USUALLY nice.
Amy:  i love how deep these all are.
me:  I try not to go too deep.
(that's what he said).
Amy:  he never said that.
me:  your GIVING spirit.
your love of mayonnaise.
me:  sperm of Satan.
Amy:  demon semen
me:  there, I said it for you. You DO know this is all going into the blog, right?

Amy:  Oklahoma. Oklahoma. There, I said it twice.
me:  I have been phoning it in lately.
why for did you say it twice?
OCD much?
Amy:  Well thankfully we got my giving spirit in there. I'd hate for MBBers to think I'm all hair and foot hatred. I mean I mostly am, but still.
It's an old joke. I thought you might know it.
me:  and gassy. let's not forget how gassy you are.
I DON'T know it - care to share?
Amy:  Projecting. Someone is projecting their gas on me.

Anthony Clark. One of Anthony Clark's best bits is the one where he talks about the meeting to come up with Oklahoma's state slogan. 'Oklahoma is OK!' is what won, but I think the best suggestion was 'Oklahoma, Oklahoma, there I said it twice.'
(Those are the internet's words I copy and pasted. Thanks, champagne!)

Okee. I am going to go grab a salad. You know, so I can have lettuce cramps on the plane. Thanks for playing. xoxoxoxo
me:  Okay - a) I would NEVER project my gas on you. And by NEVER I mean I would ALWAYS project my gas on you. and b) who is Anthony Clark? I need to go google.
Have a nice salad and cramps afterwards.

....annnnnnd SCENE.

Linked here.

Jacket: NY & Co
Tee/Shoes: Target
Jeans: Zara
Long necklace/Bracelets: F21
Short necklace: TJ Maxx



Natasha said...

I love privates! Uh, I mean....