I feel like I look a bit like a Real Housewife in this getup, with my bling and (fake) leather and bad weave. Okay, I'm not REALLY wearing a weave, but those fried out ends look like the O.C. Special. Thank HEBBINS I have a hurr appointment tomorrow.
Here's a question for ya: WHY does Andy Cohen ALWAYS try to turn one of the Housewives into a singer? Seriously. If it's not Countess Luann, or Kim Zolciaaaaakkkk#$%#%$#, it's Gretchen Boo-tay.
SOME people (aka Amy Bo Bamy), disagree, howevah, as evidenced by our email exchange yesterday...
Amy: I don't care WHAT you say, Shannan. Gretchen Rossi has the voice of an angel. An angel, I tell you. And, the lips of a swollen vag. But, I guess you can't have it all.
Shan: You're my forever love, Slade Smiley.
Amy: I can't with that name.
Shan: And what is UP with the spackle that she puts on her face? All of them, for that matter? It drives me NUTS. I mean, I realize they have to wear more makeup for television, but do they REALLY need to look like drag queens? Blargh.
Amy: They literally look like street artist caricatures of themselves. It's very alarming.
ALARMING indeed. As I stand here in flaming red lips. But STILL I'm wearing about 9.75 pounds less makeup than the average Housewife. And you know who else I CAN'T with? Vicky Gunnvalson. And even more so? Her disgusting creep of a boyfriend Brooks. I have never seen someone who is completely fluent in cliche until Brooks slithered into the O.C. I have a visceral reaction every time I see him...YUCK. It is the opposite reaction I have whenever I see Heather's husband Terry, who I personally believe may be the best House Husband since Don Gunnvalson.
Oh no I din't. Oh yes, I did. I went there, Miz SGM, if you're reading this....
Linked here and here.
Pants: TJ Maxx
Necklace: Charming Charlie's