Wednesday, July 31, 2013

All The Way

Can I just tell you how frigging DEPRESSED I am now that I'm finished listening to Life, which has apparently become My Favorite Book Ever? D-E-P-R-E-Double S-E-D. That's how. Seriously. Like, I have a bad case of The Sads. 

First, Imma just say that to THIS GUY, narration is EVERYTHING in an audiobook. If the narrator doesn't hook me right off the bat, I turn it off. And Life had three narrators: Johnny Depp, Joe Hurley, and Keef himself, who closes out the last few chapters. 

I will say, howevah, that it was a bit disconcerting when the narrators would change from one to another, and I didn't really like that in the beginning, when Johnny Depp was reading, he was doing it as Keith (or the other people he was reading about), with proper dialect and accents, and then later in the book, when the narration transitioned from Joe Hurley back to Johnny Depp, he read it in his own voice. I just wondered why he didn't continue the way he began. Of course, hearing Keith tell his story in his own gravelly voice was the best of all.

I truly gained a lot of respect for him. His love of music, and the process he and Mick went through to write is inspiring, and I loved to hear that he is also a voracious reader. Hear me now and believe me later when I tell you that I had plenty of pre-conceived notions about Keef before I found this book, and none of them included him being a voracious reader.

I have no doubt I sound like a very stalkery, wacky fan, but that is just what I became. Thank hebbins for me there are countless hours of Rolling Stones videos out there on the interwebs. I also intend to hunt down some more biographies of Keith (THIS one is at the top of my list) and Mick as well.... I'd love to hear the "other" side of their story. 

Ya'll are just going to have to bear with me, cuz I'm sure I will be extolling the virtues of Life for a while now. As far as biographies/autobiographies go, for me, Life surpassed Patti Smith's Just Kids and Patricia Morrisroe's Mapplethorpe: A Biography. Don't get me wrong - those were both amazing books; I would have gone to third base with them both, but I would go ALLLLL the way with Life.

Linked here and  here.

Shirt: TJ Maxx
Pants: JC Penney
Shoes: Zara
Necklace: Vintage, eBay
Belt as Bracelet: Target


Tuesday, July 30, 2013


Just random stuff happening in and around Casa De Blah Blah. 

Went to the movies with Tom this weekend, and am happy to report that we did NOT have to see another superhero movie, thank the hebbins. We saw The Way, Way Back with Steve Carell, Toni Colette, Maya Rudolph and Sam Rockwell (my new boyfriend, BTW). It was the BEST summer movie I have ever seen. Bittersweet and heartbreaking and funny. It made me realize what a great actor Steve Carell really is, because I couldn't STAND him in the movie. And not in the Michael Scott way, but in the - man he is REALLY a D-bag way. HIGHLY recommend it if you haven't seen it yet.

I think we're going to have to send one or all of the kids to art school. Look, I try to encourage my kids as much as possible when it comes to art. I love that they want to draw. It's like Picasso's Blue Period all up in here. Except with Minions from Despicable Me. I wonder if Picasso's mother had to pull down 537 drawings taped up and down her bannister and closet doors and walls and fireplace surround every night too?

Visited my favorite local coffee shop yesterday (HOLLA Whistle Stop!), and there was a little girl, about 2 years old, saying HI! and waving to every person who came in the door. When I left, she said BYE! and waved again. She was like a teeeeny tiny Wal Mart greeter. I don't know...if I were her parents I'd get her in on the ground floor. She was a natural.

I am SCARILY close to the end of Keef's autobiography. Yes, I'm STILL listening to it - I TODE you it was long. #callmekeef...Imissyou...

Anyone ever have a kid allergic to peaches? Last night Simon and Gavin both grabbed a peach off the counter and ate it, and within minutes both were sneezing and rubbing their eyes, and Simon's were swollen and red, poor guy. I guess it's only normal that they're allergic to the same thing. I mean, they're on the same poop schedule (i.e. AT DINNERTIME EVERY SINGLE DAY), they may as well have identical allergies too. 

Linked here and here.

Tee: Target
Skirt: JC Penney
Shoes: Target
Necklace: Urban Outfitters
Bracelets: F21


Monday, July 29, 2013


I have so much on my mind lately where my kids are concerned. They start kindergarten in 3 weeks. Three. Weeks. I don't know where the past 5 years have gone. How do I protect them once they are no longer in my care for 8 hours a day? How do I ensure that they can take care of themselves? How do I make sure no one else harms them, mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally? 

Lately, a girl in the neighborhood has started showing up on our doorstep to play with "the little kids." I have never heard her call them by their names. I don't know if she even KNOWS their names. Chloe is 6 years old, and rides her bike throughout the neighborhood by herself (without a helmet), all the time. Her house is on the edge of a busy street. My first experience with her was about a month ago, when she showed up at another neighbor's house, who invited those of us in the cul de sac over to make s'mores in the firepit in her driveway. Chloe was there, riding her bike and running around the yard with all the other kids, who are great, sweet kids. The next thing I knew, Scarlett came running to me, crying because Chloe had pushed her down. Even though she is  just a year older than my kids, she easily looks 2 or 3 years older - she's a big kid. So. My first impression is of a big kid who pushed my kid down and hurt her. Since I didn't see her do it, I didn't say anything; just watched her. She was running, shoving other kids as she ran. Still I didn't say anything.

I didn't see her again after that night until this week, when she showed up at my door wanting to play, then basically pushed her way in. The kids went into the backyard and jumped on the trampoline. Chloe is clearly used to having her way, and when I asked if she had brothers or sisters, she said no. Okay. No siblings, and clearly no parents who care enough to stop her from going into someone's home they don't know. At that time, I wouldn't have known her parents if they showed up on my doorstep. Which they haven't.

Chloe showed up the next day - night really - at 8 p.m., when we were getting the kids ready for bed. Wanted to play. We told her it was too late. She argued. We sent her home. She showed up earlier the next day and wanted to play again. Asked if the kids could come to her house. I said no. She persisted, so I said, "No - I don't know your parents, and they're not playing at your house until I meet them." She replied, "My mom's name is Katie." "Okay - I replied - I know her name, but I don't know her, and they are not coming over." I have to admit, I googled her mom, and found her in a court system website in Missouri where she had apparently in the past refused a breathalyzer test. My kids DEFINITELY weren't going to her house. 

I am so conflicted about Chloe. I truly feel bad because she doesn't appear to have an adult who is looking out for her well-being. On the other side, I had an immediate dislike of her because of my first impression, coupled with the fact that she is so totally bossy around my kids. Still. I am searching for compassion, because I know she will show up again on my doorstep. I can be that adult who possibly sets a good example for her, or I can write her off and refuse to let my kids play with her. At this point, I am willing to give her another chance. 

Tom and I talked this weekend about it. He feels the same way I do. I know I have to figure out a way to deal with this, because in 3 weeks, a good part of my control over who my kids choose as their friends is officially out of my hands. I have to resolve that we are teaching them as best we can to be kind, to be compassionate, but to be wary and take care of THEMSELVES too.

Yesterday, I got up early and ran down to the lake. I sat at the beach and meditated, watching the mist roll across the water. I breathed in, and with each exhale, mentally tried to blow those worries in my mind across the lake with the mist. 

I know there are no assurances in life, but what I do know is that I can choose to spend my time worrying about what MIGHT be, or hold my kids close now. I can breathe them in and cover them with kisses and make sure they know I love them. I can try to let the small things go and live in this moment, because the one assurance I do have is that this moment, this precious moment, is fleeting. 


Tunic: Old Navy
Jeans: Gap
Shoes: Jessica Simpson
Necklace: TJ Maxx


Friday, July 26, 2013

Random (p)Inspirations

Here are my favey crocketts of the week, kids. Enjoy:

Do you need this in your life as much as I do? Then get thee hence to trixiedelicious on etsy and TREAT YOSELF.

Yes, I'm still obsessed.

Frankly, I don't know what I'm going to do when my book is finished. I'm pretty sure the one I have waiting in the wings on Scientology isn't going to be quite as good. Or maybe it will. Who knows. I just can't commit to Scientology like I could to Keef.

 I'm sorry, but that tee kills me dead.

Favorite look in blogland this week. Badass yet femme at the same time. 

Bigass farm table with mid-century rattan chairs and surf artwork? I can get on board with that.

Gallery wall perfection and a dad on a tiny bike? What more could you ask?


Have a great weekend, yo!


Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Real WHAT of the WHERE?

I feel like I look a bit like a Real Housewife in this getup, with my bling and (fake) leather and bad weave. Okay, I'm not REALLY wearing a weave, but those fried out ends look like the O.C. Special. Thank HEBBINS I have a hurr appointment tomorrow.

Here's a question for ya: WHY does Andy Cohen ALWAYS try to turn one of the Housewives into a singer? Seriously. If it's not Countess Luann, or Kim Zolciaaaaakkkk#$%#%$#, it's Gretchen Boo-tay.

SOME people (aka Amy Bo Bamy), disagree, howevah, as evidenced by our email exchange yesterday...

Amy: I don't care WHAT you say, Shannan. Gretchen Rossi has the voice of an angel. An angel, I tell you. And, the lips of a swollen vag. But, I guess you can't have it all. 

Shan: You're my forever love, Slade Smiley.

Amy: I can't with that name.

Shan: And what is UP with the spackle that she puts on her face? All of them, for that matter? It drives me NUTS. I mean, I realize they have to wear more makeup for television, but do they REALLY need to look like drag queens? Blargh.

Amy: They literally look like street artist caricatures of themselves. It's very alarming.

ALARMING indeed. As I stand here in flaming red lips. But STILL I'm wearing about 9.75 pounds less makeup than the average Housewife. And you know who else I CAN'T with? Vicky Gunnvalson. And even more so? Her disgusting creep of a boyfriend Brooks. I have never seen someone who is completely fluent in cliche until Brooks slithered into the O.C. I have a visceral reaction every time I see him...YUCK. It is the opposite reaction I have whenever I see Heather's husband Terry, who I personally believe may be the best House Husband since Don Gunnvalson. 

Oh no I din't. Oh yes, I did. I went there, Miz SGM, if you're reading this....

Linked here and here.

Top/Shoes: Target
Pants: TJ Maxx
Necklace: Charming Charlie's


Monday, July 22, 2013

How I Spent My Sunday

In four words: trying to kill myself. 

Okay - that may be a BIT of an exaggeration, but it sure felt like it. I have been debating signing up to participate in the Tough Mudder race/obstacle course. If you're not familiar, Tough Mudder is, according to their website, "...a hardcore 10 - 12 mile obstacle course designed by British Special Forces to test your all around strength, stamina, mental grit, and camaraderie." 

A group of friends at the gym have entered as a team, and have begun training twice a week - on Fridays, they focus more on running, and on every other Sunday, they do less running, with resistance training thrown in. It just so happens I have not been able to train with them until this week. When one of the trainers at my gym announced a Tough Mudder Boot Camp class on Sunday, I said sure, why not...

Late Saturday night, I WOKE UP IN THE NIGHT completely anxious about Sunday's class, and had butterflies in my stomach all day long.

Look - I'm in pretty good shape - probably better now than I have been in a long time, and almost on par with where I was before I got pregnant, though a few pounds heavier. But my hesitation surrounding Tough Mudder and the Boot Camp class is in the running. A runner I am NOT.

Running is not enjoyable to me, and it requires a completely different kind of endurance than what I utilize when I'm in a kickboxing class. When I got to the Boot Camp class Sunday, the instructor had it broken up into small segments of H.I.I.T. type training, and in between each thing we did, we ran a lap around the track. BLARGH.

About 20 minutes into the class, I got to the "I think I'm going to vom if I have to run again" point. Not. Fun. With each lap, I was falling further and further behind the rest of the class, but I finished, dammit.

The Tough Mudder isn't until September, so IF I can get some more practice running in between now and then, I still may sign up for it, but if I don't, I'm not going to worry about it. We'll see how it goes - have any of you done Tough Mudder or Warrior Dash or anything similar? I'd love to hear about your experience! Share - this is a safe place.

Linked here, here and here.

Tee: Target
Pants: JCPenney
Necklace: Vintage, eBay
Shoes: Jessica Simpson
Belt as Bracelet: Target


Friday, July 19, 2013

Shake Your Tailfeather (All Night Long)

Final Day of the Used Clothing Challenge thrown down by ThredUp. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but TOOT TOOT - I think I picked that challenge up and RAN with it. And if ya'll haven't checked ThredUp's website by now, that's all right, cuz it just means more cute merchandise for ME to steal at rock bottom prices.

So, yesterday my girl Heidi mentioned my hurr and the bendy wave I have goin on, so I thought I'd share with you how I achieve it. It literally took me probably the last 4 years to figure it out, after trying something like 7,892 YouTube tutorials.

When I found the MMandLShow channel on YouTube, and their video for the Whitney Wave (at the bottom of the page) I was all - SURE I can get the beach waves that I have been DYING to achieve forever. That's what they ALL say. But you know what?


I'll give you a quick rundown of the tools and products I use, and then you can watch the video for yo damn self and see how easy it is. Sort of.

If I'm wearing my hair like this (as opposed to straight), I have been using L'oreal Ever Curl Shampoo and Conditioner. Then I throw in a little Living Proof Nourishing Styling Cream and some Catwalk by Tigi Your Highness Thickening Gel Creme. Then I blow it out straight using a ginormous round brush.

Yes, I said I straighten it to get it wavy. Don't judge. Typically I try to do all of this at night, sleep on it straight, and then curl in the morning so it's not QUITE so much heat all at once. Oh, I should mention I try to only wash my hair once every 3 - 5 days, unless I have been sweating up a storm and am really gross. Luckily, I don't have The Grease Head like my sis does. If anything, I have the opposite problem - too dry, and in fact the last time I had my color done I went too light and it is looking terrible on the ends. I'm going to have her trim it and not go so light next time.

Anyhoozle - when I'm ready to curl, I use a 1-1/2 inch barrel curling iron, and DO NOT open the clamp. I just wrap sections around the entire barrel, sectioning off my hair as I go. I also use Kenra's Super Hold Finishing Spray number 25 as I'm curling each section. I swear by that stuff, and haven't found anything else that I like better. I typically do this step before I do anything else when getting ready, then let it cool off while I'm doing my makeup, then go back over the whole thing with a straightening iron, very quickly. I know, I know - it sounds counter-intuitive, but it WORKS for me. Check the video below if you don't believe me. And you will probably love Michelle and Laura, cuz they funny. If you try the Whitney Wave, you'll have to let me know how it works for you!

Have a fantabulous weekend, yo!

Tee: Thrifted
Skirt: Steve Madden, via ThredUp
Shoes: Vicky's Secret
Belt as Bracelet: Target