Thursday, April 25, 2013

Potty Talk

Did you ever get a fit of the giggles in a completely inappropriate place (church or work or church) and just could NOT pull yourself together?

And does anyone else wonder why I look like I'm trying to fart in the photo above? Me neither...

Yesterdaaaaay, all my troubles seemed so faaar awaaaayyyy....oh, wait, that's another post. YESTERDAY, thanks to Amy Bo Bamy and Jason Good, I had to give myself a time out in the restroom at work. 

Here's a snippet of Jason Good's latest post: Three Simple Rules For Internet Commenters: 
3. Don't take everything seriously. If you do, I might respond. 
This was in response to a post about all the ridiculous things you’ll do when you become a parent, like let someone watch you crap while they stare blankly eating a popsicle, or cut up a grape, or almost agree to cut up a raisin. I’m sure you meant well, GOODDOC1 (who was apparently beat to the name by GOODDOC), but  I’ve never cut up a grape. I was kidding! Actually, I wasn’t–I’ve totally cut up a grape, but…ugh, see why I get so upset? I’m sure my response was met with utter confusion. At least, I hope it was. EYE OF THE PANTHER!

It was the line about letting someone watch you crap while they stare blankly at you eating a popsicle that did me in. IT'S FUNNY CUZ IT'S TRUE. Please go here to read the whole thing, and if you have never read Mr. Good before, do yourself a flavah and READ HIM, espesh if you're a parent. Side-splittingly, accidentally fart funny.

So then, while I was already trying to stifle the giggles, Amy messaged me with a link to a Harvard Med Education site about prepping for a colonoscopy. What? She likes to do a little light reading now and then, SO WHAT?

This is just a bit of what she sent:

Amy: I found my new band name in it: High Velocity Diarrhea
 me: cuz a colon blow is a laugh RION.
 Sorry - I misspelled when I read your band name.
 Amy: It's hilarious and totally serious.
 me: then PLEASE send it.
Amy: Pick up some medicated wipes (for example, Tucks or adult wet wipes with aloe and vitamin E) and a skin-soothing product such as Vaseline or Desitin — you’re going to be experiencing high-volume, high-velocity diarrhea.
 me: okay, stop.
  right now.
  I have staff meeting in 7 minutes.
 Amy: Wear loose clothing, and stay near the bathroom. Better yet, once the preparation starts to work, stay in the bathroom — because when the urge hits, it’s hard to hold back. Consider setting up shop near the toilet with music, your laptop, magazines, or books.
Arrange for the time and privacy you need to complete the prep with as little stress as possible. Clear your schedule, and be at home. If you have children or aging parents who need attention, have someone else be available to them while you’re indisposed.
me: I'm done. stopped reading. had to go to the bathroom and collect myself.
 Amy: have a good meeting!
 me: I WILL go back when I get home and read what you sent thoroughly though. With a Tuck's medicated pad.
Amy: Jesus be a Tuck's right now.
....annnnnnd SCENE. 
Linked here.
Jacket/Necklace/Tee: TargetJeans/Boots: Zara


Zahra Sandberg said...

Omg this WAS one of those times when I laughed innapropriately - thank you very much. Though I should have known so that is my fault! And btw you didnt mention it but this Cali girl is really digging the look! I live in Chicago now but my heart is in California!