Monday, February 25, 2013

Red Carpet Recap: Oscars - Let's Do This.

Man, when I was uploading my picks for best, worst, and everything in between, there was a whole lotta non-color, blah dresses. I guess we should just get to it. Here we go, in no particular order.

Except for Stacy Keibler, who hands down won the night. Holy schnikes - this is frigging perfection, from the 20s waved hurr to that dress. That aMAZing dress. Unbelievable.

Nicole Kidman, love the unusual color and pattern on this dress, and her hair is soft and pretty. Love love elll ohhh veeeee eeee the jurreys too.

Naomi Watts. She purty. The dress is weird and cool and beautiful. Love it.

Love Sandra Bullock in this too, even though you can see through the bottom, which I typically LOATHE. Still, she looks gorge, and possibly like her face has settled a bit, so she's not quite so plastic-botoxy. Good on you, Sandy.

I have no idea who Alicia Vikander is, but I love her dress. Love the color, and love that thin gold belt.  

Charlize Theron - BROUGHT. IT. Dayum, I may have to move her to the top of my Girl Crush list.

Helena Bonham-Carter - All right - enough of this shit. We know the crazy wackadoo Vivienne Westwood schtick is your thing, but enough is enough. Your hair looks like a rat's nest, and this dress looks like the handkerchief challenge from Project Runway Rejects.

And now, the award for the PUH-LEEEEZE Wear Some Color on the Red Carpet for the love of Zeus is a tie between....

Amy Adams (DUH) - but don't you LOVE the creeper in the background in orthopedic shoes????


Jessica Chastain! I have to say, though, that the more I look at her dress, the more I like it - and it was way better on camera than in a photo, I just wish it didn't match her skin so closely.

Jennifer Lawrence. Hmmmm....just....hmmmmmm....

Kristin Chenowith, your hair and makeup is so severe that I cannot get past it to properly critique what you're wearing. Plus, you were HELLA annoying on the red carpet, talking to people as they came in. WE GET IT, you are petite. Now shut yer pie hole about it.

Melissa McCarthy - unfortunate. I love her so much, and wish she had a stylist who would put her in something that locked and loaded, as Stacy and Clinton like to say. This just looks sloppy, and the hair is ridiculous.

Speaking of rititulous - Brandi Glanville - girl, you KNOW I love you, but that dress is about 2 seconds away from peep show. AND WHAT IS WITH ALL OF THE BLAH COLORS?????

Louise Roe, in dress by Dexter Morgan. Seriously. If you squint when you look at it, it's like she is bleeding out all over the place.

Olivia Munn, why are you there? Even though the creeper in the background seems to approve, she is one of those people on my Irrational Loathing list (along with T Swift, Anne Hathaway, and Katherine Heigel). And that dress? Is just dumb.

Maria Menounos, serving up Stepford Barbie Realness.

I don't know who this person is, but she is posing like this in LITERALLY every photo I found of her. Weird.

Zoe Saldana - ahhhhh, palate cleanser of awesome. THANK YOU.

Catherine Zeta Jones, resplendent in Cache prom collection.

THANK YOU! I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress. 



Bekah McDuffie said...

The girl with the deep v black dress played Eponine in Le Mis! But hands down Naomi Watts is my fave!

Suzanne Carillo Style Files said...

At first I agreed with you about Jessica Chastain, but the more I looked at her the more I just love it. She old style glamour.


Paula said...

There is nothing irrational about your dislike of Anne Hathaway. She irks me to no end and I wish I had hit mute during her acceptance speech. Blah. And why does it look like Kristin Chenowith's breasts are being attacked by sperm? Weird. And loved Charlize and Zoe - perfection!