Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Colon Blow

Yeesh - I have a colonoscopy scheduled for Friday. My dad had colon cancer when he was 30, so my sis and I, lucky ducks that we are, are supposed to get them every 5 years. I haven't had one in 9. Oopsie. 

WHAT?!! For the last 4, I've been birthing and raising three chillruns - cut me some slackeroonie.

I don't know if you have ever had a colonoscopy, but if you haven't, let me fill you in. The procedure itself isn't that bad, if only because you are snoozing away in dreamland while the doc looks up your poop chute with a teeny tiny camera. Yes, poop chute IS the technical term. Don't believe me? LOOK IT UP.

But in order to get a good look at said poop chute? It has to be cleaned out. Hence the HORRIFIC part of the whole shebang. The day prior to your colonoscopy, you need to cleanse. Fast all day long - nothing except clear liquids or broths, nothing red, green or purple because it stains your intestines. Nice, huh? And then? When you're starving and shaky and weak from hunger? You start The Prep. In my case, it's 64 ounces of Gatorade mixed with a powder that promotes massive and repeated colon blow. Oh, and four dulcolax. Let's just say that by midnight before the procedure, you should be clean as a whistle. Aren't you glad you visited the blog today???

So I guess I need to get my drank and eat on before Thursday, huh? Here's to pizza and beer for dinner tonight!

Top: The Limited, 100 years ago
Pants: Target
Shoes: ZooShoo
Earrings, Necklace: Standard Style Boutique
Cuff: Charming Charlie's



Kish said...

Why did I feel the need to tighten up my, uh, "glutes" while reading this!!!???

Anyway, good luck with all the crap that you have to do (pun intended) before your procedure! I truly hope that all will be okay!

Jenny @ Spry On The Wall said...

Okay so now I have that Colon blow song from SNL (parody commercial) in my head now (just like I did back in the day) - lol! Love that necklace! Good luck and good times!

Girls Love Fried Pickles said...

i thoroughly now expect that doing this would not be good for said hemmoroids? but i have had one and after loosing 28 thousand pounds decided a big mac was in order didn't end well.

Charlie Sommers said...

The procedure was painless but thanks to all the air that the doc pumped into my innards afterward I could have tucked a golf ball into my poopchute, bent over, and fired it into orbit.