Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Random Letters


Dear Anonymous Person Who Left the Remains of Your Onion-Filled Sandwich in our Restroom Trashcan at the Office,
Thank you. The variety of flavors really adds to the piquant aromas of the way-too-strong plug-in, the Febreze we spray to mask the plug-in, and the obvious bathroom odors. We appreciate you.

Signed,
The Management


Dear Fresh Pineapple,
Thank you for being you. Sweet, juicy, and a little sloppy. I have someone I'd like to introduce you to: Yogurt Fruit Dip. No, no - don't scoff yet. You would be the PERFECT couple. Hear me out:

1/2 c 0% Fage Greek yogurt
1 T honey (orange blossom if you've got it)
1 t lime zest
pinch red pepper

Holy moly - does that combination sound like a party in my mouth? Rest assured - IT IS. See? We can even invite your friends fresh strawberries and blueberries if you're into that sort of thing.

Sincerely,
Awwwww Yeeeaaaaahhhh


Dear  Target,
Thank you for making my favorite new shorts of the season. They are rad. And comfy. Props for the pockets. 

Signed,
I'm Wearing These Every Weekend Until Fall


Dear Target, Part Deux,
Thank you for making sandals that are cheap enough and cute enough that I can buy one pair each year and wear them until they literally fall apart.

Signed,
Please Don't Fall Off My Feet When I'm On My Birthday Date With The Hubs This Weekend


Dear Glasses,
Listen up, bitchez - your days are numbered. After the Lasik consultation on Thursday? If I'm a candidate? I will pulverize you into powder with my bare hands. You suck.

Signed,
Your Worst Nightmare

Jacket, Tank: Old Navy
Sandals, Shorts: Target
Necklace: Threadsence
Earrings: Gift
Bracelet: Charming Charlie's

Merci!
Shan


1 comments:

GirlieBlogger@Beauty Fashion Blog Seattle said...

Nice jacket. Old Navy has really cute stuff.