Lately I have upped my intake of protein smoothies (or POOVIES, as we pronounce them in Casa de BlahBlah), and Imma just tell it to you straight up. This post ain't for everybody. Only the sexy people. So all you fly muthas....get on out there and DANCE.
Oh...I'm sorry...I was moved to bust out some Salt-n-Pepa on you there. Let me continue. What I was trying to disclaim is that if you are at all of delicate sensibilities, perhaps you should stop reading....or if you're more...ahhhh...MATURE than I am, you may not want to continue.
Cuz the troof of the matter is, all those protein poovies? They give me gas, yo.
(don't I look a little bit like I'm trying to squeak one out here? unintentional, I ASSure you.)
Anyhoozle, I have gas like you wouldn't BELIEVE, and it's not the cute kind either. Oh, no. It's the "I Smell Like a 350 pound Man who has recently been in a Hard-Boiled-Egg-Eating Contest." True story.
To make matters worse (there is something worse that what you've already told us, Shannan? You may be wondering...) YES - to make matters worse - when I typed the description in the paragraph above? I laughed out loud. Sad but true. And by "sad but true," I CLEARLY mean "HILARIOUS but true."
So to those of you who were unfortunate enough to stand behind me in TurboKick last night? Well, all I can do is say "You have my apologies and my sympathies." And to those of you still reading this? Thank you for sticking with me, and I KNEW I wasn't the only one who found farts funny.
Sweater: Old Navy
Shoes: Vicky's Secret
Necklace: Urban Outfitters