Tuesday, April 17, 2012

The Defiant Ones

Left for work yesterday after yelling at the boys and sending them to their rooms because of blatant defiance. No kisses. No hugs. No I Love You's. I felt guilty and hollow all day long, and just wanted to go home and hold them. I know it's part of the package - the guilt and discipline, but the phrase "this hurts me worse than it hurts you" never hit home so much. I don't know what to do with open defiance - how to handle it. Whether it's running across the parking lot at Lowe's while we're yelling at Simon to stop, or saying nasty things to their sister when we ask them to stop, or even sitting in their rooms in timeout and CONTINUING to say the things I have asked them not to say. I see red, I yell. HOW IN THE WORLD does one maintain their cool? Stay the adult? I would LOVE to know.

7 comments:

Jenny @ Spry On The Wall said...

If you figure it out let me know. We are struggling with this too with our girl. Pushing every boundary known to mankind. Ugh.

Sarah said...

I love the Love & Logic parenting book. It really takes the yelling/screaming out of parenting and makes the good behavior be a decision the child makes and not something that is forced on him. Free will. It takes a while to work, but it works for us.

MerciBlahBlah said...

Sarah - I have GOT to check out Love & Logic - I hear lots of good things about it. Thanks for reminding me. Jenny - if it works for us, I'll let you know!!!

pyjammy pam said...

Okay, I think I need to check out the Love and Logic book too. Mine are generally pretty good, but they definitely have their moments. My favorite being the one where they LAUGH while you're disciplining them. That's what makes my blood boil. Oooh!

MerciBlahBlah said...

OOOOOh, gurrrrrlll - I concur. I see RED when they laugh. Glad to know that mine aren't the only ones who do that.

FRANKIE HEARTS FASHION said...

shit...when you it out can you call be so I can prep for this?! Hang in there sister! xo

oomph. said...

my son went from terrible threes to fabulously frightful fours. he is totally in a defiant stage. time outs up the ying yang. i may have to check out that book.

[oomph.]