Shan
Friday, April 29, 2011
Yo Yo Yo Mama
Shan
Labels: apothica, skincarerx
Tummy Tuck Timeline: Friday
Shan
Labels: tummy tuck
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wachoo Waiting For?
Labels: apothica
Dear Aldo Shoes,
I am ready and willing to pimp you out if you would like to bestow any (OR ALL) of the following items on me.
Merci,
Shannan
Labels: Aldo Shoes
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Random Inspiration
Shan
Labels: ASOS, Atlantic-Pacific, Rachel Roy, Where Did U Get That
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Tummy Tuck Timeline: To Sleep, Perchance to Dream
To dream that you are going through a tunnel, suggests that you are exploring aspects of your unconscious. You are opening yourself to a brand new awareness. Alternatively, it indicates your limited perspective as in the phrase "tunnel vision." Are you being close minded or narrow-minded in some issue?
To see the light at the end of a tunnel, symbolizes hope. You will navigate through life and all its difficulties with great success. Alternatively, it also indicates the end of your journey and the realization of your goals.
I was stressing out because I COULD NOT PICK OUT AN OUTFIT TO WEAR, was running out of time and had not shaved, so it was a bit like welcome to the jungle "DOWN THERE" if you catch my drift. Again, you can see why this dream may not mean anything other than what it means. Add to that the stress that Amy and Natty were already dressed and gorgeous, there was a random shark swimming through an open window (I have a LOT of shark dreams too), and well, it puts a bit of pressure on a girl. Thank GOD I woke up.
Merci!
Shan
Labels: tummy tuck
Monday, April 25, 2011
Tummy Tuck Timeline, Weekend Edition Part Deux
Shan
Labels: tummy tuck
Um, Yum.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Tummy Tuck Timeline: Weekend Edition
Friday:
Noonish:
Oh, hi Aunt Flo. It's so nice to see you at the really inconvenient time in my life. Shouldn't there be a Hallmark card for this? Menstruation: Because there's no better time for it than when you're recovering from a tummy tuck.
.
2 p.m.
The drains are out! The drains are out!! Went to the doc for my post op checkup and he decided to take mercy on me and remove the stupid drains. It was also the first time I got to see my naked belly and brand new belly button (since the old one went away). I have named the new one "Frankenbutton," due to its horrific, reddish purple, stitched up, swollen appearance. Fingers crossed it doesn't stay this way, or its only a matter of time before villagers bearing pitchforks and flaming torches chase us both into the night. The doc tells me I can SHOWER TOMORROW. Wheeee!!!! On the way out, the nurse gives me a giant box of pads to put over all the mangled bits on my belly and under the binder after showering, and tells me to apply Neosporin to the drain holes (gag), and Frankenbutton after showering. I will go back in 10 days to have the stitches taken out of Frankenbutton. The rest of the stitches in my lower abdomen will dissolve on their own.
.
Saturday:
9 a.m.
Natty Lite comes over to keep me company, and brings a lurvly orange gerbera daisy flower. She tho thweet. Whilst visiting she also mentions how GLAD she is the drain is out so she doesn't have to read about it anymore. I wonder if everyone else is thinking the same thing.
.
11:30ish a.m.
ALERT! ALERT! ALERT!
Poop Watch 2011 has officially ended. In fact, it ends with a bang. I wonder if I should have had a box of Milk Duds or a Baby Ruth on hand to give to Natty for guessing that it would end sometime on Saturday between 9 and 2.....
.
1:30 p.m.
Shower time.
I'm nervous. Skurred even. This is the first time I will have fully seen my belly standing full on looking in the mirror. What if I hate it? What if it's completely mangled beyond belief? Did I do the right thing with surgery? Was it really that bad to begin with? Will I pass out when I have to put Neosporin on my drain wounds? I wrestle out of the binder and look in the mirror. Well, there it is. The faint blue line down my belly from when the doctor marked it with a felt pen. Frankenbutton there in all its red, puffy glory. And down further, a jagged, taped up line from hip to hip where the incision is. I look quickly, not too long, grab the camera, and take a photo. ONE photo. Usually I take anywhere from ten to 12 photos, but not this time. I look at the screen to make sure it took, turn the camera off, and put it away. One is all I can take for now. I still have to get IN the shower, which has been running while I've been undressing. I step gingerly in, back to the water, which is warm but not hot. Let it run over, being careful not to get the stream of water directly on my stomach. I wash as quickly as I can and then get out, patting a clean, dry towel over my stomach, then getting a clean, dry washcloth to go over it again. Use a Q-tip to apply Neosporin to Frankenbutton and the drain wounds, then use approximately 12 giant pads trying to cover my stomach before trying to wriggle back into the binder, which is a bitch to get into by myself.
.
Get dressed in clothing that is not just giant sweat pants and an old tee, put on makeup, perfume, and fix my hair. This is the best I have felt all week. I cannot believe the difference just having a shower made. I feel like a new woman.
,
Here's to tomorrow and feeling even better.
Merci,
Shan
Labels: tummy tuck
Friday, April 22, 2011
T3: Tummy Tuck Timeline Friday
The good thing is that I have an appointment this afternoon so the doc can look at the drains and possibly take them out (fingers crossed). I don't know if this also means I'll get to see my stomach for the first time, but I am NERVOUS about it. What if I don't like it? What if my new belly button is all wonky? What if he forgot to put in a new belly button? What if he was feeling feisty the day he did it and added a third nipple, a la Chandler Bing? Who knows - ANYTHING could be under that binder.
.
Keep your fingers crossed and I'll report back after I see it. I may even go crazy and post some photos this weekend if things don't look too gruesome.
.
Speaking of potato pancakes, why haven't you entered the Apothica giveaway yet? Surrsly, peeps, there are only two people entered so far. What da HAIL? Get thee hence and enter!
Labels: tummy tuck
Thursday, April 21, 2011
T3: Tummy Tuck Timeline Thursday
Guess who got up and made their own breakfast AND LUNCH yesterday? This guy. Things really felt like they turned a corner yesterday in terms of pain. Don't get me wrong - my lady bits are still swollen as hell (oh, hadn't I mentioned that before? Yup - because of the crotchless binder I'm wearing, gravity does its thang and forces all that pressure you-know-where).
.
The good thing is that instead of walking 90 degrees hunched over (like a 187-year-old woman), I feel like I'm more at 45 degrees hunched, walking like a spring chicken of 87 years young. Speaking of spring chickens, thank hebbins I got the kiddos their Easter basket stuff last weekend, so this weekend we can hide it and have a hunt in the yard provided the weather cooperates. I may or may not have gotten an extra box of Cadbury Creme Egg minis which I fully intend to eat. Does anyone else like those or am I the only one? I mean, in theory they are disgusting, yet in real life? DELICIOUS.
.
Poop Watch 2011? Is still on. Yep - still waiting for doody to call. Unfortch all the meds I'm on cause constipation, so I have started popping Colace on top of them. Nice. I really can't wait to get to the point when I can stop the meds, because I'm tired of feeling tired and groggy all the time. An addict I am not (unless we're talking Cadbury Creme Eggs, then all bets are off).
.
I am also getting itchy all up in the hizzouse under my binder and gauze, but that could also be because I discovered yesterday it is apparently doubling as a crumb-catcher. I have eaten more Ritz crackers this week than I have in my entire life, and virtually every crumb has fallen down my shirt and into the binder edge. I'll have to apologize to the nurse when she sees me next time for being so slovenly.
.
Another thing I can't wait for? A FRIGGING SHOWER. This morning I resorted to ye olde whore's shower, scrubbing my pits and parts with a wash cloth. Well, on THAT note, I'll leave you to your day. I can't tell you how much it means that you're sticking with me through these updates that clearly provide too much information, and your comments rully, truly have cheered me up.
Merci!
Shan
Labels: tummy tuck
Apothica Giveaway
I am sooooo 'cited to have partnered with Apothica for a $25 gift card giveaway. For the love of Tammy Faye Bakker, they have a veritable SHMORGISHBORG of health and beauty stuff, from Too Faced to MD Perricone to Boscia, Fresh, and even La Mer, to about twelvity-five beeeelllion other brands. One that I am MOST excited about is Comptoir Sud Pacifique espesh at this time of year because their fragrances smell beachy and hebbinly. Vanilla Abricot? Vanilla Banana? Vanilla Coco????? Y-U-M.
You too, La Mer. I know we have never met, but it may be time to splurge.
.
What I'm sayin is this: GET TO COMMENTING, PEOPLE!!! To enter, first, you must be a follower of MBB, and then choose any or all of the following methods-o-entry:
Merci,
Shannan
Labels: apothica
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
T3: Tummy Tuck Timeline, Wednesday
Yesterday was a bad one, peeps. Maybe worse than Monday because I didn't have so many drugs in my system. Every time I got up to use the bathroom my hips where the drains are felt like the searing pain of 10,000 burning suns. Okay, maybe not QUITE that dramatic, but they hurt like a mutha, especially the left one. The drainage is decreasing each day, which is good - mayhaps they will remove them Friday (fingers crossed) because once that bridge is crossed, from what I understand, I will feel mucho better-o.
Didn't do much other than sit in my recliner, sleep, eat, watch ANTM, and cruise the information superhighway. Talked to a few people on the phone, and it is AMAZING how much that can perk a person up.
I am eating pretty much anything I can (within reason), since I have yet to have a well, you know, ummmm, a number two? I haven't dropped a deuce? you catch my drift. Not to mention we're out of colace, so hopefully the Hubs can pick somma dat up today. WHAT? It's all part of the pipes down there, and if my recollection after my c-section is any indication, I am NOT looking forward to it AT ALL. Jesus, take the wheel.
Anypoop, thank you for all the well wishes you have made. I know I haven't replied to any so I'm doing it here. I sincerely appreciate them, and it makes my day every time I see one.
Mwah!
Shan
Labels: tummy tuck
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Bloggers Do It Better
Color blocking, that is. Black gold, Texas T.....okay, really it is just color blocking. Don't belive me? Check it out your damn self here. You're welcome!
Labels: Bloggers Do It Better
T3: Tummy Tuck Timeline
Monday, 8 p.m.ish:Hobble into the living room to watch TV with The Hubs after the Trips go to bed. Watch two episodes of The Hills (uh, HELLOOOO new obsession), and can I just say I think Spencer Pratt is the most condescending, mooching, douchey asshole on TV EVER? I am completely serious. Camille Grammar? Like Mother Teresa compared to Spencer Pratt. I know I am a few years behind in my obsession, but just let me have it now, okay?
.
Have some tea and my favorite new cookie:
.
Watch Cougar Town (FINALLY it's back on already)! I love that show. Hang with The Hubs on the couch until beddy bye time, which means drain time.
.
10 p.m.ish
Drain the bags that are attached to the tummy, but which I thankfully do not have to see because of the HUGE crotchless binder I am wearing. Nothing says sexy time like a huge crotchless binder. The Hubs pretty much does the drain for me and records the amount on the sheet given to us by the doc's office. The Hubs rocks. He has done everything for me from giving me shots in the arse with the biggest needle I have ever seen when I was going through IVF, to now draining a nasty bodily-fluid-filled grenade from my belly. They will call each day to get our numbers, and when the amount draining decreases to a certain amount, the drains will come out. That day cannot come soon enough, because those fuckers are PAINFUL. Aside from the fact that my incision runs hip to hip, the drains (particularly the left one) feel like fire every time I get up to walk, which I am doing completely bent over. Not fun. My friend Gretchen (who had a tuck about 6 weeks ago) says the first 48 hours are the worst. Pray God that is right, because if so, I'm half-way there.
.
1:15 a.m., 3:45 a.m., 5:15 a.m.:
Percoset/muscle relaxer; antibiotic; Percoset time
Thankfully I am able to go right back to sleep each time. I am, in fact, surprised how well I have been able to sleep. Ah the wonders of drugs.
Labels: tummy tuck
The Nevers
Monday, April 18, 2011
T3: Tummy Tuck Timeline
Sunday, 9 p.m.
Pop my valium (for anxiety) while listening to the boyz in the hood REFUSE to go to sleep. It hasn't kicked in yet. GRRRRRR.....
Talk to Ames on the phone, who is disappointed I am not already hopped up on the goofball. Refuse adamantly when she asks if I will allow The Hubs to videotape me after surgery for her amusement.
.
10 p.m.
Nod off watching TV with The Hubs (just like every other night of my life, SANS happy pill)
.
Sometime in the night:
Dream I am at a bar and a blogger recognizes me and sends me a bag of candy. I can only assume the candy is present because apparently any time I take drugs it is (see: Ambien - while in the hospital on bedrest before the Trips came, I was taking Ambien to sleep, and one night in a drug-fueled haze said to the Hubs: "What kind of candy do you like? I like the kind that comes down a straw and right into my mouth.")
.
D-day (aka Monday)
6:30 a.m.
Alarm goes off to "We Are the Champions," which I take as a good sign. Hey, at least it wasn't "Fat Bottom Girls."
.
6:35 a.m.
Shower. Dry my hurr - it has to be good, cuz this shower is going to last me for 4 - 5 days until the drains come out. Blargh.
.
9 a.m.
Stand in bikini bottoms while the doc uses a blue felt-tip marker to doodle on my abdomen. Look slightly like Jim Carrey in Liar Liar after he writes all over his face with a blue pen.
.
Sometime around noon:
Wake groggily and peer through bleary eyes at two random faces waking me up in the recover room. I have no idea who they are. The nurse wheels me to the car. I get home and hobble sloooooowly to the couch. Eat chicken noodle souple (I'm wacked out on drugs which have clearly affected my ability to spell), and watch The Real Housewives of the OC before hobbling again to the recliner in my bedroom and crash. Hey I HAVE to get my RHOOC in, bitchez. My stomach feels like I have done a million crunches and then been punched a bejillion times.
.
Getting up to go to the bathroom is EXCRUCIATING.
.
5 p.m.
PERCOSET time. I have slept most of the day with HGTV playing in the background, which I have decided should be renamed The Only Show We Play Is House Hunters All Fucking Day TV.
.
7 p.m.
Watch Intervention In Depth: Heroin Highway. What better show to watch than one I will cleary end up on. MUSCLE-RELAXER TIME!
Labels: tummy tuck
Irrational Fear
Needless to say, my blogging will be sporadic this week, if at all. I have a guest blogger who will be gracing us with her hilarity, a giveaway, and I hope to read Amy's recap of her UH-MAZ-ING experience last week. Surrsly - stick around. I'll be back in the saddle before you can say Joan Rivers.
.
Merci!
Shan
Friday, April 15, 2011
Dear Shopbop,
Can I have one please?????
Please just gimme one. Just one????? This one is my FAVEY FAVE.

























































