Tuesday, August 2, 2011


This is a good one today, kids. Not only is it the Return of Banana Mantle 2011 (sadly, the bananas are cropped out of the wooden bowl just to the left of my head, but they are there - trust), but it is also a DIY post. And I know you've seen this dress before, not so long ago, but NEWSFLASH - I actually wear my clothes more than once, and 2) it goes perfectly with the tie dye theme of this post, though the dress is more like it was made by tie dye master craftsmen, as opposed to my end result. Let's taste the rainbow together, so to speak. Pun intended.

What you'll need for your own tie dye project:
  • White sheets and pillowcases, preferably 800 thread count or higher
  • Duvet (stay with me here)
  • One packet black RIT Dye, left unattended in a bag on the floor behind the dresser, but in obvious hands-reach of two 3-year-old boys
  • Two 3-year old boys. Duh.
Just after bathing three 3-year olds (preferably, it's better if they are already CLEAN for the evening), and just before bedtime, while chaos is ensuing when trying to keep them from falling off the bed, pulling the alarm clock off the dresser, or turning the taps back on in the tub, make sure that one of them finds the packet of RIT Dye, and tears it open with his teeth.

When The Husband asks (loudly, I might add), "WHAT THE HELL IS ALL OF THIS BLACK STUFF ON THE BED?" look immediately to 3-year old toddler number one, who is suspiciously covered in black RIT powder, from eyeballs to teeth.
Scream loudly - "WHAT THE HELL?!!!!!" but do NOT, under any circumstances, make a move to pick him or 3-year-old toddler number two up. Stand in shock and awe as the scene unfolds in front of you. As The Hubs picks up toddler number one (we'll call him "SIMON"), quickly, but not efficiently, move the two remaining toddlers to the hardwood floor just outside of the bedroom. Loudly instruct them DO NOT MOVE FROM THIS SPOT. Grab the sheets, duvet, and pillows from the bed, and loudly instruct the toddlers OPEN THE DOOR FOR MOMMY BUT DO NOOOOOT GO OUTSIDE, then proceed to shake the dye powder off of each sheet. Run them to the laundry room, then return to toddler number two to take in to The Hubs, who has moved from splashing water in toddler number one's face to showering quickly with him. Throw him toddler number two (while toddler number three, who has managed to remain dye free - THE GIRL, DUH - waits patiently on the hardwoods just outside the bedroom).
When both boys are re-washed (this step is very important), and everyone is put in bed, don't forget to put said sheets in the washer and wash them. When finished, remove them to dryer, noting that the once pristine high-thread-count sheets now sport a dingy, dirty, grey and black tie dye effect. Shout loudly F@#K ME.

I hope this DIY tutorial has been helpful. If you have any questions on tie-dying your own sheets, please send me your street address and I can ship two 3-year old boys to you to help speed the process along.

Dress: Rachel Roy
Bracelets and Earrings: F21 and Macy's

WOWM: Work Out With Me
Here you go kids. Have fun!



Emmett Katherine said...

I love this dress, it is just fabulous!!!! Like LOVE! The colours and the style of it. Oh. And I wear my clothes more than once too!!!

Carly said...

OK..that just sounds like total horrible chaos. OMG. Your poor sheets. I was going to share that I had the worst experience getting ready for bathtime the other night..lil guy peed on wall and took shit in tub- but I thnk that pales in comparison w your story....just picturing it makes me sweat.

GORGEOUS dress...everything is perfect and look at your gams girl! Happy tuesday.

Jenny said...

Why oh why don't we live closer to each other. My girl would have loved to join in on those reindeer games. Currently I'm dealing with random peeing on carpet to the tune of "Uh oh Mommy I'm peeing" I told her that even cats will find a container to pee in, you are smarter than a cat (I think -lol).

ruthie said...

oh no! hey at least the dress is fabulous. xx

Paula said...

Holy shit - your poor bedding!!! I shouldn't be laughing and cringing at the same time. not one little bit. but those little imps of yours are gosh darn creative in their endeavors to amuse the (far removed from the situation) world. seriously, it's time to write your memoirs of raising the Tripps. I'll buy the book and send you some bubbly to celebrate.

and gorgeous dress!


Oh em gee Shan...That sounds disastrous and yet so something that my sister and I would have done as kids. Well that and crashing the car into the garage! Oy.

That dress is fan-freaking-tabulous!!!!!!

SR said...

Your dress is fan-freakin-tab-u-lous! Beautiful!
Also, the best laugh out loud post I have read. I can completely see what was happening based on your post.Sucks about your sheets though - dang.

oomph. said...

fricken hilarious...SORRY! i am sorry about those sheets..but i could just picture it. too bad the dye wasn't pretty yellows and blues?? you look amazing in that dress.


this free bird said...

*collapses laughing* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

MerciBlahBlah said...

All ya'll and your comments make this post worth it. ALMOST.