This is a good one today, kids. Not only is it the Return of Banana Mantle 2011 (sadly, the bananas are cropped out of the wooden bowl just to the left of my head, but they are there - trust), but it is also a DIY post. And I know you've seen this dress before, not so long ago, but NEWSFLASH - I actually wear my clothes more than once, and 2) it goes perfectly with the tie dye theme of this post, though the dress is more like it was made by tie dye master craftsmen, as opposed to my end result. Let's taste the rainbow together, so to speak. Pun intended.
- White sheets and pillowcases, preferably 800 thread count or higher
- Duvet (stay with me here)
- One packet black RIT Dye, left unattended in a bag on the floor behind the dresser, but in obvious hands-reach of two 3-year-old boys
- Two 3-year old boys. Duh.
This next part is very important: MAKE SURE HE OPENS IT WITH HIS TEETH ON THE BED WHILE YOUR BACK IS TURNED.
When The Husband asks (loudly, I might add), "WHAT THE HELL IS ALL OF THIS BLACK STUFF ON THE BED?" look immediately to 3-year old toddler number one, who is suspiciously covered in black RIT powder, from eyeballs to teeth.
Scream loudly - "WHAT THE HELL?!!!!!" but do NOT, under any circumstances, make a move to pick him or 3-year-old toddler number two up. Stand in shock and awe as the scene unfolds in front of you. As The Hubs picks up toddler number one (we'll call him "SIMON"), quickly, but not efficiently, move the two remaining toddlers to the hardwood floor just outside of the bedroom. Loudly instruct them DO NOT MOVE FROM THIS SPOT. Grab the sheets, duvet, and pillows from the bed, and loudly instruct the toddlers OPEN THE DOOR FOR MOMMY BUT DO NOOOOOT GO OUTSIDE, then proceed to shake the dye powder off of each sheet. Run them to the laundry room, then return to toddler number two to take in to The Hubs, who has moved from splashing water in toddler number one's face to showering quickly with him. Throw him toddler number two (while toddler number three, who has managed to remain dye free - THE GIRL, DUH - waits patiently on the hardwoods just outside the bedroom).
When both boys are re-washed (this step is very important), and everyone is put in bed, don't forget to put said sheets in the washer and wash them. When finished, remove them to dryer, noting that the once pristine high-thread-count sheets now sport a dingy, dirty, grey and black tie dye effect. Shout loudly F@#K ME.