Wednesday, August 31, 2011

WWD: A Horse Is A Horse

Pardon my French, but what the FUCK are my kids doing up before SIX A.M.????? As Danny Glover once so eloquently said, "I'm getting too old for this shit."

I walked into the kitchen and saw this little horse lying on the floor, looking forlorn, so I thought I'd invite him to participate in the morning photo shoot.

He did a pretty good job, for a rookie.

A little standoffish here though, wouldn't you say?
Oh no you did NOT just raise your tail and fart in my general direction.
Okay, we've made up here and are doing our "Cagney & Lacey" stance.
Dude - do NOT drop a deuce while you're up there.
A lil Captain Morgan in the morning never hurt anyone.

I'm so nice I even airbrushed the horse.
His coat looks FLAWLESS.

What would we doooo, baby, without us????

Just wanted to point two non-horse-related items out. One, when Simon saw my skirt this morning before work, he said, "Mommy has knee-bones on her skirt!" because that's what they call skeletons, since I showed them the old cartoon of "the knee bone's connected to the shin bone..." yada yada yada. 

Secondly, the two scabs on my actual knee bones? Rug burns. HEY - NOT FROM THAT! Get yo dirty mind out the gutter. They are from a bodyrock work out I did where SOMEONE (this guy) was doing one-armed push-ups. Granted, they were one-armed push-ups on my knees, but I'm kind of proud of my war wounds. Have you ever tried one-armed push-ups? They're effing DIFFICULT. The first one down I almost face-planted, until I figured out how to keep my balance in check (balance is NOT one of my strong suits). Anyhoozle, if you want to try the workout, you can find it here.

Shirt: F21
Skirt: Target, thrifted
Shoes: Thrifted
Necklace: Design Spark
Bracelets: Charming Charlie's (cuff); friendship bracelet, friend


Tuesday, August 30, 2011

WWD: When Life Hands You Lemons... make lemonade. DUH.

Here's my recipe. Assemble the following:

Three 3-year olds, preferably at 6:45 a.m.
One mommy (gone to the gym)
One daddy (asleep in the bedroom for approximately 30 minutes to an hour)

After pulling a chair up to the stove (SAFETY FIRST!), in a tupperware pitcher pulled from under the cabinet, mix the following items:
1 mostly full bottle Mrs. Butterworth's syrup (lite only)
1/2 gumball machine of pretzel M&Ms
partial box Skittles
1 box raisins
1 mostly full jar of red pepper flakes
1 mostly full jar of Sprinkles
2 lemons, full
1 apple, full
Chocolate milk mix
Strawberry milk mix

Stir all above ingredients together, making sure to fully coat the M&Ms and Skittles.
Be sure to keep "lemonade" contained mostly to the pitcher and countertop.

Attempt again the following morning before mommy catches you and throws you in "the clink," (i.e., your bed with the tent fully zipped and clipped). Rattle the door handle the next subsequent morning to make a third attempt before realizing that daddy has switched the door handle around so you are locked in.
I don't expect parents of one child to understand or agree with turning a door handle around, but as my pal Pam says, "Only another triplet parent wouldn't call CPS on us..." True dat, Pam. True. Dat.

Shirt: Target
Jeans: Hudson via clothing swap
Shoes: Target
Necklace: vintage, ebay
Bracelet: F21
Earrings: World Market

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Monday, August 29, 2011

Lust List

I posted the following a coupla weeks ago on Style Scout and thought I'd share my Lust List of items I'm crazy bananas for come fall on on MBB as well. Apparently lately, I cannot seem to get enough 70s boho Farrah Fawcett-Majors/Stevie Nicks via Native America with a dash of Aztec-aaaah thrown in for good measure. These come via supah dupah giant flare jeans, cool vintage button down blouses, and platforms (thanks Farrah), or fringe, fringe, and more fringe (a la Stevie - Mz Nicks if you're nasty).
 For the love of Jaleel White, that bag? Need to build a bridge and get OVER itself.

Those boots are made for walking right the hell into my closet.

Fringe. Suede. Bag and Boots. ALL are DEFINITE must-haves fo fall. Fo sho. Those bottom boots courtesy of my girl Carrie.

Let's get one thing straight - THIS is the year I will conquer the kimono. I have been searching for DECADES for the perfect one. And by "decades" I mean "the past few seasons." But still, I am OBSESSED with them. Don't care if it's vintage or new. It will be mine. Oh yes, it WILL be mine.
And just cuz it's Monday, I thought I'd add a lil funny to your day. Enjoy.



Friday, August 26, 2011

Girl Crush: Rosie Huntington-Whitely

I know, I know - she looks like a Victoria's Secret model - oh, wait - she IS a Victoria's Secret model??? Jerk. No matter - I have been loving what she is wearing on the red carpet lately. That drapey hot pink column below is sick. And the drapey silver backless dress? And the drapey navy halter? Ditto and DITTO.

Check out the back of that bad boy. Guh. Loves the twisty strappy thing. What I think I love even more? When she wears less formal dresses, like the tiger number she wore to the MTV Movie Awards.
Those shoes? Would make me slap my mama. But wait - that's not ALL. Check out my favorite in all the land - the SICK 70s-inspired day dress, caramel boots and bag, and the aviators - LORD HELP ME, the aviators (in my opinion the COOLEST sunglasses evah). Don't take my word for it though - just watch some episodes of CHIPs, and you'll see what I mean.

Seriously though - that photo above is like a frigging magazine editorial, and not an "oh, you just caught me at the airport and I look better than everyone else alive" paparazzi snap. Jerkity erk. What? I can have a crush and still think she's a damn jerk. That shit ain't right.

Happy Friday, yo!


Thursday, August 25, 2011

WWD: Brocade-y

I was going to post photos of the "sparkly" black jacket that I talked about yesterday, but when I went through them to apply the Picnik airbrush feature (a girl's best friend), I realized they were H to the O to the riffic. Homegirl looked ROUGH. Lucky for you and me BOTH I had some more pics in the pipe.

I love these metallic silver brocade shorts that my sis got me for my bday last year. I wasn't so sure about them at first; they were very stiff and brocade-y, but after washing them twelvity-five times, they have softened up nicely. What? brocade-y is a word. Look it up.

Putting them together with this tunic, which I actually got for my mom for Christmas a few years ago after she liked the exact same one I had (becept in a sand color), and then she gave it back to me because she never wore it (HMMMPFH), I realized the two pieces were MADE for each other. Like peas and carrots (blech). Like peanut butter and jelly (delicious, unless it is in "Goober" brand form, which DISGUSTS me for some reason). Like Fruit Loops and Hershey's syrup (don't knock it until you've tried it).

I like how the slightly Morroccan pattern in the shorts goes with the silver sequin paisley on the tunic, and come on, that peacock color? What was I thinking buying myself SAND, when I could've gotten PEACOCK. It's peacockulous.

And, and, annnnnd I thought the neutral pumps made it more work appropriate, though my flat sandals could work too.

Okay, I am completely distracted now because I just read about a HUGE MULTI-FAMILY GARAGE SALE on Craigslist that apparently has everything I have ever needed in my life. I've got to GO so I can get my chillrun's fed and get sale-ing. 

Tunic: T.J. Maxx, eons ago
Shorts: The Limited
Earrlings: F21
Shoes: Steve Madden

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Wednesday, August 24, 2011


Wanna hear something cute? Imagine if you will I'm actually wearing today what I'm describing. Which as you're reading this, I actually wore yesterday, but won't post here until tomorrow. Clear as mud? Grand. PROCEED.
When the boys got up this morning they both said, "I like mommy's parkly jacket." (I'm wearing my black sequin jacket). And, and, annnnd Gavin has started doing this thing where he goes in our room (when we let him) and says, "Mommy's room is NITHE," and then he lays on the bed and kind of makes snow angels in the duvet and says "Mommy's bed is NITHE."
I need to remember to think about those things when they are getting out of bed every morning at 6 frigging 15 a.m.

Jacket: The Limited
Tank: Sears
Pants: Zara
Shoes: Vince Camuto
Necklaces: Thrifted, F21

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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

WWD: Random Letters

Dear Guy At the Grocery Store:

If, by turning completely around in line to stare at me as we went through check out, you were attempting to a) give the 12 items or less check out a completely new meaning and 2) completely skeeve me out, then WELL DONE. Mission accomplished, sir.

Freaked Out in Fresno

Dear Lady in Line at Subway:
Have you NEVER been to a Subway? They're all the same. You pick your meat, you pick your bread, you pick your cheese, you pick your toppings. This is not "Fancy Buffalo Chicken Sandwich with Blue Cheese Dressing" Restaurant, it's SUB-FRIGGING-WAY. There is no Blue Cheese Dressing on it, and there is no need for you to be an asshat to the probably-minimum-wage-earning employee behind the counter when they ask what dressing you would like. There is no need to say, after it has already been established that they do NOT, in fact, have blue cheese dressing, "Well, unless you have BLUE CHEESE DRESSING, then I don't WANT any dressing, since BLUE CHEESE DRESSING is what goes on a buffalo chicken sandwich." And you were with what I assume to be your daughter? Nice example, lady. Now get your frigging buffalo chicken sandwich sans dressing and hit the bricks.

Irritated in Idaho

Dear People Who Share the Restroom at Work:
When you are throwing your used paper towel in the trash can and you miss it, PICK IT THE EFF UP. Also? If you use up the toilet paper, here's a thought - PUT A NEW ROLL ON. See how that works?
Persnikety in Poughkeepsie

Dear Dude Who Flipped Me Off On the Highway This Weekend:
Though I am flattered at the assumption, and am very skilled in many others areas, I am not, in fact, a mind-reader OR a psychic. As such, I had no idea from your lack of indication that you did in fact wish to merge from your lane into mine. The bird you flipped was quite effective in communicating your message, and I SALUTE YOU right back.

Flipped in Fargo

Dear Tina Fey,
I am currently listening to your audiobook, and have learned three things: a) it is one of the funniest frigging books ever, 2) I fear other drivers may think I am a bit crazy from the amount of laughing and knee-slapping I am doing whilst in the car, and c) I am PRETTY sure that you, Amy Poehler, Kristin Wiig and I would make an excellent BFFs-Forever Band if we were to join forces. Come ON - a slightly middle-aged revamp of Josie and the Pussycats? That has success written all OVER it. Just think about it. Oh, and one more thing? Don Fey sounds BAD ASS.
Slightly Stalkery in Seattle

Speaking of Amy Poehler, enjoy:

Dress: J Crew via eBay
Shoes: Jessica Simpson
Necklace: Kenneth Jay Lane, gift from Amy Bo Bamy
Bracelets: F21
Earrings: ???
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