Monday, June 6, 2011

WWD: Never Look a Gift Horse in the Barstool

A few weeks ago my mom and I had the following conversation: 
Mom: Shannan, I just found three barstools at a garage sale and was wondering if you wanted them.
Me: What do they look like?
Mom: Two are wrought iron and one is bla...
Me: No, I don't want non-matching barstools, and I really don't want wrought iron.
Mom: WHY NOT? (Defensively)
Me: Because I think wrought iron is uncomfortable, and I would like three that match.
Mom: Well, I thought I'd get them for you. For your birthday.
Me: No thank you.

Fast forward to this weekend, and another conversation.
Mom: Shannan, I was at a garage sale, and they have a bed with mattress and box springs and I thought if you liked it I would get it for Scarlett for your birthday. Do you want to go look at it?
Me: Ummmm...welll....
Mom: You can think about it and let me know.

Mom: Well, did you want to go look at that bed?
Me: Welllll, not really. You were going to get me a bed for Scarlett for my birthday?
Mom: Yes.
Me: You don't have to get me anything for my birthday, mom.
Mom: SO YOU DON'T WANT IT? (Defensively)
Me: No, I really don't want a bed for Scarlett for my birthday.
Me: I just told you that you didn't have to 30 seconds ago!

RAWR!!!! This is how it has been my whole life. My mom, who let me state for the record has been a complete lifesaver where The Trips are concerned - like, we would not have been able to function without having had her help these past 3 years - has never been the best gift giver. It is like she feels obligated to buy a gift, but doesn't really want to, so she passive aggressively buys not what she thinks the person might want, but whatever is cheapest and easiest for her. 

Don't even get me started on gift registries or wish lists, either. When I was a kid I was a total bookworm, and walked around with my face in a book all the time, even bringing them to the dinner table. I think I asked for books each birthday, and my mom would always respond the same way "You can get those for free at the library." It's not that I don't love the library - I do, and always have, but come ON. Throw me a frickin bone. Or that latest Judy Blume, mom. When I started making my own money, I spent SO MUCH of it on books. I was like a crazy person with it. The funny thing is, almost every day recently she has brought over STACKS of books for The Trips that she has picked up at garage sales - really cool books that they love, so maybe she's making up for the lack of books that I had with my kids. Whatevs - it's all good.

And gift registries? Fuggedaboutit. It's like she is almost personally offended when having to go to a shower and someone has a registry. She WILL NOT get a gift from a registry, and instead just goes and gets whatever is easiest for her, screw whether or not the person wants it. A lot of my extended family is this way too, so maybe it's just a thing with them. I have tried to have the conversation with her that if someone is getting married, just starting out, or having a baby, they have painstakingly gone through and picked out items that they need. Uh uh, she's having none of it.

I don't need my mom to get me anything for my birthday. If there is something I want, I typically get it myself. If you are a reader of this blog for any length of time, you know that I am not above garage sale-ing or thrifting, but if you want to get my gift at either place, would you at least put a little thought into it and pick something I might actually LIKE/NEED/WANT/USE? I know, it's a crazy concept. Oh well, at least I have that Santa Claus teddy bear pot-holder to look forward to at Christmas this year. She just picked that one up the other day when we were out together. I WISH I were joking about that.

Happy birthday to meeeeee!!!!!

Dress: Old Navy
Shoes: Thrifted
Necklace: Vintage, mom's
Bracelet: Charming Charlie's
Earrings: World Market
Belt: Target



406 Olivia said...

Aww...hopefully the hubs gives you a well thought out, perfect-for-you gift. Parents are muy loco, no? My mom seldom even calls me on my birthday (and we are NOT estranged) and my pops called me yesterday to announce his plans to marry a woman from Russian he's never met. And, I, my love, wish I was joking about that.
Much loves, kisses and spankin's on your very special day.


Paula said...

Ha, I am right there with ya sister! Mine is the same type of gift giver despite the comments, pleas, remarks, etc. She used to give me candles/soaps that she loved, aka, old lady smelly stuff as random gifts/presents. The boys thought it was funny until I re-gifted it to them. The soaps made it full circle back to mom for her birthday... and she couldn't understand WHY we gave her such smelly shit for her b-day. she took the kids in lieu of a gift this year. much better.

Anyways, happy, happy birthday fellow Gemini!!! Hope you have an amazing day!

oomph. said...

happy birthday!!! i think we all have one of "those" in the family, that just can't get it right. i'm sure the have the best intentions, though :) love the shoes. can't seem to get away from my heels, but i've been wanting to get some oxfords for a while.

Melanie said...

This is hilarious...I seriously hope you don't have to open up 3 mismatched barstools :) I hope you have had a fantastic birthday! xoxo