Monday, May 9, 2011

WWD: Housewifery

Hear ye! Hear ye! Lords and Ladies of the Real Housewifery - does thee not thinketh thy public shall find out thine alleged duplicity as told to us here and here? And doest thou....oh hells bells, I can't continue in a fake Shakespearean (fakespearean?) accent. Let's get to it.

Is it wise, Peggy Of The Plastic, to brag "Soccer moms drive mini-vans, but I drive a Bentley?" when you are about to go into foreclosure?
And do we REALLY believe she is 41?

For Gawd's sake - I'M 41 - please tell me I look younger than that.

And do Vicky and Tamara really think they don't just look like jealous old ladies when they are bagging on these two?

And is anyone else SKEEVED BEYOND BELIEF when they see this guy?

Sweet Wind Cries Mary that is SCURRY.

Surrsly - there is something wrong with anyone who can make Slade Smiley look like Prince Charming.
I don't know if ya'll are sucked into the Housewives like I am, but if you are, and like a good recap now and then, well don't expect it here, but you CAN read fabulous recaps from my homegirl Brass Tacks and Silver Charms, or for the male point of view, the equally fabulous Richard Lawson at Gawker.
Now get thee hence! Go forth and Housewife!
Shirt: Target
Pants: Hudson, via clothing swap
Shoes: Steve Madden
Jewelry: F21, Charming Charlie's


Mrs. Kat said...

I just want to smack Alexis when she starts talking about obeying her husband b/c its in the bible. My husband walked in when I was watching that scene and even he thought it was ridic.

And poor Don. I love my homegirl Vicki, but give Don a break already!!


ME ME ME! I am officially "sucked" into the Housewives franchise. Okay, first of all...Jim is just gross! With a capital G...and Alexis is not far behind. Why do they all look so a androgynous? The only way they know how to be pretty is a)be blonde b)have huge t**s c)show off said t**s in EVERY outfit d)be orange..I mean tan e)inject anything into something WAY too often! Now I sound like a hater, but all of these things at once is too much for my down to earth self!!

Whew, I need a nap now!


Brassy said...

I kind of like Jim Bellino this season.

BAH HA HA HA! Gotcha gurl. I've been saving an UBER sleazy picture of the two of them (hint: it involves a lollypop) for a rainy day...but I'm going to upload that nasty junk just for you. ThankyouThankyouThankyou for ANOTHER shout out! You are funny and I will trade you my first born daughter's dowry for that necklace...and the made style you have to wear it so well.

And by the way: Peggy is on brink of foreclosure too. Good for her, really stepping up to the plate her rookie year. Only two more episodes of OC...and then the REUNION. And THEN...New Jersey. I scurred.

Mwah! back at you groovy lady!

(oh and btw, my verification word for this comment is: sadist. Is there anything you can do about that? Talk to management for me? Hm?)

oomph. said...

i'm so behind...i was totally in the housewives. they've all got ridiculously irritating's no wonder we can't get enough. this is my absoulte FAVE outfit of yours. i love the color of the shirt with white denim (hudson, one of my faves!)...and turquoise accents! LOVE.

Linda said...

You are not 41. I don't believe you.

Flor de Maria Fashion said...

hahaha I am addicted to the real housewives too, lol! My favorite is NYC and Orange county! On another note, you look FAB, love all your jewelry - AMAZING!!!!! Thank you for stopping by my blog you have a new follower :-)


www {dot} danielleceleste {dot} me said...

I don't watch tv, Shannon, but you make it all too funny.

MerciBlahBlah said...

Mrs. Kat - I am witchooo on Alexis, but we will have to part ways on Vicky. Can't stand her. I loves me some Donn Gunvalson though.

Amy - I have no idea, you're right though. It's like if you are on a reality show in Southern California, you must be blond and big titted.

Brass - thank GOD you were joking. I was starting to rethink my adoration of you. Shwew!!!

Oomph - Awww, thank you girl!

Linda - I love you. The end.

Flor - YAY - glad you enjoy the old blog, and I agree, OC and NYC are my faves too.

Danielle - thank ye kindly, lady!


Taylor said...

I've been reading you for awhile and yet this is the first post I have felt compelled to comment on, go figure. I just thought you might find the TWoP (Television Without Pity) nickname for Jim amusing: Fat Fuck Taliban Jim. Sorry, always funny.

Also, not relevant to this particular post but I have really been intrigued by your tummy tuck saga. I have had two c-sections and have been promised a tummy tuck for my 35th birthday (a mere four years and three months from now) so seeing it from a real person's perspective has been enlightening! (Still want it done.)

And AND your post about the boys pooping in the sink cracked me up as I have a three year-old who is REFUSING to go in the potty for any amount of bribery. Oh, little boys.

Samantha Martinez said...

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