Wednesday, March 23, 2011

WWD: Meet Milton Waddams

No, not this guy:

This guy:

For some reason lately, Gavin has taken to talking like Milton Waddams from Office Space. If you are one of the three people who HAVEN'T seen the movie, talking like Milton Waddams is done in a very low, quiet, mumbly muttery voice, repeating everything I say a split second after I say it. I don't know why Lil G has started doing this, but it provides me entertainment on a daily basis, so I totally encourage it (not really - yes I do....)

It cracks me up the most when I am singing to the boys at night. Since Scarlett has her own room, The Hubs and I split up, and when he puts Scarlett to bed (the easy job, I can assure you), I rock the boys and sing a few songs to them. I may be singing Three Little Birds, but Gavin is Miltoning along with me.
No, not singing. What he is doing with his voice isn't moving it up and down in tune with the melody. It is MILTONING. His mumbly muttery voice. I PRAY that at least one of my kids gets the singing gene. Mama needs a new mansion in Brentwood.
Now if Gavin starts saying, "I believe you have my stapler," well, then we might have a problem.
Speaking of Mrs. Butterworth's syrup (I don't know about you, but I could strait up drink it outta the bottle), we were at the park last night, and I couldn't help but notice how like a singles bar it is there.
You had the creepy guy following you watching from the perimeter (aka the 3-year old hanging on the monkey bars until you notice that he has a look of terror on his face because he can't get down and his mother IS IN THE CAR, so you help him down and he starts crying and hugs you until his mom gets OUT OF THE CAR and comes over to help - but does SHE hug him? No. He keeps hugging YOU. WHAT UP WITH THAT? Who leaves their 3 year old to play by himself? And what 3 year old would rather hug a stranger than his own mom)?
So from then on creepy guy (aka Batman, because that is what he tells you his name is when you ask him) follows you around the park - which is fine because he is a sweetie pie, and his mom has gone back TO THE CAR because I guess she can't, you know, play with her kid, or at the very least make sure he is safe, but Batman hangs with you and your kids and asks you to adopt him (not really), but he does ask you to push him on the swing, which you can't do because you're already watching your OWN three kids who are not near the swings, but still, you feel bad about it, because even Batman needs a push on the swing now and then.
And later, you're near the monkey bars when a girl swings over and says (no lie), "So, do you come here often?" and then, "Do you live around here?", and then you expect her to offer to buy you a white wine spritzer, or at the very least a package of M&Ms from the vending machine (oh by the way, your OWN kids refer to this park as "The Num Num Park," because that's what they call M&Ms), and they know the machine is always there. Sigh. 
But back to Victoria (my new friend from the monkey bars), she tells me she is there by herself (she is 9) and that she walked there by herself and has three sisters and a brother, and she just needs a little SPACE, you know. A little time to herself where she can THINK (not really). She asks if the boys are twins, and I say no, they are triplets, and point out Scarlett, and she says, but are they twin triplets? Because the boys are identical, and I tell her the boys ARE identical and obviously Scarlett is not since she is a girl, and she nods knowingly, which is more than some adults who have actually asked me, "oh, they're two boys and a girl? they come in that combination?" But Victoria is jaded. She is a wise 9 year old. And she IS hopeful that we will run into her again there. And she likes Scarlett's shoes. And she is wearing some pretty dope shoes herself (hot pink glittery Chuck's), so I know she is a cool chick.
At that point, I tell Victoria it is time to get the Three Live Crew home and ready for beddy, so we exchange business cards and promise to meet up again for drinks sometime (that white wine spritzer for me, a juice box for her), and we load up the truck and move to Beverly. Wait, that is a different story altogether.
Shirt: Quicksilver
Jeans: Hudson, via clothing swap
Shoes: Vince Camuto
Necklaces: F21 and thrifted
Ring: Charming Charlie's
Earrings: F21


Linda said...

Oh my gosh! Hilarious! Seriously, who does leave their 3 year old on the playground by them self! I always tend to be that girl who is asking little kids (running around alone), "Where is your mommy?" Ha ha! Seems like parents just lose it and forget one or something. Drives me nuts!

Linda said...

Oh my gosh! Hilarious! Seriously, who does leave their 3 year old on the playground by them self! I always tend to be that girl who is asking little kids (running around alone), "Where is your mommy?" Ha ha! Seems like parents just lose it and forget one or something. Drives me nuts!

Jenny said...

LOVE this outfit, those shoes were an A+++ purchase! How come when I go to the park it's always such a bummer/stress-fest that we leave in tears (me and my kid)? Seriously. Sad but true.

StyleID said...

Thanks for post. I seriously visit your blog when I take a break from other things so that I have time to relax and read your posts, they are great and I laugh like crazy by myself!!
Well, not to mention your outfits are fantastic. I love the way you styled the shirt, jeans and those BEAUTIFUL, beautiful shoes. It looks 'super'.


First off, best. Movie. ever. And I am falling in some serious love with those necklaces...HELP!

This story makes me want to come to the park with you guys and chat it up with Victoria! Hilarious. xx

SGM said...

Hot winking outfit photos and your stories make me laugh. This is why I come here. Viva la Shanz!

Lula said...

Holy moly me oh my! Love this outfit. I'm a sucker for stripes and for big earrings, although I don't wear them as often as before!

oomph. said...

your park diaries is just too hilarious. lovin the stripes here...and those earrings are the perfect match.

Paula said...

who needs californication when you have hook-ups like these! ok, maybe i still need some hank moody, but keep these hot pink diaries coming! and love the outfit!