Thursday, March 17, 2011

Stuff We Do In Private + WWD

Good Lord have mercy, it has been WAAAY too long since we did a joint post here at MBB. We are happy to present to you "Stuff We Do In Private," aka - our e-mail from yesterday. Some of you may find portions of this repulsive, and some of you may, like Amy and I, find it slap your knee funny. This material may be inappropriate for children, small farm animals, smokers, non-smokers, and your grandma. If you are pregnant or nursing, please check with your doctor before continuing.

AMY: Dontcha kinda want to wear a maxi dress or skirt outfit every day now? I’m on a mission for more for sure. 

SHAN: I have two more in my closet that I need to configure for spring. It IS rather like wearing pajamas to work.

AMY:  Yay. You look cutes. I know. I need to play with two printed ones I have as well. Could not BE more comfortable. I just made up a new breakfast and it’s tasty. Brown rice cake, almond butter, smushed up banana and a pinch of salt. The end.
SHAN: DOH - that b-fast sounds GOOOD, Chandler Bing. Me to try.
AMY: Can you tell I am trying to write a Brown Rice Cake + (XXX) = Good If You Aren’t Eating Bread/Gluten Cookbook over hurr?  Brown rice cake + fakeamole (some avocado with a smidge of salsa and fresh cilantro) + roasted turkey = good. I will say it helps if you like rice cakes. 

SHAN: Maybe you can steal some ideas from Jerry Seinfeld's wife and then publish a cookbook. You've got a helluva start. I doooo like a lil rice cake now and then, as a matter of fact, just like I like a lil Brit-Brit now and then. Which I'm listening to now on my Jango station RIFE with Britney, Christina, JT, Rhianna and Pink.

AMY:  Tell me about it. I’m a pair of orange Crocs away from Mario Batali up in this piece. 
I love Brit. Xtina is a mess. Pink is hot. I think we know how I feel about JT.

SHAN: YAY - Funny Amy is back today!! Not that you're not always funny, but you have just been more Subdued Funny Amy lately.
Xtina - ugh. How often do you check Project Rungay? They have some pics of her up today. Sad. She is bloated and cheap and old looking. The thing is, when she wears minimal makeup, she looks SO much younger and really soft and pretty. She needs to let go of the harsh red lipstick and leave it to Gwen Stefani, who CAN pull it off.

AMY:   I’m trying. The sun is out. That helps. I have to bide my time until I can get into the Psych on the 31st.  The Psych who is THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS for the initial consult and TWO HUNDRED FIFTY DOLLARS an hour after that. That is not in any insurance network. I mean, REALLY!?!? Out of network will cover 40% of it but DANG…she spendy. I want to go to her though b/c my friend highly, highly recommends her and she’s helped walk my friend through similar stuff. 

I check PR a few times a week. She is sad. She needs some therapies and to quit hiding behind that makeup. 
SHAN:  Holy sh!t that is a lot of money, but it's great that you have such a high recommendation, espesh if it's from someone who has gone through a similar situation. And you're saying OON covers 40%? At least there's that! I am so glad you're going to talk to her.
AMY:   Yep. We’ll pay 60% of that.  I also bought a book on depression that should arrive today. Has practical steps to take that is highly recommended. Looking forward to reading it…which is saying a lot when I have a migraine all the live long day. Most is stuff that you already know but supposedly it is spelled out in such a practical way that it helps reinforce it and give you an action plan. 
Speaking of Englebert Humperdink, have you watched BL yet? I need to discuss.

SHAN:  Good for the book - isn't it amazing how having something spelled out for you, or talking to someone who successfully maneuvered through a similar situation is so helpful and reinforcing?  Yes to BL - discuss away!
AMY:  Yep, helps.
Okay, can we just agree that Marci is one of our fave BL people EVER? EVVVVVVERRRRRR? Not only is her daughter the most amazing of amazing, but she is awesome. Love.Her. And, until Irene had to vote last night, I thought she was a mute. Helen Keller says what? She might be the most under-featured BL player ever. Where is her heart-wrenching story? Did I miss something or what?

SHAN: I like Marci too, so I was shocked - SHOCKED I tell you - when I was reading on TV w/o Pity the number of people who LOATHE her. Think she's disingenuous and phony and blah blah blah. I disagree. I like her a lot, but hope Courtney wins it all. I totally thought the same thing about Irene last night. I think I like her, but know NOTHING about her. What up with that, BL producers? Wait - WHO is Vicky? Now I'm confused. Are you recapping Real Housewives of the OC too?

AMY: What the what’s happening? I find that hard to believe. Why would every single person in the house love her so much if she sucked? Vicki who? Come on, Irene. Oh I swear………… WHO IS VICKY???  Duh Dun Dun……

SHAN:  Oh - THAT Vicky. I believe you meant Jacka$$ Vicky.
Two things:
I have a pimple the size of Pluto on the very tip of my nose. You cannot see it except for it being slightly red, but I swear if I brush a Kleenex against it, it makes tears spring to my eyes and I want to punch babies. Jesus take the wheel, I AM 41 - what is happening to my skin?!!!
Thing 2:
I had a baby out my butt this morning. At least, it was the size of a baby.
AMY: Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me. I live in a world where the Biggest Loser contestants of lore need no formal introduction. Come along for the ride.

Agony. My little nostril arch thingy has been cracked and in pain for weeks now. I never noticed how much PBI kisses my nose or takes his finger and goes “boop” on the tip until these past few weeks. I dodge him like he all coming at me with a pimp hand now.
Stop bragging. It’s not nice. If that is how this game goes, I gave premature birth to a Dippin’ Dot this morning.
Shirt: JCP
Pants: Hudson, Clothing Swap
Shoes: la la la la laaaaa
Necklaces: Urban Outfitters, mom's vintage
Ring: Rachel Roy

Jacket: Vintage resale
Necklace: Vintage resale
Rings: F21
Bracelets: Resale
Jeans: INC Macys
Tunic: F21

Shan and Ames


StyleID said...

I am adoring your 'indian' like earrings. great accessories, fun, colorful.

Bekah: Matters of Merrymaking said...

okay this way awesome-- i loved the banter.
my favorite part was the threat to punch babies.
i love the outfit posts! i can't wait to read more in the future!

matters of merrymaking


yet another entertaining crack me up! And um...please send me you ring STAT!

Carly said...

I am pretty sure I just peed a little from laughing SO hard.
The comment about the pimple...I DIE.
I can't take it.
Completely relating to the pain of a brutal pimple. Age 31.

406 Olivia said...

H-I-larious. Even more so than usual. I love pretty smart girls who who poop and fart and don't pretend to be perfect.


P.S. Shan--I know you'll appreciate this: my word verification is in, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the bustiest of them all..."

MerciBlahBlah said...

Style - Thank you! Those babies were el cheapo at F21 a few weeks ago. Mayhaps they still have them???

Bekah - Glad you liked it! We will do our best to banter more often.

Nicole - I PROMISE to send you that ring just as soon as I get your Moroccan maxi. And your shoes. And possibly some of your hats. And maybe your tutu.

Carly - it is my goal on this blog to make as many readers as possible spit on their keyboards OR pee whilst reading it, so thank YOU!

Olivia!!! Yay - I always love when you comment. Hope things are well in yo world, and we will, I'm sure, continue to talk about bodily functions much more than some people might feel is appropriate.


Danielle Celeste said...

I am laffing soooooo hard. I wish I could pull of this kind of stuff on my blog. I can' t believe I am finding you on the intraweb.