Monday, February 28, 2011

Red Carpet Recap: Oscars

I did not realize this, but apparently everyone invited to the Oscars was instructed to wear clothing in either neutrals or muted lavendar, black (duh), or red/orange. P.S. I'm PRETTY sure James Franco was stoned throughout the entire shooooow. Where, or where was Hugh Jackman? Huge WHAT???

Oooooh, one more thing before we get started. I read last night that Joan Rivers blasted Jennifer Aniston for whining about her life or some such nonsense (and is she REALLY whining, or are the tabloids just saying she is - I mean, I've never read anything she has said about Brangelina unless someone directly asks her a question), but I WISH that she would have read the following quote on GoFugYourself in the comments, and responded thusly: "And THEN, the next time someone asked her if she’s still hurt about Brad leaving her for Angie and not having thirty-five United Colors of Benetton babies already because she’s soooo ooooooold, she would be like, “Bitch, are we still TALKING about this? I MEAN DAMN! Move the f*** on! And can we wrap this up? My beer’s getting warm and I have an appointment for a drunken round of ‘Shoot, Screw, or Marry’ with Helen Mirren later. By which I mean the red carpet at the Oscars." TOUCHE...let's carry on, shall we?

Finally, a disclaimer: I fear that my post may not be as funny as I would like it to be because I am battling a forehead-zit of epic proportions. I feel like I need a shopping cart to carry that thing around. It is seriously hindering my ability to focus.
Okay, enough of that. How's about we start with the Nudies?

Gwyneth Paltrow in Calvin Klein: Oh Gwennie, Gwennie, Gwennie - I swooned over this dress. Deffo one of my faves of the night. The cut was so simple and chic, but the metallic beading took it to another level altogetha.
Halle Berry in Marchesa - does this woman EVER look bad? I mean, aside from that sheer from the knee down black dress at the Golden Globes? I love her hair short and messy like this, and she is just female perfection, as far as I'm concerned. And homegirl is FORTY FOUR????? DAYUM.
Hillarie Swank in Gucci - as much as I HATED HATED HATED her hair and makeup, I loved loved loved this dress. I mean, come ON - it's got feathers for the love of Wayland and Madam (google them if you don't know...)

Jessica Biel in Versace - Just saw this one this morning, and it may be my favorite favorite of the night. Mz. Biel if you're nasty can sometimes look a bit too broad through the shoulders, but even with the delicate straps, she looks a-frigging-mazing. I think I just peed myself.
Cate Blanchett in Givenchy - Like Tilda Swinton, Cate is a master at taking risks on the red carpet. Some pay off, some don't. This one, in my humble opinion, does. It's interesting, gorgeous, unique, and you definitely wouldn't see anyone else wearing it;
Mila Kunis in Elie Saab Haute Couture - When Mila first walked in at the pre-show, I shouted "Nip slip on the red carpet!!!" Cuz that's what those little lavender lace pasties (say that five times fast) looked like from a distance. Still, the dress is gorgeous. Love the nude lining, love her hair and makeup. My one question is - why in da HAIL is the woman behind her wearing LEGGINGS AND DRIVING MOCCASINS on the red carpet????!!!!! Is nothing sacred?
Michelle Williams in Chanel Haute Couture - Yes, I know it's Chanel Haute Couture. I still don't like it. I have grown weary of her style. It's a little too twee for me, and I always feel like she looks 15 years older than she actually is. I was shocked to read that she is only 30. Plus this falls into the "almost matches her skin tone" category, which I LOATHE.
On to Back In Black...

Helen Mirren in Vivian Westwood - As the boys on Project Rungay are wont to say, "Bow the f*** down, bitches." This woman is 65. God, please let me be Helen Mirren when I grow up.
Emma Roberts in Jenny Packham - Dress is bananas, if a wee bit too long, but me no like-a da hair or makeup. At ALL.

Heidi Klum in Julien MacDonald - HATE the hair and makeup, love the dress. There is a lot going on with it, but that shattered mirror on the top is delish.

And the coveted award for the "You weren't REALLY supposed to dress like the Black Swan" goes to...

Sharon Stone, bringing a dash of cray-cray and a dose of "the higher the hair, the closer to God."

Annnnnd now for the Crimson Tide of the Evening...

Jennifer Hudson in Atelier Versace - Jennifer's boobs ROCKED this dress, and I know it doesn't show it here, but she wore purple shoes with it that looked F-I-E-R-C-E. One of my top three of the night.
Anne Hathaway in Vintage Valentino Couture - one of EIGHT amazing dresses of the evening. I'll do a separate posty toasty later for those. Can I just say - VINTAGE????? Guh. I've already read people blasting her for matching her lips to her dress, but look at Sandra below. Who cares? It's a red lip people - it's classic. GET OVER IT. Her hair, makeup and wardrobe changes through the show were crazy bananas amazing. Rachel Zoe earned her dough last night!
Sandra Bullock in Vera Wang - looked lovely. I really loved the riff on a sweetheart neckline on this dress, and she was adorable and funny presenting her award. And also? FORTY-FRIGGING-SIX. Wow.
Selena Gomez in Dolce & Gabbana - Selena has Bieber fever fo shizzle. She is also adorable and age appropriate and poy-fect in hurr and makeup. And ANOTHER red lip. Huh....

Jennifer Lawrence in Calvin Klein - Listen, if I had Jennifer Lawrence's body, I would wear a Baywatch bathing suit to every event too. I just didn't feel like it was special enough for the red carpet at the Oscars. She looks like she was carved out of cream cheese, but seriously, from the waist up? Looks like she's at the beach.

And the "Oh Honey, NO" award goes to....

Scarlett Johanssen  in Dolce & Gabbana. Guh. Where do I begin? Her hair, which looks like it hasn't seen a good shampoo in a week? Her makeup, which is a little too club for me? That rainbow and cloud press-on tattoo on her arm? Or the dress, LORD HAVE MERCY, the dress. Bad, bad, bad. Just bad.
So who were YOUR faves of the night? I'm sure I missed some, so stay tuned for further Oscar posting this week. Happy Monday, ya'll!

WWD: Quick and Dirty

Here's a quickie weekend outfit running around post so I can get back to the important things in life. You know, like recapping the Oscars. Sorry for the sloppy photography.

Jacket: Charlotte Russe
Striped Shirt: Quicksilver
World's Skinniest Skinnies: Clothing Swap
Boots: Charlotte Russe


Sunday, February 27, 2011

Red Carpet Recap: Independent Spirit Awards

Happy Oscar Day!!

Thought I'd do a lil red carpet warm up before the big shooooow tonight, and when I came across these pics of the Independent Spirit Awards thought - eh, I can work with that. Let's get to it, shall we?

Kerry Washington: My favey fave. I'm not a biiiig floral fan, but I cannot tell you how much I love the mix of smaller and larger floralicious pattern on this. The leopard clutch and red pumps are purrrr-fection.

Jennifer Lawrence: If this is white cotton eyelet, it's my second fave of the night. If it's satin, David's Bridal called and is PISSED - return it IMMEDIATELY. Also, I can't quite see her shoes, but from what I can see they look like Birkenstocks. Let's try again, okay?
Eva Mendes: Okay, I lied - THIS is my second fave of the night. Dress and shoes are perfection, and her hair is glorious.
Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts: I wish I had a better photo of just her dress. It looks interesting, love the shoes with it, the bag looks appropriately funky, and I love the neckline on that halter. Her arm candy ain't bad either. I have had a soft spot for Liev ever since I first saw him in Walking and Talking. If you haven't seen that movie - DO IT. Not only is it an excellent chick flick (with excellent actress Catherine Keener), but the scene where Liev tries on black leather pants is worth seeing the whole movie for. He funny.
Why oh why doesn't Nicole Kidman wear really saturated colors on the red carpet anymore? I am sick to death of her in the "matches my skin tone and washes me completely out because I am also a blond - a BLOND!!!!" look for her. Thankfully she is back to her red hurr color, and  this dress looks smokin on her.
I saw a blogger compare a recent dress of Natalie Portman's to Mia Farrow in Rosemary's Baby, but I really think this one is a better comparison. It deffo has that 60s "please God don't let Satan be the father of my baby" vibe to it. Which I originally typed as "please God don't let Stan be the father of my baby" vibe, and which might be just as unfortunate, since she has been dating a fella named Benjamin Millipede. I kid. I'm a kidder. It's Benjamin Button. 
I can't say that I have ever seen Michelle Trachtenberg on anything OTHER than the red carpet, so I have to scratch my head, but I DO like this outfit. Those look like studded pumps, if I were to be honest with you, so if she took the last pair of Vince Camutos, I am going to be PISSED. 
And the coveted "Oh Honey, NO" award is a tie this year. It goes to....
Zoe Saldana: It's LEATHER and lace - not LEOPARD and lace. How embarrassing. Seriously, I usually like what she wears on the r.c. - she takes risks and typically they pay off. I am not loving this at all, though. If that dress were sans faux lace design? I would love it. I would prolly put a different clutch with it, and although I'm loving orange for spring, those shoes are a weeee bit too traffic-coney for me.
Melissa Leo: Go home, put on something that covers up the bird tat (something preferably NOT emerald green satin) and try again. Epic. Fail.


Friday, February 25, 2011

Stuff We Would Kiss On the Mouf: Kristen Wiig

I cannot stop watching this trailer. Seriously. This looks like the funniest effing movie ever. And I have to wait until MAY to see it???


FBFF: Blog Awards

So this is something new for FBFF. It launches the FBFF Blog Awards. Here's how it will work: anyone participating will nominate one blogger for each of the categories below and explain why they nominated them. We'll cull all the responses and then list the top five bloggers named in each category. Those finalists will then be opened up to a public vote over a couple weeks. 

1. Creative Juices - most creative: ...Love Maegan - girlfriend has a new feature where she asked readers to suggest different DIY projects which she then creates, along with step by step photos and instructions. So not only is she gorgeous with glorious hair, she also has, like mad DIY skillz. That sh!t ain't right.

2. The Real Deal - authenticity: Corks and Caftans: Not only is Carey gorgeous, intelligent, and on the list of the five best heads of hair on the interwebs (on MY list anyway), she is funny as hell. And real. She is one of my favorite reads, and the fact that she and her hubby refer to asparagus as "pee-pee stink sticks?" Well, that's just the icing on the cake.

3. Spark Notes - most helpful: I think Katy at ModlyChic has done an incredible job of spearheading FBFF and coming up with interesting, insightful questions for those of us participating each Friday.

4. Newbie - best blogger less than a year old: Hello, Monkeyface! Praise Jeebus I came across Monkey recently, because she has quickly become one of my favorites. Heee-larious, with gorgeous photography and a face that could stop a clock.

5. Can You Hear Me Now - most connected: This Free Bird. I don't know what kind of voodoo Carrie is doing over there at This Free Bird, but every time I'm there she has like 897 more followers than the previous day. Not that I'm comparing her numbers to mine. I'm just sayin, a lot of people love her, me included. Girlfriend not only has some SICK shoes, but she also has her Chef, who has provided me on numerous occasions with some deeee-lish meals, and not only that, but I actually got to meet them both in person whilst in Laguna in October, and they are both deeee-lish in person as well. And I mean that in a MUCH less pervy way than it sounds.

6. If I had a Hammer - best DIY: Depends on whether you're talking fashion or home DIY; if it's fashion, I would say A Pair and A Spare. Her DIY suggestions are pretty frigging amazing. If it's home, ugh - I don't know if I could decide between Three Men And a Lady and Better After. They are both unbelievable sources of inspiration.

7. Tribe Leader - blogger who leads others and brings bloggers together: I would say Jill at Good Life For Less. She organized The IT List, created Look Books, blogs at 100 Inspirations AND Good Tots. SHEESH Jill, slow down! You're making the rest of us look like slackers!!

8. Practically Perfect - most fashionable: The Glamourai. Hands down the pinnacle of fashion in the blogosphere. I am continually inspired by her.

9. Paint by Numbers - best beauty blogger: I don't feel like I can answer this one because I don't regularly read beauty blogs the way I do style/fashion.

10. Renaissance Woman - best all around blogger, fashion, beauty, lifestyle: I know she is a blogger superstar, but Emily from Cupcakes & Cashmere really does do it all: DIY, food, fashion, hair/makeup tutorials. I'm pretty sure she was also instrumental in bringing down the Berlin Wall.

So that's it, but I am also going to add a few of my favorite newer-to-me blo
ggers, just because not only are they gorgeous ladieth, they each make me laugh routinely, and I'm
pretty sure we would hit it off immediately if we were to meet in the flesh (again, meant that less pervy than it sounded):


Thursday, February 24, 2011


As in What Would Karen Do? Nope, not Karen Walker a la Will & Grace (that would be a different ensemble altogether), but Karen from one of my favorite shows, Californication, and whom I extolled the virtues of here, but where you can find even mo better virtues extolled here.

The major diff being that Karen would've rocked some 70s flares or at the very least, straight cut denim. Since I wore my flares yesterday, I thought I'd change it up with the skinnies today.
And also, I realize you're prolly already sick of seeing my J Simpson Dany's, but just deal, because not only is it supposed to frigging SNOW AGAIN this weekend, but once it gets warm for real, these babies will be oooot and abooot all the time. 
Or at least until I fall and break an ankle. 
Oh, hey - check THAT out - I threw a blazer in the mix. Cuz that's how Karen and I roll. 
We're cool like dat, cool like dat... 
Got the somewhat understated (for me) layered, organic looking jewelry like Karen might wear...

And that, my friends, is how you dress a Karen. Now all I need is David Duchovney to show up at my door with his sexaaaay five o'clock shadow and a flask of whiskey in his back pocket, and chill to some tunes:

This D-OPE music is Queens of Dogtown, from Californication. If that chick doesn't have the COOLEST voice I've ever heard, well, then, I'm the Queen of Merry Olde England.
Left-justified photo above that won't align? I will cut you if you try that again.

Blouse: JC Penny
Jeans: Clothing Swap 2011
Shoes: J Simpson Dany's
Bracelet: F21
Pink geode slice: Urban Outfitters
Scarab necklace: Garage sale
Horn necklace: Target
Ring: Local Boutique
Jacket: Clothing swap 2010
Belt: The Hubs
Earrings: ????


Etsy Schmetsy: jmorco

I am forever on the lookout for cool, unique, funky pieces to wear to the gym, if only because I get sick of wearing the same racerback tanks with a sweatshirt overandoverandover. Needless to say, I was stoked to come across jmorco on etsy this weekend. Not only are her items eco-friendly, made from new and recycled materials, they are functional and FUNKtional.
Was looking for something completely different (a kimono, if you MUST know), and came across this i heart kimono shrug.

Whisper twisted bamboo shrug? Badass zen chic. I would totally wear this over a tank to yoga, pilates, or hip hop.Shadow stripe constrast sleeves sports tunic. Lord knows I loves me an oversized, slouchy batwing. Adding some funky bright colors to the sleeves is just the icing on the cake.

'Nother version of the sports tunic. Second verse, same as the first. Yup, still dope.
Girlfriend also does sports bras, carry alls, and swim shorts, among other things. If you're looking for something different to wear to the gym, ch-ch-check her owwwwwt.