Monday, December 27, 2010

WWD: Lofty Ideals

I sit here looking out the window down my dark street, Christmas lights on the neighboring houses a festive runway. Think about the long weekend, the Trips' first REAL Christmas - one they had a tiny understanding of, listening to them talk about Sinta! Sinta! Sinta! on Christmas Eve when we laid them down to bed, watching them tear through presents the morning of, Scarlett opening one, then lifting her tiny finger next to her cheek and asking "One mo? One mo?" until everything had been opened, leaving the carnage of shredded paper and torn boxes strewn across our living room.

Watching Shrek The Halls with them for the 87th time, and Gavin always, ALWAYS covering his eyes on the part where Ginge tells the story of Santa gobbling up his girlfriend (the gingerbread girl).

Being simultaneously stir crazy from being in the house with them for several days straight yet falling in love with them more each day, being so frustrated when I tell them to stop doing something and they blatantly continue doing it, feeling my blood pressure rise, yet immediately running when I hear what I know to be a scream of pain after Simon and Gavin collide, chasing each other up and down the hallway, the back of Gavin's head catching Simon in his nose, and holding his tiny, hot sweaty little boy body, breathing in the salty shampoo and sweat scent from his head while he cries against me.

Wondering how I can be SO READY for them to go to bed at 7:30, yet have moments when I miss them, even from having been asleep only for 2 hours, that I want to go wake them.

Standing in my kitchen in the dark, looking out through the trees to the homes in the next subdivision that are lit with multi-colored lights that make me so content to be where I am in life at that moment.

Realizing that even with my very imperfect family, and the struggles I have had with my dad, that I am incredibly, immensely blessed with what I do have.

And I go to bed, fall into a deep peaceful sleep, waking only briefly when my husband climbs in beside me later, his body so cold against my own warm body, and we wrap together, warming and cooling each other, and breathe deeply, curling away from each other just before falling asleep again, and I am content in this.
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Sweat Jacket: Loft
Plaid Shirt: The Hubs' from Target
Pants: Marshall's
Boots: ZooShoo
Earrings: F21
Necklace: House of Harlow
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Merci,
Shannan

2 comments:

Linda said...

What a perfect description of your last few days. It gave me a glimpse into motherhood. What a wonderfully challenging time. :) Sounds like yours was great.
PS: You look super hot today.

Jenny said...

Awwww, so sweet. It was my little one's first Christmas where she understood what was going on too! It's so exciting to see how excited and mystified they are. Christmas really is for the kiddos! BTW, I'm wearing the hell out of my House of Harlow necklace like you have. Jeez, it just goes with everything and is one of my new "go to" pieces :o)