Monday, November 15, 2010

WWD: Cigarette Girl

Okay, I'm not REALLY a cigarette girl, I just felt like one of those old timey girls who sold cigarettes in their short sequin skirts and French Maid's bib. In fact, that title may be the least apropos I've had yet. I have only smoked a cigarette once in my life, and it was disgusting. I DID smoke a doobie once (tee hee...I think the word doobie is funny) but, while not disgusting, it didn't have the desired effect on me, but that could be because prior to smoking said doobage, I had drunk an entire bottle of wine by myself, so that after smoking, I promptly threw up. As far as the pukes go, howevs, it was not an entirely unpleasant experience. Huh, maybe the doob DID have some kind of effect on me after all.

I'm pretty unschooled in the fine art of illegal substances. I was the good girl in high school, don't drink, don't smoke, what do ya do....I was the band geek, okay? 'Nuff said. Didn't date (unless you count that one guy who took me to see Peter Pan and has since come out of the closet...) Didn't smoke, didn't drink, didn't sneak out of my window like SOME people (cough cough, Jen...), didn't throw parties while the 'rents were out of town where some of the guests spilled the dog's dish on the carpet and then dumped carpet cleaner on the wet carpet, which, strangely enough, stained it, and other guests, who sprayed whipped cream on the curtains, like SOME people (cough cough, Jen again...)

This is not to say that I didn't imbibe in my fair share of Bartles & James once I hit college (Key Lime was my drink of choice, and they called me Two Can Sam, since it only took two bottles of that nectar of the gods to get me good and RIPPED). The one time I actually drank THE ENTIRE FOUR PACK, I remember laying on the bathroom floor at a party moaning and looking exactly the same shade of green as my sweater, doing that, "God, please let me feel better and I promise that I'll NEVER do this again" prayer. You know the one. Where you press your cheek against the side of the toilet because it is soooooo nice and cold? Come ON - I KNOW I'm not the only one who has ever done that. A binge drinker I am not.

I AM, however, a binge shopper. I have GOT to stop. I know, I know - I've said it before, but it's true. My homegirl Natty Lite and I CLEANED. UP. at the Goodwill yesterday. Stay tuned this week for the spoils. Seriously. We plundered and pillaged. And you know how sometimes when you're trying things on even in the BEST of dressing rooms, you just feel disgusto? I must have had on the Magic Ensemble That Makes Everything I'm Trying On Look Magnificent, because even in the craptastic Goodwill dressing room, I was all - DAYUM - I look GOOD. Scored me a tan suede 70s-tastic jacket, a dark brown velvet Victorian rock chic jacket, a navy blue military jacket, a fuchsia with teeny tiny metallic stripes tunic, a DOPE black swingy halter with peacock feathers all over it, two belts, and a retro print maxi dress. I was NOT, howevs, the one who scored an almost pristine condition green leatha Dooney & Bourke purse for 8 dollah to make you hollah. Natty scored some mayjah goods too, and luckily this time we did NOT almost come to blows over it.

Thus concludes my story of Cigarettes, Booze, and Shopping. I hope you have learned something. I hope, more importantly, that you share your OWN tales of debauchery in the comments. This is a safe place.
Jacket: NY&Co
Striped shirt: JC Penny
Sequin skirt: F21
Shoes: Charlotte Russe
Earrings that keep falling out of my head: F21
Belt: I hab no ideer
I also thought I'd throw in a few pics of The Hubs and moi before we went to dinner S-a-tur-day NIGHT! MORE sequins for Shannan. I wonder if I will reach the point where an intervention is necessary....

Jacket: Macy's
Tee: Charlotte Russe
Jeans: Old Navy
Shoes: Charlotte Russe
Necklace: Local boutique
Earrings: F21
Happy Monday, ya'll.


Kelly said...

I am loving all the sequins and CRACKING UP over your drug/alcohol use confessions!! LOL
You and your hubby look so cute together!

406 Olivia said...

I am QUEER for all your sequins! Would it be too much to wear the skirt ad jacket together?

As for D&A, I have too much material to contribute...(I'm not proud).


Jenny said...

Adore the sequined skirt and jacket - I need more sequins in my life for sure! I was a band geek too, I have no D&A confessions at all. I was born old, what can I say :o)

Jen L said...

In defense of myself, First off I am a huge fan of the doobie and feel it should be legalized. 2nd I may have thrown huge parties in high school and snuck out of windows but I think you're forgetting a certain party during the summer when you were in "charge" while the parents were in Hawaii and you provided alcohol to your 14 year old sister and cousin. Humm. I did some shopping of my own today but couldn't get past all the beautiful 400euro boots-I did buy you a little Christmas present though...Two word hint: Rabbit Fur.