Tuesday, September 28, 2010

WWD: Something Strange Is Afoot At the Circle K*

The person who can name that quote will win a BRAND NEW CHRYSLER CORDOVAAAAAH! So I'm feeling very Out Of Africa in an S&M club today, in my new old thrifted Ann Taylor Loft dress. Yep, just read in the paper yesterday that a local Goodwill revamped and reopened this weekend, so I stopped by on my lunch hour yesterday and picked up this dress, another dress, and a Led Zeppelin tee. ROCK OUT WITH YOUR C@#K OUT! But what the hell does any of this have to do with your foot, Shannan? You're probably asking yourselves.

Well, I'll tell you. A week or so ago, I was putting some stuff up on my mantle and there were some teeeny tiny pieces of mercury glass that had broken off of some weird mercury glass ball thingies that I have, and one fell on the floor and I stepped on it. It has been in my foot since then, and LORD HAVE MERCY it has been killing me. Okay, maybe not really KILLING me, but it is very annoying.

I'm the first to admit I have tough feet. Like, when I get a pedicure, well, those ladies earn their money for the day. When they use the pumice, the room is thick with white clouds of feet dust. I marvel at people who have baby soft feet, as if they've never walked a day in their life without shoes, but then, I don't wear shoes unless I absolutely have to. I mean, when I'm in the house, I see no good reason why I should wear shoes. I'm getting off track here. Let's get back to me. Oh, wait - we WERE talking about me. Let's get back to my pain and suffering.

So I have been squeezing at this spot on the bottom of my foot (which happens to be on the ball of my foot, just where I'm putting all of my weight), trying to dig at it with tweezers, putting hydrogen peroxide on it to fizz it out, all to no avail. I have read some WACKY stuff about drawing out splinters, such as putting a slab of bacon on it (that is just a waste of perfectly good bacon if you ask me), putting a honey poultice on it, soaking a piece of bread in milk and putting that on it - surrsly - these are all real things that people have tried.

In the end, last night I just soaked it in warm water for 20 minutes or so, slapped a Dora band-aid on it, and I swear this morning it is healed. Or HEELED, if you will. BWAH. Ahhhh the magical healing powers of Dora The Explorer, Patron Saint of The Calloused Foot.
Wow - that was a long, boring story all about my foot. I am sorry Ames - I know how much you DETEST feet. Especially when they're MOIST (not only does Amy hate feet, she hates the word MOIST).
Let's just get to the deets, shall we? Shoes - el cheapos from ZooShoo that my sis got me, and they fell apart after I wore them twice. Still, I am a resourceful girl, and pulled out the Krazy Glue last night and went to work on them. We'll see how long they last today. I hope they do, cuz I am really liking them with this outfit. Never fear, howevs, I have a pair of backup shoesies to take to work just in case. Leopard print, IF YOU MUST KNOW.
Belt - Target (a few seasons ago - SORRY Olivia....); Necklace - vintage; Brathelet - F21; Rings - I have no ideer

So what wacky remedies have YOU tried that actually work? I need some to add to my arsenal. On a related note, what words do YOU detest? Me? Smegma. Blech. If you want to read something funny about words people hate, go here. You will laugh - I guarantee it.
*Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure


Amy said...

Hi! Just found your blog about a week ago and have read lots of it b/c you guys are HILARIOUS and have great style! Love the look of the dress with that belt and those shoes! I had to chime in today b/c I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who doesn't like some words, just b/c of the way they sound. LOL I don't like saying milk, cheese, toes, or panties. Eew, eew, eew. Don't even like to read them. If they were all in the same sentence, I think I'd die. Oh wait. I did put them in the same sentence! What did you make me do?! Aaagggghhhh!! :) Can't wait to read more of your awesome blog.

SGM said...

I raced over here to ding ding ding enter my answer as Bill and Ted. But then you answered, so let the record show that I did not cheat, and I knew it in the first place! I don't play around when it comes to 80s trivia.

I love your outfit like crazy hot bananas. It kills me that you don't work in fashion.

merciblahblah said...

Amy - thanks for joining the par-tay! Glad you like the blog, and in regards to words you hate, I am amazed at the amount of people who hate the word panties. Who knew?!

Emily - I KNEW you would know the answer. Crazy hot bananas sounds like a porn film title, and woman, if you want to hire me as your stylist, I'm all yours!


Rachel said...

hey! i'm (406)olivia's sister and i've been cracking up at your comments on her blog so i just had to come check out yours. it didn't disappoint! your outfit is darling! you're such a tiny hottie, i never would have guessed you have triplets! as for words i hate, i know there are lots and some really good ones too, but the only one that comes to mind right now is horny. i hate everything about it. bleh!

Destined For Now said...

That necklace is amazing! I could never pull it off, but you definitely own it.

My Owl Barn said...

I stumbled across your blog and couldn't help laughing reading some of the words people hate the most on the link you posted.

Btw, your necklace is gorgeous! Have a great day!

MerciBlahBlah said...

Yay! New readers! So glad you found us! Hope you enjoy it, and we will try to keep entertaining you.


406 Olivia said...

How did I miss this post? Ah well, tardy to the better is better than not at all.

I wondered what was the dealio with that belt when I couldn't find it at my Target. I thought maybe Target was holding out on me (like they tried to do with the CV for Target wedges).

And I will totally squash your blossom! Or at least I really wanna fight you for that necklace. But only on a day when you're not rocking your OTK boots.


Closet Confections said...

i LOVE the way you styled this dress with the belt, shoes and accessories. very chic!