Thursday, September 2, 2010

Will You Marry Me, Rachel Roy?

Dear Rachel,
I realize this is your resort wear collection, but DAYUM it is gorgealina, and I would wear ANY of these looks for fall.
Shan: Would you go out with me? Yes ____ No ____ I'm calling the cops now ____

Cazh orange pantalones, stripes deluxe and sequin cardi?
Shan: Let's brush each others hurr...
Rachel: I'm serious. I'm calling the cops any second.

Shan: Feathers????? How did you know? We were meant to be together.
Rachel: I have mace and I'm not afraid to use it.

Shan: Holy sh!tballs, those pants just made me wet my pants.
Rachel: You are sick and wrong.

Shan: Sequins! Sequins! Sequins!!!
Rachel: Leave! Me! Alone! Now!

Shan: Rachel - I don't know if you know this, but you can see your underwear right through that skirt.
Rachel: Ugh...

Shan: I mean, it's your UNDERWEAR, for Fruit of the Loom's sake! This one is muy better-o. I can't see your underwear at all. AND it's a cool sequin skirt and Panama hat. You KNOW how much I love a sequin skirt.
Rachel: Actually, I don't know you AT ALL.

Shan: Oooooh, VERY Mr. & Mrs. Smith. I love it. So, who are your biggest influences?
Rachel: You. You're influencing me to go into the Witness Protection Program.

Shan: Awwww, that's so sweet. I KNEW you loved me. Just a little. Are you SURE you don't want to braid my hair?
Rachel: You are delusional.

Shan: Wow - you must really like those hats. Did you get a deal on them at Hats R Us in the mall? Ooooh, let's go shopping. We can go to the T-Shirt Shoppe and have matching tee's made with BFF ironed on the back, and a picture of Magnum P.I. on the front....
Rachel: I don't...errrr....uhhhhh... arrrrggghhhh.....

Shan:...and then we can go get cookies from The Cookie Company, and head over to Gift Horse, and get matching shoelaces for our high-tops. Have you SEEN the cool red and white candy striped ones? I LOVE THOSE....
Shan: Rachel? Where did you go? Rachel??? RACHEL???? I Won't Be IGNORED, Rachel!!!!!
This dramatic interpretation brought to you courtesy of Rachel Roy, Starbucks, PopRocks and Pixie Stix (the breakfast of champions).