Emmy's Schmemmys Part One

Best. Opening. EVER.



I cannot believe I have NEVER watched Glee. Rest assured it is on my list to rent. Ohhhh how my inner choir/band geek LOVED this routine. Okay, let's get to it.
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The Award for Shannan's Favorite Dress goes tooooo...
Rose Byrne

I could do wivout the Bride of Frankenstein hurrdo, but for the love of Wilma from Buck Rogers and the 25th Century, this dress was fabulina. In fact, it is something that Wilma might have worn.

Ames: Yes, she is in my Fab Five as well. Shocking. The fit on that is as insane as her hair. But one is good crazy and one is bad. I'm already not making sense. Strap in.

And the award for Celebrity Who Most Randomly Reminds Me Of My Sister goes to:
Claire Danes

In looking back through these dresses again, this dress may be in a tie with The Wilma above for my favooooorite look of the night. Dreamy sparkleriffic column dress ith thooooo thwooooony.
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Ames: She really did look dreamy and effortless. Golf claps.

Thpeaking of thwoooooony, the coveted Homina Homina Award goes to:
Jon Hamm.

Ames: Oh, Don, you cad you. Wear that tux.

Durrrrr....

The award for the Project Runway Challenge to Craft a Dress Using Drink Umbrellas and Plastic Cups From a Party Store goes tooooooo:
January Jones!

Oh honey, no.

Ames: Girl was a mess. From her head to the bottom of her scales. From the Madonna cone bra to the, well, to all of it. I like none of it. None like.

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Now, the award for the Statement Necklace That Would Look Better With a Slouchy Tee:
Padma Lakshmi

I really dig Padma, and I actually love that necklathe, but not with this dress. Sorreeeeee. The truth hurts. I am, however, SO glad that Top Chef won best reality show, and thought it was pretty cute the way they all looked SO surprised when they took it from The Amazing Race - THANK GOD - does anyone even watch that frigging show????? How in the hell has it won all these years???!!!! P.S. Tom Colicchio? U R A fox. Call me....
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Ames: I concur on all accounts. I'm just sad that the Voltaggio brothers weren't there to accept the award on behalf of my eyes.

The award for One of the Cutest Long-Term Couples in H-wood goes to:

"Kev" Bacon (the Baconater) Kyra Sedgwick

Both adorbs, and this woman is 45? Come ON.
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Ames: See above. Does anyone watch her show? I thought not. Howevs, love them and she is always one I wait to see on the red carpet.

And now the award for WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING HERE???!!!@#$!#$!@#$

to Kate Gosselin

Nuff said.

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Ames: Shannan, SHE HAS TO MAKE MONEY FOR HER KIDS. Everything she does she does for them. Which, I think she stole from Bryan Adams but still. Seriously, though. She will never go away. I'd still rather see her than Jon though.
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The award for the I Think I Might Like this But I Need to See it From Another Angle Goes To:
Julie Benz

Like Rachel Zoe, I loves me a white moment on the red carpet, but I am withholding judgement on this number until I see a few more shots of it...

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Ames: I was totes counting all the "white moments" on the carpet last night. This was a good one. I still can't believe she is gone. Speaking of...Michael C. Hall should have won.

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The award for Cutest Dress That Completely Blends Into the Red Carpet goes to:
Jenna Fischer


Jenna looks TOTALLY adorable here - her hair is perfection, and I really do love this dress, but when I saw the thumbnail it was like she was the Cheshire Cat all up in da Emmy's - it was just a floating head with gorgeous hair

The Well, This Is Unfortunate award goes to:
Naya Rivera

Welcome to Crotchville - where we like our Wild Turkey straight up, and fashion bump-its out of used tires.

Ames: An unbelievably tragic use of that glorious color. Her hair was even trying to distance itself from it.