Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Stuff We Would Punch In The Mouf: Feet

Disclaimer: I apologize in advance to those that like this look below. Statements on MBB are personal opinion and other legally sound mumbo jumbo and not meant to offend anyone.

I love the warmer weather. The sun. The flowers. The sandals. Not love? The reappearance of what I consider to be really unnecessary: French Pedicures. I don't know what it is, but something about the FP is just so wrong to me. It grosses me out. It's like finger toes. The world does NOT need finger toes.

Then again, maybe I just have serious feet/toe issues. Case in point: A little peek into stuff we do in private via this email discussion betwixt and between the two of us yesterday. (We really DO work.)


Dear Toenail,
Why are you still black? For realz - it has been about 2 months now. Either clear up or fall off.
The Management

P.S. I don't even know why you are black to begin wif. Could you clue me in? Thanks.

Amy: OH HAIL NAH, I will not have a toenail discussion with you. I will throw up.

Shannan: It's a good thing I'm here by myself, because I'm laughing out loud now. And looking at my toenail and scratching my head.

Amy: I will cold block your email if this keeps up.

Shannan: did you at least READ my original message so that you can empathize with me?

Amy: Yes. I’d be more sorry if we could STOP TALKING ABOUT TOENAILS.

Shannan: you are making me cry with laughter. fine. hmmmmpfh.

have you heard cat power? I came across her on some blog I found this weekend. her song the greatest is uh-mazing.

Amy: I hope your mascara runs and you look like @ss.

I know PBI has some b/c in the car one day I was all “who dis?” and he was all “it’s THIS not dis” and I was all “oh shut it ivy league” and he was all “I’m gonna run this car off the road if you and your big 12 whore mouth talk to me like that again” and wait….none of this happened becept that first part to which he replied “cat power” and I was all “I likey” and he was all….okay, I’m done.

Annnnnnnd scene.

The end. Have a lovely day. I plan to as I'm getting a mani/pedi tonight in preparation for Florida tomorrow. How people touch feet for a living I do not know. I'm just glad they do because mama is due for some non-finger toe sandal action here.




Dawn said...

You made me pee a little bit, laughed so hard. You big 12 whore.