Monday, January 18, 2010

Red Carpet Recap: 2010 Critics' Choice Awards

Here's a lil recap of red carpet fashion at the 2010 Critics' Choice Awards. I decided to mix it up and include pics of the mens and the womens IN ONE POST. Shocking, isn't it? Feel free to add your own thoughts, Mr. Blackwellian style, in the comments if you want.

Jason Bateman, I hope to God that this look is for your role in a remake of Grizzly Adams, or possibly that you have replaced the current Geico caveman, because it is HIDING THE HAWTNESS. Come ON, bro, don't hide your bushel under a basket. You KNOW I have moved you to the number one slot on my Top Five Free Pass list. Can you do me a favor and stand a liiiiitle closer to your razor the next time you shave? Thank you.

Heather Graham: Wow - look at you! You usually wear some crazy get-ups that garner yourself a nod on the worst dressed lists, but damn if you didn't shut it down this time. And can I get a HOLLA for all the 39-year olds who look better than most 21-year olds? Yowsa.

(Jason Wu Spring 2010, Christian Louboutin shoes)
Zoe Saldana. I don't know who the hell you are, but you have apparently been knocking it out of the park, style wise, at every frigging event, and this is no exception. Killer shoes? Check. Adorably poufed bubble hem? Check check. Precious cap sleeves? Check. Glittery white fabric, which is impossible to see in this photo? I promise you, check. Go on with yo bad self. Whoever you are.

It's not that Tracy Morgan looks so great here, even though he DOES look nice. Sort of. That jacket is a weeee bit too shiny for my liking. More than anything, it's because I can hear him on 30 Rock, yelling out one of the following things:

"Uh oh, Ken...we may have fallen into the intellectual deep end here. And if you try to grab on to me, we'll both drown."


"That's the whole thing, K-Fed. Why don't the Catholics not eat meat on Fridays? Because the Pope owns Long John Silvers."


"I know it's a girl, Liz Lemon, because I yelled out 'Susan B. Anthony' at the moment of conception."

See, how could we NOT show you that picture????

Now Stanley Tucci look HOT, but he IS on my Unconventional Crush list, so of course I think that.

Saoirse Ronan: Wish I knew how to pronounce her name, wish I knew who she was wearing, and I REALLY wish she had different shoes on, but I loves that dress, and it is, in my humble opinion, demurely appropriate for a 15 year old girl. This particular recap brought to you by Geritol. EDIT: My Irish hubby says you prounouce the name "SHEER-suh." Of COURSE you do - it sounds just like it looks.?????!!!!!

Bradley Cooper: Homina homina. I just have one thing to say: Renee Zellweger? REALLLLYYY???!!!!

(Christian Dior Spring 2010)

Marian Cotillard: This isn't my favorite of Maid Marian's looks, but she still looks pretty glam nonetheless. I like the silhouette, but I think the Project Rungay boys said it best when they said: "This dress says 'My vagina is magic!' and who are we to disagree?"

(Georges Chakra Fall 2009, Diego Dolcini shoes)

Emily Blunt: My favorite look of the night, minus the shoes. I mean, I LIKE the shoes, just not with this dress. They are too heavy or too black or too wrappy or SOMETHING. I can't quite pin it down. The dress? Dreamy. Love the sheer neckline, the silver, and I DIE for that hem. Those fish-scale scallops? Buh-nanas. Brings to mind the dress Marian Cotillard wore to the Academy Awards when she won the oscar. Well played, Ms. Soon To Be John Krasowski (and could they BE any cuter as a couple???).