Friday, October 30, 2009

Open Post to Shan: Oh, great.

So tired of all this rain here and it’s Friday and I have the menses so I am rocking the pony and threw on a total Degeneres outfit with some black cazh pants, white tshirt that says “city of los angeles” on it with a skull and black rhinestones, a black jacket and chuck taylors this morning. Yeah, not thinking at ALL that the skull tee kinda looks like Halloween.

Now I’m so paranoid that it looks like I dressed up in a Holiday outfit. Not that anyone here cares but come ON….holiday outfits are ridiculous.

I think this is grounds to go home sick.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Stuff We Would Kiss On the Mouf: Fashion Inspiration

Just some images I lurve.


Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Oh Sure, NOW You Show Up.

Where were you when I needed you, Perfect Black Jumpsuit? I can tell you where you WEREN'T - you were NOT in my suitcase when I was packing for our trip to Laguna this summer. That's where. Thanks a lot, jerk.

Listen, don't make it worse on yourself by turning your back on me. Even if your back is low and sexy and all tied up. I am angry with you, Jumpsuit. LIVID. Do you hear me? I may make you wait for TWO WHOLE DAYS after you arrive at my doorstep to wear you, just so you know who's the boss. Let me tell you something - it's not Tony Danza. It's me. DEAL WITH IT.

The Management
(aka - Shan)

Eye Candy For the Feet...Errrrr, WHAT?????


Giuseppi Zanotti

Size 8, Size 8, Size 8, Size 8..................................

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Where's Waldo...Er...Amy?

Last night I had the pleasure of meeting Gina and Mel (aka "Bubbles") for some adult beverages, chow, and hard-hitting discussions on the merits of The Real Housewives franchise versus The Hills. I have vowed to at least DVR The Hills so that I may participate in some intelligent debate wiv these lovely ladies. However, I must admit that I was unable to DVR tonight, as it was loaded up with SYTYCD, Biggest Loser, Flipping Out, and Jay Leno (ONLY because Ewan McGregor was a guest), so alas, I have missed out on The Hills yet again. Please don't hold it against me, dawgs.

Ames, I apologize for not getting appropriate photo evidence of their adorable clothing, but this is only one more reason for you to get thee hence to our side of the state, so in the words of the inimitable Tim Gunn, "MAKE IT WORK."

Gina and Mel - I am also sorry that you could not see me today, as my second day hair is ALWAYS better than when it is freshly washed. Sigh. Just let me know when the next meeting of the KC Bloggers/Wino Convention is called to order. I'll be the one at the bar by myself. Waiting for two men. Stupid waitress.


Dude. I was right beside you the entire night. Seriously. How RUDE.


Kimmy Gibler aka Amy

For real though, so sad I couldn't just jet on over to KC to meet you ladies. Fear not though. It will happen. Oh, it WILL HAPPEN. And on that day, the angels will sing and the taxi will be called. Oh, what? Why I never.



My NEW Prayer

As I am spending more and more and more and mooooore time watching Nick, Jr., so much in fact that I lie awake at night singing the theme to Wonder Pets overandoverandover in my frigging head and cannot fall asleep because of it DAMMIT I hate that show SO MUCH I want to puke but that is neither here nor there so let's move on shall we....SHWEW! Anyhoo, whilst watching said Nick, Jr. this weekend, what came on between shows but a Bob Marley song that I had never heard, Three Little Birds. It was so sweet and uplifting and reminded me of my OWN three little birds that I couldn't NOT post it. Don't worry, be happy.

Three Little Birds, Bob Marley
Dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right!

Rise up this mornin,
Smiled with the risin sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin, (this is my message to you-ou-ou:)

Singin: dont worry bout a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: dont worry (dont worry) bout a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right!

Rise up this mornin,
Smiled with the risin sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin, this is my message to you-ou-ou:

Singin: dont worry about a thing, worry about a thing, oh!
Every little thing gonna be all right. dont worry!
Singin: dont worry about a thing - I wont worry!
cause every little thing gonna be all right.

Singin: dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right - I wont worry!
Singin: dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right.

Singin: dont worry about a thing, oh no!
cause every little thing gonna be all right!


Monday, October 26, 2009

An Open Post To Shan: Wish Me Luck

So while you and Gigi and Scout are oot and aboot in Kansas City having your womandate, I'm sitting here wondering how much my dental check up tomorrow is going to suck. Maybe I should be having wine now, too. I know, I know, it's just a check up to see how I'm healing, but for the love of solid food, I'm just now able to chew moderately well on that side of my mouth. Is he going to rip off the remaining nasty putty to see how I'm healing? Will it hurt? Will I be sore again for days? Will I be back to my oatmeal and slim fast diet? (Which, yes, 2.5 lbs lost is a total bonus because I'm a girl and will take stomach virus if I can drop a few on the quick.) Why isn't this like the Mrs. Marcia Dentist love affair? AT ALL. AT ALL. I mean, remember this email I sent you a week ago when you asked where I had been? (Shudder)

Yo, just got in about 40 minutes ago from what I am officially dubbing “The Worst Dental Visit Ever” and that is saying a lot.

Crown lengthening. Otherwise known as “Good Morning! We are going to cut away at your gums and oh, yeah, bone tissue, for an hour and a half on the very back upper tooth so you have to basically unhinge your jaw like an anaconda to get to it. And, if that wasn’t enough, wait, there’s more! If you like the taste of blood, you’re in luck! Why don’t we just let you swallow enough to make you wanna hurl and to make Dexter get wood? Done and done. But you’re not going home empty-handed. Nope, you get to go home with a wad of putty covering your incisions that tastes like assmatter. And, just so you’ll remember us, why don’t sit at your desk with an ice-pack on your jaw to keep the swelling down, thereby making working really interesting.”

Someone hold me.

Merci, Ames

Stuff We Would Kiss On the...Oh, Who Am I Kidding?

Seriously ya'll, I feel like I should be getting MORE excited with the PR recaps the closer we get to the end, but it is just the opposite. Challenge involving inspiration from a location? Great idea. However, in keeping with the craptastic judging and interpretations from the designers, it was more like a slow boat to China. The show is tap-dancing on my last nerve, for real, ya'll. Hey, these ya'lls are giving me an idea. Just for sh!ts and giggles, I'm going to write the rest of my recap in the voice of Britney Spears.

Amy: Oh no, I knew one day I’d wake to find that Shan has finally lost her mind. And for my recap of PR this time, I shall give it to you in the form of rhyme. Not really. Rhyme drives me inthane. And, actually, I may not get to this so am going to let Brit take it from here. Dry your salty tears, 29 followers. I’ll be back eventually.

The Winner: Irina. Again.

Ya'll, I loooove me some fox fur as much as K-Fed loves Little Debbie. For reals. Oh, wait - that isn't fox fur? It's FAUX fur? What's faux fur, ya'll??? I'm so confused. But for real, ya'll, I do love this. If it were MY "chillaxin in Aspen" wear though, I'd turn that sweater around. Seriously. I didn't pay good money for a ta-ta lift to hide them under a basket. I do love that giant flurpy turtleneck though, and even though the pants look a liiiiitle baggy on the model, they'd do in a pinch. Thumbs up, ya'll.

The Loser: Nicolas

Ya'll, I think the problem with this look is that that top needs to be SEE-THROUGH. It's tight enough, but you can't even see her belly button ring through that material! Come ON! Those pants are cute too, but I was in Greece for my world tour in 2000, and I would NEVER wear pants there unless they were made of genuine pleather.

SHOULD Have Won: Daryl Carol Hannah

Oh ya'll, I'm so sorry that my fellow southerner did not win this challenge. I love this dress more than Cheetos dipped in Cheez Whiz, but of course, if it were MY design I'd cut it off to just below hoo-ha level (sans underwear, duhhhh), add some fishnets and hooker platforms and call it a day.


Ya'll, I am so confused. Is her name JOR-dana or GOR-dana? I mean, it's spelled with a G, but sounds like it is spelled with a J. I just don't know. Anyway, the dress? It's cute and all, but if it were MINE, I'd have used this really cute, stretchy pink and black zebra print spandexy stuff I saw at JoAnn's the other day instead of grey. I mean, doesn't Jordana, or Gordana, or whatever, ALWAYS use grey? Why use grey when there are SO MANY neon-colored animal prints out there to use?


Ya'll, Logan is HAWT. Seriously. I wonder if he would make me a pair of shiny silver pants? Or just give me his? Maybe if I offer him a position as a back-up dancer? Okay, I'm getting off track, ya'll. His hotness is just...DISTRACTING. I bet that's why the judges keep him around each week. That, or maybe Michael Kors has spent one too many weeks in the tanning bed, and it is affecting his judgement. I know all about tanning bed accidents, ya'll. Okay, I'm getting off track here. This outfit is pretty cute and all, but I don't get the Mork & Mindy suspenders. I mean, if you're going to do them, go all out and use the rainbow ones, right? Those pants are ALMOST tight enough, but I'd take the scissors to that tank top, or just replace it with one I saw at Deb's last weekend at the Galleria. It was juuuust short enough to show off the 2-pack I have again.


Ya'll, this dude is like a cat with nine lives. He just keeps on livin. He's got the right length on that skirt, but I would've taken that annoying lining out of it. And the stupid white tank under the blue top? Ya'll, it needs to go. THEN you'd have a winning outfit.


Ya'll. I know I keep saying this, but I am so confused. Isn't this the same outfit that Althea makes each week? Except some weeks it has long pants and some it has shorts? She should've really mixed things up this week and thrown a feather boa in there. That would've been hotter than the jabanero pepper shooters at Chili's.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Fashion Icon Friday: Marion Cotillard

Do I really need to say anything about Marion Cotillard? She is pretty much flawless. She SO evokes Old Hollywood glamour:


but can also pull off more bohemian looks too:

(Nina Ricci)

I don't care what anyone else thought, I LOVED this gown.


I'm loving the funky long necklace with this dreamy dress.

This is SOOOOO ladies who lunch.


It's like we're sisters or something. I am ALWAYS standing around my garage in an evening gown on a makeshift workbench.

Love this next series of photos, and I have NO idea where they're from. Thank you, Google Image Search!

This one is my Favey Crockett. Love the 1970s Faye Dunaway-esque vibe going on .

Happy Friday!


Thursday, October 22, 2009

Stuff We Would Kiss On the Mouf: The Sartorialist

Just a few inspiration pics from The Sartorialist:

In London - so easy, so chic. I don't know if Ames will agree with me, but I think of the cities I have visited, women in London are the MOST chic. You just don't see people running around in sweats and tennis shoes - and you DEFINITELY don't see them running around in pajama pants, a giant tee-shirt and flip-flops. They are fabulous.

Ames: I concur*, with the * only because I have yet to go to Paris. Yet. Comprenez vous?

Again in London. I DIE for that clutch. And the shoes? Fuggedaboutit.

Ames: I love/hate her.

In Dublin. Love this vintagey blouse. I love this photo. So quiet, contemplative, maybe even a little melancholy. Geez - what am I? A judge on America's Next Top Model???? Speaking of which, Team Nicole all the way!!!!!

Ames: Why have we not done ANTM yet? Add to the list. Love Nicole. And country girl. And Rae (miss you). Actually think this season of shorties may have some of the most gorgeous girls yet. And that's not just because I am wee myself.

One of my verrrry favorite things is to mix patterns. I love it when someone does it well. Also love her Michael Kors-inspired DIY sleeveless men's coat.

Ames: Was thinking the other day that it's time to do Maegan's DIY tutorial on this. But only take it to a tailor to do. DIT, if you will. (Did you see her feather skirt yesterday? Swoon.)


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

My Prayer

Wow. Beautiful and amazing. I have been having a rough go of things with The Trips in the past few weeks, and this song just makes me cry. I have had days where I feel like I am a terrible mother, days where I don't think I can do it. Days where I think the easiest thing - the best thing for everyone - would be to just leave. I know this song is told from a father's point of view, but it is my prayer.

This Woman's Work, Maxwell
Pray to God you can cope
I stand outside
This woman's work
This woman's world
Oooh, it's hard on the man
Now his part is over
Now starts the craft of the father

I know you have a little life in you yet
I know you have a lot of strength left
I know you have a little life in you yet
I know you have a lot of strength left

I should be crying but I just can't let it show
I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking
All the things I should've said that I never said
All the things we should of done that we never did
All the things I should've given but I didn't

Oh darling make it go
Make it go away
Give them back to me
Give that little kiss
Give me your hand

I know you have a little life in you yet
I know you have a little strength left
I know you have a little life in you yet
I know you have a little strength left

I should be crying but I just can't let it show
I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking
Of all the things we should've said that were never said
All the things we should've done that we never did
All the things that you needed from me
All the things that that you wanted from me
All the things I should of given but I didn't

Oh darling make it go away
Just make it go away now


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

But, Honey, Look How Much I Saved!


Think that will fly with Pablo? Throw in a little "But said so!" ???


Amy Dear,
I am SURE PBI will buy that. While you're at it, can I interest either of you in some beach-front property in my neighborhood? It's priced to sell!


Thought I'd share a coupla recipes for some adult drinkie-poos that were in the paper this weekend, courtesy of Colin Cowie. I will be testing one or both of these out this weekend.

If you want to get your drink on with even MORE autumnal bacchanalia, click here.


Legend of the Fall

1  1/2 ounces rye whiskey
3/4 ounce green apple puree or apple juice
1/4 ounce dry vermouth
3/4 ounce fresh lemon juice
1/2 ounce simple syrup
Nutmeg for garnish
Shake all ingredients and strain into a cocktail glass. Grate nutmeg over top of cocktail for garnish.

Autumn Leaves

2 coin-size pieces fresh ginger
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1  1/2 ounces spicy rum
1  1/2 ounces fresh cider
1  1/2 ounces Jamaican ginger beer
Lime and green apple for garnish
Muddle the ginger and brown sugar. Add the rum and cider and shake. Strain over ice into a rocks glass and top with ginger beer. Garnish with lime wedge and green apple slice.
Gimme the last one in my mouth hole right now.
Mouf hole sounds DISGUSTING.
That is all.

Stuff We Do In Private: The Jerk

amy: lemme look at flights and figure out what we are doing to boston

me: aaaaiiiight what ARE you doing to Boston? inquiring minds want to know.

amy: talked about leaving sunday and make it a mini vacay to newport, RI on the front end and doing the hotel, tour the old mansions, newport thing

me: just give me plenty of notice so I have time to prepare the babies for your visit.

amy: (can't tell you b/c you'll tell boston) you better start now

me: I want to make sure they get their tantrums on when you're here okay

amy: i'm confident they are up for it

me: they're prepared
ohhhhh sweet wind cries mary, after Scarlett cried for THREE FRIGGING HOURS on Saturday night, I have no DOUBT they can get their tantrum on. little "Oooooooh, I don't WANNNNT to go to bed" jerk.

amy: seriously...does lying down hurt her?

me: no, but we did realize she has 2 new teefs coming in.

amy: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, teefs of doom time to bust out the chablis

me: yes, I guess molars will do that to a person
chablis for her or me?

amy: bof

me: cuz she's ....I mean I AM ...covered
speaking of tamales, I have a few things I will be putting in the MBB queue fo dis week. feel free to add as you see fit. or not

apparently it is just me here now
apparently I'm just talking to hear myself talk nice.
reeeeeealllll nice, Aaaaammmmy
jerk water
you're a 10 on the jerk-o-meter
jerk chicken
beef JERKy
stillllll waiting, Jerky McDouchbag ......sigh........
(5 minutes pass)

amy: sorry, on the phone I'M TRYING TO USE THE PHONE stupid certificate of insurance phone call

me: jerk of all trades
just thought of that one in the bafroom
oh brother, here we go again.
are you married to the Jerky Boys? Oh wait, you ARE the Jerky Boys.
I'm kind of losing my touch now, aren't I?

amy: you jumped the shark right after jerk of all trades
you had me until then now you're just be REDiculous
okee, have to find an answer for some dude about something I give two sh!ts about
later, dude will check the MBB at my convenience

me: let's do whatever Aaaaaammmy wants to do..... this IM is going STRAIGHT to MBB
(By the by, I don't really spell "ridiculous" like that. Just a huge pet peeve of mine that I like to call out when I can. Same with "definATEly"....makes me have the crazies when I read that. There, I feel better now. - Ames)

Monday, October 19, 2009

I. Die.

Stumbled across this cover on some website I found today. Brit Brit's song Toxic, as covered by French folk singer Yael Naim. Haunting.


Stuff We Would Kiss On the Mouf: FINALLY

Finally! A challenge worthy of Project Runway - the Bob Mackie/Christina Aguilera costume challenge. Alas, all was not as it should be. Where was the color? Where were the headdresses? Where was the juuuuust above pubic level skirt? There was sooooo much potential in this challenge, but unfortch, our group of designers did not step up. Not saying there weren't some tres cool looks among the bunch, but are you kidding me? EVERY FRIGGING ONE decided to do black, silver, or white??? I was SO waiting for someone to come out in the Bride of Heat Miser's wedding dress. Sigh....

Let's forge ahead, shall we?

Ames: I’m just glad this was not a Mariah Carey challenge. Although, on second thought, maybe it would have been good to see them propose she wear something other than a too tight and short mini-dress. What is it with her? Further, what is it with my obsessive disdain for her? I need to let it go.

The Winner: Daryl Carol Hannah

Shan: Daryl Carol is quickly moving into first place for me. She's so wee you could stick her in your pocket and carry her around like your very own teeeeeny tiny Fashion Plate come to life. I have to say, I really did love the dress that she created (but come ON - it's got feathers on it, for the love of Gavin MacLoud - why WOULDN'T I love it???), but as a stage costume? For Christine Aguilera? Who has to get her kick-ball-change on in it? Prolly not. Still, I'm glad the little lass won.

Amy: This recap brought to you by the letters “DURRRRRR.” Black sequins and feathers? Uh, durrrr. Love it. Love Daryl Carol, too. She’s adorable, talented and hasn’t annoyed me. Bonus points. I do think it’s more red carpet or standing still singing ballads and waving your arm up in the air to hit the High C, gimme a C, a bouncy C, but still…love it.

The Loser: Shirin

Shan: I have never been a Shirin fan, so I'm not really sad to see her go. However, am I the only one who has noticed that Heidi has a few choice "critiques" that she uses in each show? Last week's was brought to you by Oktoberfest, and this week's was courtesy of the Great Pumpkin Himself - Halloween! I'm not saying I even disagree with it, but I think Nina's comment that it looked like two different dresses sewn together was more on the money. Ah well...such is life in the pumpkin patch.

Amy: Now if we can just get rid of Nicolas and Irina all the whiny voices will be gone. I actually didn’t think this was that bad though. Great? No. The worst thing all season? Hail no. Call me holed up at home with the fever for days but it seems like one of those dresses to me that it someone else would done it, they would have loved.

Should Have Lost: Lady Marmalade...errrr....Christopher

Shan: First of all, Christina TOTALLY threw Christopher a bone when she saw his lip trembling, and those tears about to fall, when she gave him an E for Effort. I thought that was sweet. But girlfriend? Did you cut the top off of your prom dress and slap some booty shorts on? I believe you did. Thank you for playing, but that was a big fat fail. I can't believe he didn't get the boot.

Amy: I’m sad to say I may have to be done with Christopher. I’ve given him more chances than Mariah Carey has given NOT looking like a two-bit whor…oh, sorry, there I go again. I digress. Christopher, I like you but you’ve jumped the shark.


Shan: Wicked cool dress, loved the train, loved the way she plays with pattern and how she uses her fabrics. Don't know if it's dance appropriate, but an honorable effort, even if Althea does still irritate me.

Amy: Amazing how they all have the same budget and some make garbage (Christopher…looking at youuuuuu) and some make gorgeous. This is divine.


Shan: I didn't think this was soooo bad, though it was better wivout the fur shrug. Flintstone chic.

Amy: Not really that complicated or unique but still kind fun.


Shan: Though I would never be as bitchy about it as Heidi was, I had to agree that it was a good thing Gordana had immunity. This was like a really, really bad version of the tres cool "fish-scale" dress that Marion Cotillard wore to the Oscars last year? The year before? The spangly bodice made the model seem larger than she is. And the bewbie cups? Maybe they should have been lined with something to avoid a nasty eye-putting-out-incident.

Amy: Ditto.


Shan: Ice Capades, here we come! Seriously, I actually really liked this. I thought it was WAY better than his Ice Queen look a few eps ago. I could see C.A. wearing something like this, and thought it would've looked cool with her waaaay platinum hair and baby aspirin orange skin.

Amy: Hey look, Ice Queen V 2.0 actually looks the most stage costumey. Props for that. It’s hard for me to say this, but I really like it.


Shan: Irina, I am going to say it again: "You are not as pretty as you think you are." Seriously, something is wrong when Nicolas is starting to be LESS annoying than you. And if you are going to talk such smack about everyone, mayhaps you should think about making something a little less BORING.

Amy: Did she take a lingerie-inspired sketch from that one girl’s playbook that I can’t remember her name that got kicked off and I’m too lazy to look back at our recaps or Google but if I keep typing long enough it seems like it might be “Louise.” Is that right? I think it is. I feel better now. Oh, and Lena, if you are reading this – the show we couldn’t think of with Jim J. Bullock and Ted Knight was “Too Close For Comfort.” You’re welcome.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Open Permission Slip to Shan

Okay, Shan, since I'm on the East Coast (of Missouri) now you have permission to be Kansas City friends with GiGi. She's kind of fabulous. A lot. The KC blogger meet up was at La freaking Bodega for the love of flaming coffee. Yums.

Just don't get it twisted though and replace me and start every story with "And then Gigi said...." or I will revoke this permission slip.



Thank you for giving me permission to see someone else, especially as we are geographically undesirable to each other at this time in our lives. I am comfortable with an open relationship if you are.

Wait, wait, wait, NO I'M NOT. Forget I said anything.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Great Minds Think Alike

So I bought these ankle boots off eBay last week:

Thinking they were not EXACTLY what I wanted, but pretty close as far as the shape went. I was actually wanting something that had studs or chains or something equally amusing, but just din't find it, so I figured I would get these, and some cheap silver chains at F21, and wear them around the ankles. And then I hopped onto one of my fave-o fashion inspiration blogs the other day, and what did I see?

So, A) I am stoked that I had the same idea as the uh-maz-ing Mz. Kelly, (see more of her bananas wardrobe here and here), and 2) I realized that she was inspired by what she saw on the Lanvin spring 2010 runway:

I POYSONALLY prefer the look with ankle boots, but could also get used to the ideer of wearing said chains with some hot pumps too. I am also SO getting some funky tights to rock this fall as well. Loving that look.

Th-th-th-that's all for now, folks. Happy Friday!


GET OUTTA MY HEAD AND INTO MY CAR. Been meaning to ask you how long before we start wearing ankle chains inspired by Glamourai inspired by Lanvin but as I've felt like death warmed ovah the past few days I haven't been around much. And this...this? Well this just proves you are my brother from another mother. Or something.

Work it.