Stuff We Would Kiss On the Mouf: Moroccan Oil

Moroccan Oil is my new favorite product. LOVES this stuff. My hair dresser used it on me a few weeks ago, and my hair was silky soft for DAYS after (I am not a daily hair washer). Also, and I don't know how this works since you are rubbing an OIL onto your hair, but when I apply it just after getting out of the shower, it cuts my drying time down. That is heee-yuuuuuge. For real - it's one of the reasons - among the fact that my hair does better and looks better without daily washing - but with The Trips, I DO NOT HAVE TIME to wash everyday. I just don't, so sue me! On those days I slap on some extra deodorant and call it a day. KIDDING! I'm kidding! Of course I shower everyday - I just don't always wash me hair. I DO, howevah, throw this into my routine:

Oscar Blandi's Dry Shampoo, which I don't LOVE because of the smell and because the powder dulls shine and frankly, makes my hair look grey if you don't get every single bit brushed through.

I digress, howevaaaaah. Get thee hence to Amazon (because even with a referral discount at my salon, Amazon has Moroccan Oil WAY cheaper) and check it out.

Peeee to the Esssss:

Makers of Moroccan Oil - you may send my free product to me care of Merci Blah Blah. That is all. Merci!

Shannan

Shannan,

Eeeeeee! You know I'm all over hair products. Must order Oil of the Gods for me locks. In the meantime, I'll be over here smelling myself as I am addicted to this:

Seriously, the Guava Passion body butter from Sephora makes me glad to be a girl. A really delicious smelling and soft girl. My co-worker is all, "You smell GOOD!" when I wear it. I think that proves my point. Case closed.

That is all,

Ames

Uh-Maz-ing.

My favorite of last night's SYTYCD.





Merci!
Shan

Ames - would you like to weigh in?

Shan,

I will absolutely weigh in once I watch the show tonight. Had an impromptu charity meeting last night so want to save the whole episode for this eve. K, lovey?

I am sure it is amazing though. He is good. He realllll good. (And he has the teensiest little head ever.)

Love,
Ames

Shan,

Okay, I watched. I loved. I laughed. I cried. I give it 4 stars.

I will refrain from discussing who got the boot tonight in case you haven't watched it yet.

Love again,
Ames

Be Our Guest

I don't know Jeff, but when I read his entry as our first guest blogger, I was laughing out loud. Now, since I don't know Jeff, he does not know my number one rule, that is "do NOT make Shannan laugh out loud at her desk at work." Jeff - consider this your warning. Don't make me remind you again. So, dear readers (now 26 readers - WOOT!) consider this YOUR warning. Jeff = HILARIOUS. Enjoy.....

Merci!

Shannan

Hi. I'm Jeff. I'm lactose intolerant and allergic to soy. I know what you're thinking....how do I drink milk? I clearly can't have real milk because I can't digest milk sugar and I can't drink soy milk because of the whole swelling thing and rice milk is gross and expensive...well I don't. Milk is stupid. Milk was (and is) a bad idea.

What's that? That's not what you were thinking. Oh you were thinking that but you were first trying to figure out who I am? Got it. I'm Jeff, we already went over this. I used to work with Amy. On a scale of 1 to 10, I'm pretty effing awesome. I find myself hilarious (probably because I am, I'm a realist). I'm a pretty much a manly man. I do super manly things like watch SYTYCD and sing songs to my dog in which I just change the words to Puppy. Amy asked me to attempt to throw some funny your way every now and then.

What makes me qualified? Again, we've already been over this...I'm hilarious, please keep up. I'm also a fantastic story teller. I get a little long winded but I believe how animated I get out weighs that. I usually have fantastic stories because I make mind numbingly awful decisions which usually lead to some sort of hilarious adventure. I've pretty much decided that someone needs to follow me around with a camera all day everyday. There would be a lot of boring crap, but when they would get something it would be golden. Now then...what? Again with the questions? Yes I USED to work with Amy. I'm a structural engineer. Funny, smart, handsome, big jerk, I'm really the total package.

Thanks to this super duper economy I was laid off a little over a month ago. See I'm off to an eye watering hilarious start. So I worked with Amy for two years at a company that I actually enjoyed working for. When we had the first round of layoffs I came up with the fantastic idea that they couldn't lay me off if I was never there. If I ever thought they were coming over to my desk to lay me off I would grab my stuff and go on a site visit. That strategy led to this exchange with one of my bosses (in play format, oh yeah, by the way, I enjoy telling stories in play format):

Scene: MY DESK

LARRY walks up to MY DESK with a troubled look on his face. I begin to gather my site visit crap.

LARRY: Hey, Jeff, do you have.....

ME (interupting and packing): Actually Larry I'm on my way out the door. I've got a site visit.

LARRY (slightly confused): Ok, yeah, well do you have....

ME (interupting again): I'm actually running a little late. I don't really have time.

LARRY (slightly more confused): Ok, well I was just wondering if you have an email address for Pete over at Vessel.

ME (relieved): What? Oh, yeah! I totally have his email. I totally thought you were....aw nevermind.

Good times. Did I mention I was awkward? So when we thought the second round was coming the three principals had a big secret meeting on Monday. So on Tuesday I spent the whole morning out at site visits. Turns out we were a week early with our guess. Round Two came the following Tuesday. They were sneaky about it this time, too. The first round Grim Reaper was Larry. Round two Grim Reaper was John. It all played out like this...oh one more thing you need to know about me...I have trouble taking things seriously...ok back to the exchange.

Scene: MY DESK

I see John turn the corner by MY DESK like he's on a mission. I follow him out of the corner of my eye until he leave my peripheral.

ME (internally): Oh man, looks like John is on a mission to talk to J.R. Hopefully I don't have to listen to him be too much of an ass...Just then a hand falls on my shoulder. Not like a severed hand but a big wanna-be European hand.

ME: GODDAMMIT!!

JOHN (slightly statled): Hey, can we see you in the conference room for a sec.

ME: Goddammit, John. Seriously?

We begin to walk to the CONFERENCE ROOM.

JOHN: So you heard what's going on then, huh?

ME: No. No, John, I haven't. But I'm not fucking stupid either. I can figure it out pretty easily.

JOHN: Well, we can talk about it in the convference room.We walk past AMY AND MICHELLE'S DESKS and into the CONFERENCE ROOM. Neither one of them look at me. JOHN and I walk in and ALAN and LARRY are already sitting.

ME: Any of these seats ok?

ALAN: This one is fine. Well......I guess good morning.

ME: Really Alan? Really? I guess its good for at least the next 30 seconds.

ALAN: Alright. You clearly know what's happening. Today will be your last day.

ME: Fucking A, Alan....Goddammit.

So now I have a new job. At old job I got to wear jeans everyday, play ping pong, talk to people, and drink beer. At new job I have to do the whole business casual thing (which is stupid, either make me wear a suit and tie or let me wear whatever I wish including jeans), sit in near silence all day because there is nobody to talk to, and needless to say there is no beer and ping pong. Plus I barely have a desk and I sit directly in front of my boss. We might as well share a computer. I have a coner seat so there is a ton of wasted space in my area (including my seat, HI-OOOO!). Not only that but there is a register in the corner under the table. This register blows 40 degree air directly into my crotch. Needless to say it makes me a little chilly. Plus with my junk being in a meat freezer my sperm count is probably astronomical. I'm surprised I don't impregnate women just by walking by them, making little guns with my hands, pointing at their nether regions and saying POW! I don't even feel comfortable continuing the whole I'm Sterile Lie. I should just open a fertility clinic in my corner of the office.

That's all my time. If you made it this far, thanks for reading. Next time I'll fill you in on my Memorial Day Sunday/Monday adventure. I promise its a good one.

Hugs and rainbows,

Jeff

(Not really Jeff...)

Shan,

True Story: Since you don't know him I should tell you that I actually picked that clipart because that is shockingly a very close resemblence to Jeff. Slap some facial hair and a mumble mumble something Cajun mumble mumble voice on that super sperm and you have a dead ringer.

Thanks for the guest post, JAH. Oh how you are missed. The injustice of it all.

Love,

Ames

Dear Tuesday,

Please suck less.

If you won't do it for me, Tuesday, then do it for Shannan.

Merci!

Amy

(Hope you have a better day tomorrow, Peanut.)

.

Dear Tuesday,
What she said. If I quit crying, will you hold up your end of the bargain? I'm going to need a shopping cart to carry around these bags under my eyes. That is all.
Shan

.
P.S.
Thank you Ames.

.
P.S.S. Miss you Jen.

Like A Gazelle

Take one short girl at the Boston Logan Airport on her way home from vacation.

Add in one of these on the way tippy top shelf.


Mix with a display of these sitting next to short girl on tippy toes now attempting to catch falling magazine she is holding by the cover with all its stupid subscription postcards flying about while she tries to catch the whole lot of it and you have a near-miss incident of said girl narrowly avoiding hitting.....
HIM in the head with the flying debris. You DO manage however to adeptly knock off some of the displayed water though at his feet. You glance up and say "being short is HARD" and get the classic Michael Scottesque giggle/oooops/grin whilst he helps you pick up water though.

I'm nothing if not graceful. Like a gazelle. Told ya.


Love,

Ames

(I heart him.)

Perfection

Courtesy of the fabulous ultimate everyday fashion blog, The Sartorialist

Pretty Please?

Hugh Jackman (Huge WHAT?)

Gerard Butler

Colin Farrell

EDIT: Daniel Craig - HOW could I have forgotten to represent the British?????

Dear Hollywood,

Could someone PLEASE make a movie with these three gentlemen? That is all.

Merci!

The Management

(Shannan)

HOT POCKETS!

Some things are just never not funny.

Loves,

Merci Blah Blah

An Open Post To Shannan

Dear Shan,

We need to talk. I'm worried about you. Well I'm pre-worried about you. Are you going to be okay when I go on vacation for 5 days, Peanut? Am I going to come back from the coast to the East and find this blog full of tear-stained posts? Don't ruin your keyboard with the salty, salty tears of a clown.

Be strong. You can do this. Just do what you did lo those years ago before we met. NO, not drown your sorrows in Gin Rickeys and the company of strange men. Rather, you know, have intelligent conversations with people while laughing much less.

Someday we are going to have to figure out a way to work it where you and Natty Lite and G can come out and join us at Red Roof for the annual summer getaway. Someday when the Trips are in college and we're rocking caftans not so much for style points but because we're too old to work buttons and zippers.

Until then though I am excited to don my new button-fly boyfriend jeans, slouchy tee, paper weight cardigan and huge Flava Flav sized medallion necklace whilst sipping Sangria on the terrace...riiiiiight here.

Maybe I'll even have a Gin Rickey in your honor. (What is a Gin Rickey? I just think it sounds funny. It was that or a Sidecar, but when I started to type you and Sidecars in the company of strange men it sounded even more lewd than I intended.) Miss me already.

Loves,
Ames

Dear Amy,
In MY world, we don't drink Gin Rickeys. We drink Mad Dog 20/20 or Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill wine from the bottle. In MY world, we eat Funyons and wear Bugles on the tips of our fingers and pretend we just got a manicure. In MY world we change 96 poopy diapers a day and have become quite adept at hurdling all of the baby gates placed strateically through the house. In my world, happy hour has been replaced by the witching hour, when allll the babies in all the land revolt and scream more or less continuously until the adults give up and go to bed....er....put THEM to bed. In my world, we sneak off to the bathroom, not because we are making out with a strange man in the loo, but because if we don't three ankle-biters will attempt to climb onto our lap whilst mid-stream, and have YOU ever tried to pee while fending off three babies????, and WE CERTAINLY DO NOT GO ON VACATION FOR FIVE DAYS AT A STRETCH, for the love of Lincoln's mullet. You are a cruel, cruel woman, Miss "I Will Be Hanging Out With Flava Flav Whilst Sipping Sangria On The Terrace." I hope you can live with yourself while I'm stuck here in Poopville.

HMMMMMPFH!
Shannan

Just Because....

Honest Scrap Tag

Amy and I were double-tagged by our homegirl at A Townhouselady's Life for a round of "Honest Scrap!"By being tagged, we each have to list 10 truly honest things about ourselves, then tag some of you... and no judging Wivout further ado:

Shannan's Scrap:

1. I can speak in a better Irish accent than my hubby (who was born and raised there). Seriously. It's a gift - don't hate. Appreciate.



2. I have a cake named after me. When we got married I asked the person making our cake if she made pink champagne cake. She didn't, but found a recipe and named it after me: Shannan's Pink Champagne Cake. It was scrumptious. Mmmmmm - caaaaaake. I heart cake.



3. I spent 2.5 months in the hospital on bedrest before giving birth to triplets. It was one of the two hardest things I have ever done - probably even harder than the giving of the birth. There were horrible days of feeling sorry for myself, crying for days on end, going stir crazy, feeling like it was never going to end - it was hell. Still, the end result was the best thing ever. Our three peanuts are like having Christmas every day.



4. Unless you are Bob Harper or Jillian Michaels, don't talk to me at when I am working out. I am not in the gym to blab, Chatty Cathy, I'm there to do my thang and go. If I'm on the elliptical or the treadmill, don't even think of striking up a conversation. If you have a magazine, your cell phone, and are trying to talk to me, you are not working out hard enough. Also, is it REALLY necessary to sing along to your ipod? Or even worse, to grunt loudly while you are lifting? Come on. You are clearly not training for the Mr. Universe competition, so “shhhhhh.” And the most annoying thing I ever heard in the gym? The dork who gave himself a pep talk as he was lifting. Dude, you look like Seth Rogan (not that there is anything wrong with Seth Rogan – I found him endearing in Superbad and The 40 Year Old Virgin – but I digress). Anyhoo, Annoying Seth Rogan Look Alike In The Gym, next time you're working out, here's a tip: just THINK those words in your head. It is not necessary to repeat: “You can DO this. You've NEVER lifted this much weight in your life, but you can DO it.” Seriously, you were lifting like 20 pounds. My grandma can bench that much. Repeat after me: Just think it in your head. Just think it in your head....



5. Sometimes, when Scarlett is upstairs throwing a hot fit because she does not want to nap, I stand downstairs and laugh, because girlfriend can THROW A FIT. However, sometimes, she sounds a little too much like Linda Blair in The Exorcist, and it is at those moments that I say a wee prayer. Just in case.



6. I have talked to a serial killer before. There was a man who used to own a booth at a flea market that my friends and I frequented in high school. We stopped in every once in a while to inquire about the masks and jewelry he had displayed, and he was a nice, polite man. When I was in college, he was arrested as a serial killer who tortured and killed several young gay men who lived in our community. His name was Bob Berdella.



7. When they tell you that Irish weddings last all night long, they are not kidding. Shannan could not hang with all the old Irish grannies, who were drinking and dancing and carrying on until 6 in the a.m. Shannan slunk off to bed at 2 a.m. Shannan is a lightweight.



8. I am still miffed about losing the spelling bee in the 6th grade. Damn you, silent letters! I never mis-spelled Ptarmigan again.



9. I love to cook, and am frankly baffled when people say they can't cook. Can you read? Then surely you can follow a recipe. It doesn't have to be a five-star Michelin rating meal, but seriously, home made spaghetti sauce isn't that hard.



10. The single event that has made me stronger in every way? Walking out of an abusive relationship. Though I would not wish to go through it ever again, it has made me the person I am today, and I am a pretty damn good person.

Amy's Scrap:

ONE

I either want to lose a lot of weight and get back in shape overnight or gain a bunch of weight so I can go on Biggest Loser and train with Jillian and Bob. AND truth be told, I'd probably have to pick Jillian because I'd just giggle like a schoolgirl and drool all the time if Bob was within 2 feet of me. Bob...turn straight and call me.

TWO

I don’t drive on the highway because I have panic attacks. Okay, sometimes I drive them. Right now (as in the last 3 years or so) I am in one of my non-highway driving stages though. The upside is I can tell you 357 ways to get somewhere as long as you don’t mind leaving 2 hours earlier than necessary. BONUS: You get more time to hang out with me.

THREE

I think I look way younger than almost 37. I know I act it and probably dress it. However, if you could convince me botox wouldn’t make me look weird then I would get a smidge at my smile lines before they actually turn into parentheses around my mouth. Everything I say isn’t really that parenthetical.

FOUR

Why can’t everyone love playing board games as much as I do? I am THAT girl that always wants to play board games. I may have even packed Catch Phrase in my purse a time or twelve when going over to someone's house juuuuuust in case they want to play with me. I may also be THAT girl that is not invited to parties very often.

FIVE

Paul and I can go an entire night without speaking in our actual voices or saying words the “right” way. Very mature.

SIX

To that, I married the funniest boy I know. Thanks Match.com! Yes, we met on the interwebs. Mad love to the interwebs as Shan and I met there, too. Have we told you about our first date? We both had a bad case of the nerves that fateful night at Brio. Thank you, Zinfandel for your calming juices. Since then I have either met in person or at least "met" online some of my fave peeps and I can't wait to meet them all in person one day.

SEVEN

If I could live inside a sweet potato I would. They are delicious.

EIGHT

My parents are getting divorced after 43 years and even though I've had some drama in my life (bad marriage at 21, miscarriage, mugged, other bad things that start with "m" apparently) it is by far the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. The whole thing started about 3 years ago and it is still hard every.single.day.

NINE

I super giant puffy heart Reality TV. I do. Guilty. Lock me up. Top Chef? Yep. Project Runway? Uh huh. The Bachelorette? Yes. The Biggest Loser? Affirmative. So You Think You Can Dance? Si. American Idol. I do. America's Next Top Model? Das me. Well, I'M not ANTM but you get the idea. I'm sure there are 87 more but in the interest of me being lazy, I'll stop.

TEN

I have pretty awesome hair 98% of the time. I'm sorry, it's true.

ELEVEN

I have weird phobias and fears and oddities/quirks. In this case, I hate even numbers. I set the alarm for an odd number. Set the microwave in odd numbers. End lists in odd numbers. Abruptly.

So now we are handed the task of passing this along to some of my new favorite bloggers. I'm going to hit up those that are new to me so I can get to know them better:

Celebrations At Home
Scout - A Mom's Guide to Stylish Living
Love Maegan
Scented Glossy Magazines

P.S.
If we tagged you, and you are thinking - OH GREAT, now I have to play along or I'm going to look like the D-bag who DIDN'T, but I have 897 things to accomplish on my list before 9 a.m., and who are these women ANYWAY who tagged me, DO NOT SWEAT IT. It's a friggin blog tag - it's not like you're refusing to donate a kidney to the only person in the world who is a match to you - it's just our self esteem and fragile mental states that you are EFFING AROUND WITH.

Merci!

Shan and Amy

Fashion Icon Friday: Atlantis Home

Live to you, direct from Dallas, comes our latest Fashion Icon Friday. Ames and I are both fans of Judy at Atlantis Home, and she is one of our daily blog stops. I personally love that she shows that women of all ages can be fab-you-lous, whether you are 22, 42, or 62 (NOT that Miz Judy is 62, or even 42 - I have no idea how old she is. Oh great - I hope I didn't just offend one of our featured icons. Crap....) And it doesn't just end with Judy - oh no - check out her fan-friggin-tastic daughter Jane's dope blog Sea of Shoes - another of our daily stops.

I love her mix of vintage eclectic avant garde clothing, and puh-leeeeze, don't even get me started on her collection of Christopher Ross belts.

Girlfriend also shares DIY tips, travel photos, and in general, makes me green with envy. Check the sartorial statement below - a lovely Matthew Williamson dress:

Don't EVEN get me started on the mix of vintage and YSL Tribute pumps she rocks here:Vintage chunky belt? Yes, please....
Please feast your eyes on the WICKED AWESOME Aldejandro jewels on her feets below. I think I just blacked out a minute...

Behold below - I give to you - The Coolest Friggin Outfit EVER:

Vintage Sequin Jacket, Topshop tee, and Pants So Avant Garde that Shannan Could Never Afford. I CAN, however, recreate the look - and fully intend to - with the $7 bargain I scored at Forever 21 this weekend. Can't WAAAAAIT.

Thank you, Miz Judy, for your inspiration and excellent wardrobe!!!

Stuff That Makes For Good Ear Candy: Erin McCarley

The other night I went to see Mat Kearney in concert. It.Was.Awesome. I think I have professed my love for him before...ring a bell? The live experience did not disappoint. There is always that fear that you are going to go see an artist you love in concert and end up jumping on stage to try and hug them and end doing that thing where the bouncer drags you away and you are kicking and crying and hold out your hands like a toddler who wants his mommy. Wait, wrong story. What I meant, was there is always that fear you are going to see an artist you love live and end up being disappointed by how they sound live. Not the case here my friends. Not even close. Mat rocked the casbah. He sounded flawless.

As did his opening act....Erin McCarley.

Back in the day (which was a Wednesday) I prided myself on knowing all of the up and coming artists. Kind of like Perez Hilton recommending music but without the inexplicable fascination with Lady Gaga. Well that was in college when I worked at a music store where we sold cassette singles and cds came in those long cardboard boxes. This is 20 years later. (OHMYHELL...20 years. Gulp.) So, it's now such a treat to find a new artist that you hadn't heard of and instantly fall in love. Thus the case with Erin McCarley.

I know some people (I'm looking at youuuuuuuuuuuu, Ed and Mike) think all female artists sound the same, and while there are certainly similarities in Erin and some of my other favorite female artists, the most obvious one is that they are all incredibly talented and can SANG. Girlfriend SANG on Monday night at the concert. I could have listened to her all night. Her songs are lyrically entertaining and instantly catchy. If you like things that don't suck, you will like Erin McCarley. I have a feeling we'll all be hearing more about EC (I call her that b/c we're tight now) in the near future. She good. She realllllllll good.

Check it out now. Funk Soul Brothaz.

Did I mention she is this ridiculously gorgeous combination of Natalie Maines, Kate Beckinsale and Evangeline Lilly and looks insanely cute in a hat? I know. Not even fair.

Ch-Ch-Check it Ouuuuut....

Get thee hence to our homegrrrrrl A Townhouselady's Life blog and register for her generous Lipstick Queen Poppy King giveaway, though I don't know why you'll bother, because I plan on winning it ALLLLL.

Bwwwwaaahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....

Merci!

Shan

Dear Shan,

WHOA THERE! I am winning the contest. Thanks for playing though.

Love,

Ames

The Ode to Cat Deeley is SO June 19, 2009

Get with it, In Style. I BELIEVE Ames and I extolled the virtues of Miz. Deeley here, for your viewing pleasure.
I do thank you, however, for posting the photo of this EHHH-HEHHHHH-HEXCELLENT vintage jumpsuit. So. Frigging. Awesome.

Cat - we STILL love you, and remember - WE loved you first. Merci! Shan

Dear In Style,

Durrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, derp derp. Tell us something we don't know. Like when you are going to feature us in the magazine.

Love,
Amy

How Dare I?

Shame on me for not adding Matthew Fox to my Party Of Top Five list. SHAME ON ME.

Loves,

Ames

.

.

Holy crap, he purty.

That is all.

Shan

Dreeeeeammmmm Weeeeaverrrrr.....

Uh oh. I just found my latest time-waster: Looklet. A place where those so inclined can go to style different ensembles. Better still, one can purchase said ensembles if one so chooses. Orrrrr one can just refer to oneself as "one" without fear of retribution. Okay, I just made that last part up.

I ALSO made up the following swell virtual paper dolls last night. Looklet, you had me at hello.

Pretty hawt, non? Patricia Fields - call me....

I love-a dis jacket.

EXCELLENT sparkly vest. Well played, Silence & Noise!

Almost the exact outfit I am wearing to work today, minus the spendy shoes.

Dear Shan,

I wondered how long it was going to take before we discussed this site. I like sharing brains. It's the fun.

Wearing the new white jacket today, are you?

Loves,

Ames

Stuff We Would Kiss On the Mouf: Christian Louboutin

Le Sigh.

I came across these Christian Louboutin Nitoinimoi Bandage Ankle Boots on the fab blog Life In a Venti Cup, and my feet are having serious shoe envy. I wear a size 8, people. You know what to do - take up a collection and send them my way. I need.

Merci!

Shannan
.

Franki posts some of the most drool-worthy things in all the land, so if you're not already a fan, get your towel handy. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Kisses,

Amy

Get Thee Hence

...to A TownhouseLady's blog toot sweet for the FUNNIEST Match.com bideos EVAH. You are welcome.

Merci!
Shan

Stuff We Would Kiss On The Mouf: Fa Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay

Fage Greek Yogurt: A Love Story

Once upon a time in Missouri, two fair maidens searched high and low for the best yogurt in all the land. Then they found Fage Greek Yogurt and the search was over, yada yada yada.

Seriously, once you try this creamy and rich, yet completely non-fat yogurt all other non-fat yogurt is just a sad, sacchrinny mess. Blech. I know I speak for Shan when I say to Fage: "Bring it to my mouf." If you think you like yogurt but haven't tried Fage, I think it best to say it in the words of MTV Diaries, "You Think You Know, But You Have No Idea."

Amy's Fage 0% with a touch of honey, low-fat Trader Joe's Vanilla Granola and fresh bluberries. Yes.
Amy's Fage 0% Smoothie (half a small carton with 4 0z natural apple juice, fresh pineapple and strawberries): Yes.
Shan's Fage 0% with Bear Naked Heavenly Chocolate Granola: Yes.
Fage 0% with Oxygen: Yes

Shan's Fage 0% on an Eggo cinnamon waffle w/fresh sliced peach and drizzle of honey: YES

To recap:

Yoplait? No way.
Dannon? Mais non.
Blue Bunny? How funny.
The Other Ones I Can't Rhyme With Right Now: No.

And they all lived happily ever after.

The End.
-Ames

Shan Here: With Fage 0%, fairytales DO come true.

Shan Here again: Okay, that was totally ghey and I apologize. Cut me some slack, homies. It is late and I dealt with two crying 14-month olds for 2 hours. Let's see YOU be funny under those circumstances.

Stuff We Do In Private: Follow the Bouncing Ball

In case you are new here to MBB, from time to time Shan and I post our random old IM chats. One might say it's our way of posting something without having to put any thought into it. One might be right. Nevertheless, it's a good insight to how random we can be in the course of 10 minutes or less, and proof that we cover the hard-hitting topics facing the nation today. Or mindless crap. Your call.

Aaaaaaaaaaand scene:

Amy: mucho importante... is there anything fabulous to look forward to on SYTYCD tonight? Me not get home til eleven last night.

Shannan: YES

Amy: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Shannan: OOooooh there was a routine that was a cross between hip hop and rock and was AWESOME

Amy: remember who it was?

Shannan: and another couple did the pase double (or however you spell it) - the hip hop rock was Brandon and his partner

Amy: I think it's Pasta Diablo but I could be wrong

Shannan: and the ballet girl and her partner did a great rotine too. are you sure it's not the pesto diorshow?

Amy: not 100%

Shannan: and by "rotine" I clearly mean "rotini."

Amy: clearly. this conversation is fusili.

Shannan: I needs to eat some lunchity unch before the bebes wake up

Amy: get on it then

Shannan: methinks I will have my Kashi Mayan Bake - YUM

Amy: i just had chicken noodle soup from noodles and co. that kyle brought me b/c I no feel so bueno. i swear my ear infection in making me nauseous

Shannan: I beleeeeb it. does it also make you dizzy?

Amy: that or all the heroinz. uh huh, i have the spins

Shannan: you need to get off the SMACK, woman! and stop drinking during the day too.

Amy: how will i pass the time then? you need to think this through better

Shannan: omg last night Tom and I were playing w/the Wii and it was cracking me up

Amy: i have 24 hours to fill

Shannan: we needs to do that when you bizit

Amy: go onnnnnnnnnnnnnn. playing whatsies?

Shannan: I did the hula hoop. Tom hit about 987 soccer balls w/his head. I did rhythm (nation) boxing. some balance stuff. some other balance stuff. we can bowl

Amy: just a virtual hula hoop. like you just stand there and gyrate?

Shannan: yes - it cracks me up. that is correct, sir.

Amy: farrah fawcett died

Shannan: just doing it cracks me up. SHE DID??

Shannan: Oh no - I saw something about her the other day and thought she must not be doing well at all

Amy: sorry to break it to you in the middle of this IM - just popped in me brain thingies

Shannan: that's too bad. did she and ryan o'neal get married?

Amy: not sure they had time yet???

Shannan: I knew that had decided to. speaking of popping into the brain -

Amy: sadness

Shannan: have you been following the Perez/Will.I.Am thing?

Amy: just a wee bit

Shannan: what do you fink?

Amy: if it happened like Perez says then it's wrong. i mean, i'm not gonna make some 13 minute overly dramatic and slightly drugged out seeming video about it but hitting is bad.

Shannan: yeah, I don't think getting smacked in the face was necessary, but what he says about people for a living every single day - is he REALLY shocked by it?

Amy: yeah, that was ridiculous to say that to Will.I.Am's face or anywhere....I mean why would he use that word?

Shannan: I hope the situation at least makes him think about the things he says in the future, but I don't think it will

Amy: Tres hypocrytical me thinks

Shannan: I KNOW! And he made a statement that he could care less what GLAAD thinks about it.He's not doing any favors for the gay community

Amy: but you get someone else being defamatory toward the ghey and he won't stfu about it

Shannan: I KNOW!

Amy: at least dlisted is funneh

Shannan: Now who's acting all Miss California? I was kind of hoping I would see something on another blog about it - just to get their point of view

Amy: please don't let there be topless pics of perez out there...

Shannan: ugh - you KNOW he would have four "Moobs."

Amy: Like Ron on Biggest Loser

Shannan: I am still reading this Wal Fart Bingo thing up on my screen, and it makes me giggle like a little school girrrrrllll

Amy: The Teets of a Nursing Golden Retriever as I like to call them

Shannan: "Obese person using scooter," CHECK

Amy: you've never seen it? perfection

Shannan: I don't think so

Amy: gum would be perfection

Shannan: "Someone oblivious to the fact they are in your way," CHECK CHECK
Okay milady - my lunch is done. I's going to go eat it and watch Top Chef Masters

Amy: alrighty. enjoy. i have so much good tv to watch tonight. happy girl.

Shannan: YAY good TV!

Shannan: Tis too bad you cannot virtual hula hoop!

Amy: I can. I gyrate all the time. Some call it "wiggle"...I call it "maize."

Shannan: and some call it "how much did she have to drink???"

Stuff We Would Kiss On the Mouf: Blogroll!!

Methinks it's time for a bloggity ogg roll (not to be confused with Tootsie Rollllllll)....

Some of my recent Favey Crocketts:

Love Maegan: Just came across this site today, and haven't delved fully into the blog, but I THINK she and I may share a brain, just from reading her bio. Seriously - a woman who loves Bill Murray, Ricky Gervais, Shawn of the Dead, Anchorman, has road rage, and a certain amount of OCD when coming across grammatical errors in her own blog? We're practically twins. Errr, triplets - sorry, Ames.

Smartscruffy Fashion: Could this girl BE any cuter? I don't think so. Enjoy fashion from the other side of the pond.

That Girl Is Hoisin: Uh, hello, Lucy Liu but cuter. Looking at this cutie patootie makes me LONG for freckles. For real. Great clothes, great hair, look up the word adorable in the dictionary, and you'll find her photo. Don't believe me? Check it out yo damn self.

This Chick's Got Style: Another fashionista from across the pond, this time in Amsterdam. Can we please observe a moment of silence for her DOPE black sequin jacket?

Are You People High?

You're hopped up on the goofball, aren't you? AREN'T YOU?

Are you trying to tell me they don't look alike? I'll hear nothing of it, ye olde crack whores. Put down the pipe and pick up your glasses.

Love,

Ames

(This post makes more sense if you happened to read the one below it and the comments.)

.

Dear Ames,

There is only one crack ho around here, and it ain't me. NO ONE but you thinks Mr. T looks like Simon P. It's okay though - we still love you.

Love love love,

Shan

Stuff We Would Kiss On the Mouf: The Unexpected Hottie

Aaaahhhhh, the Unexpected Hottie - usually the funny guy who may not be classically good-looking, but the more you get to know them, gets hotter and hotter. Is it coincidence that three of my four hotties are English? I dunno, but I DO know that I love that dry, sarcastic humor of the British. Is it coincidence that three of the four can play funny or dramatic convincingly? I dunno. I just know I loves them all.

Hugh Laurie

Hugh, Hugh, Hugh - it doesn't hurt that you remind me of an older Chris Martin. I am not so into House as I used to be, but I love you nonetheless. You are witty, charming, scruffy, adorable, intelligent, and sexaaaay. I would play doctor wiv you anyday.

Ames: Paging Dr. Adorable.
Shan: It's the Chris Martin thang, isn't it?
Ames: It is. It really, really is.

Bill Nighy


I first saw Mr. Nighy in Love, Actually, and his performance was geeeeeen-ius. Everytime I watch the movie, I love him a little more. He can also be covered in seaweed in a crappy sequal, and I still love him. Or, or, orrrrrr he could be a zombie locked in a car, and I will STILL love him. See, that's the wonder that is Bill Nighy. It's not just anyone who could be a pervy, aging rock star or a zombie and still be charming, but he is. Hollaaaa, Bill!!!

Ames: Just like Stevie Nicks, you are on your own with this one, sistah. Gramps is all yours.
Shan: I'll take him - I'm comfortable with my geriatric crush.

Stanley Tucci

Stanley - homina homina, you Italian Stallion, you. I love you gay (Devil Wears Prada), I love you straight (A Life Less Ordinary), I love you funny (It Could Happen to You) or scary (one of those John Grisham movies with Julia Roberts) or sweet (Big Night). I love you cooking (An Italian Christmas With Mario and Giada), and I REALLLLLY love that you were in Miami Vice. Who knew?

Ames: I say it's the bald head and the mouth. And the Miami Vice.
Shan: Note to self - Idea for future post: Hot Bald Guys - Ed Harris, I'm lookin at you...

Ames: Yes, please. Bald is the hotness.

Simon Pegg
Maybe my favorite of the Unexpected Hottie. Ohhhhh, Simon - you devil you. You had me at Shaun of the Dead, which was HI-larious, and also starred Mr. Nighy. However, it was your turn in Run, Fat Boy, Run, which clinched your status on my list. We all know, as I have stated before, that funny trumps cute any day, but you, sir, are both. I didn't realize just how many movies you HAVE been in, until I googly-oooogled you. Methinks I see a Simon Pegg-a-thon in the near future.

Ames: You DO realize that Simon Pegg looks like your husband, don't you? Surely, you must. So either you really do fancy Simon or you are just trying to cover your arse by talking about all these men on here. I mean I'm just sure our husbands read our blog daily.

Shan: Does he REALLY look like Mr. T? Hmmmm....I keep going back and looking, but just don't see it. Natty Lite - please weigh in here. Does Simon P = Mr. T?

Ames: Seriously? You don't see it? You do see I look like Charlize Theron though, don't you?

Shan: I do not. No matter, Mr. T is hotter than Mr. P any day of the week. I thought we were supposed to say you looked like Rachel Weisz....

Amy, still: Hmmmmmm, I'm having to think on this one a wee bit. I mean other than the blatant crushes I may have on these two gentlemen...

They aren't just funny. They are smart. And, as we are wont to do here on MBB, I think that qualifies them as "fart", er, let's go with "smunny" instead. Or "filarious" if that suits you better. Intelligent humor is the best, says the girl that just typed the word "fart."

Shan: Ohhhhhhh yes, the Fart Guy (not to be confused with the FartER...) Sigh. Jon and Stephen, I heart you both (or would that be I fart you both? now I'm confused...) I was just drooling over Mr. Colbert last night, with his new buzz cut....I think he should ALWAYS have a buzz cut. I'LL buzz you ANYTIME, Stephen Colbert.

Wait - did I just type that last line out loud?

To our now TWENTY-TWO readers - please weigh in with yo OWN unexpected crushes. There has to be SOMEONE out there with their own BIll Nighy.

Ames: Shan, I think you forgot your love for Danny DeVito. I still hope that's a joke though.

Shan: I TOTALLY realized I had missed my Danny after I typed out this post. Never fear - he is still number one in my heart.

Wish List

I don't know what it is lately with my desire for "Play It Again Fashion," but here I am, getting ready to post pics of my current obsessions that are old school redux. I will start out by saying that thankfully they are NOT replicas of the red suede two piece suit I wore at one point in my life - the one with gold buttons down the front? - or the bellhop's jacket I made out of dad's work jacket a la Star in The Lost Boys (the only vampire movie worth mentioning, so SUCK IT, Twilight) - which brings to mind the ORIGINAL Pact I made with two girlfriends upon graduation from high school, in which we promised to get together no matter where we were in life 10 years to the day from the date we made The Pact, and which we signed as The Gypsy, The Artist, and The Intellectual, and SEALED IN WAX. Guess who was The Gypsy? Stevie Nicks, eat your heart out.

But - say it with me now - I DIGRESS.

Let's move on, shall we, and never speak of this again (I'm looking at you, Amy)....

Which brings me to tie dye. I'm not talking Jerry Garcia Deadhead tie dye, this is more Hippie Rocker tie dye - Hocker tie dye, if you will. What's that? You won't? No matter - I will. Please feast your eyeballs on the oh so cool tee below, courtesy of Blue Life at Planet Blue. I'll take three, please.

Next up? 1990 called, and wants its acid-washed, pinch-rolled Z Cavaricci's back. Alarmingly enough, so do I. It's true, folks. What you are about to read is real - don't adjust your dials. I keep coming across these jeans and am DYING for a pair.

They're everywhere, it seems. And they're HELLA expensive (relatively speaking, and when one's family is going through TWO GALLONS OF MILK A DAY - I'm looking at you, Trips - well, one cannot justify the price). Leave it to Carbon Couture to offer helpful, inexpensive directions to DIY those bad boys. I came across Carbon Couture yesterday, and immediately faved it, as it is a blog full of DIY fashion projects. Yeah, like I have time to DIY anything these days.

Anyhoozle, there they are - my latest obsessions. Ames - feel free to add yours to the list, but no smart ass comments on The Gypsy, or I will be forced to mention your Flock of Seagulls captured by Olan Mills portraiture. Oopsie!!!!

Shan,

This post is like the Champagne Brunch at The Bellagio. I don’t know where to start. Unless you’re offering Champagne, then I’ll start there, durrrrrr.

With the noticeable absence of a mimosa in hand, however, I shall start from the tippy top. I’m cool with nicknames, as my girlfriends and I named ourselves after shoes in Elementary School. Adidas, Nike and Van to be exact. You may call me Van. I’m even cool with calling you The Gypsy. BUT the Stevie Nicks reference is where we need to have words. Come to Camera Three with me….Stevie Nicks is the devil, Shan. You know I feel this way. Must we mention her here on these hallowed pages?

Shan Here: I LOVES Stevie Nicks. You do not. We will agree to disagree on her fab-you-less-ness, but I will NOT agree to never mention her again. In fact...

See how that works? Behold, Miz Stevie in all her glory. I mean, how can you NOT love that? Two of your favorite things in one photo - Stevie Nicks AND a bird.

Back to Amy: As for Hocker Tie Dye. Don’t hit me, but I bought a slouchy tie dye shirt a few months back to possibly wear under my ivory and black tuxedo jacket and have never worn it. Thanks for the reminder. I shall whip that bad boy out this eve. The upside for you is that it’s too late to return it so if I try it on again and no likey, someonnnnnne may be getting a Hocker shirt in the mail. The down side is that if I do likey then I’ve had it so long it’s probably not in sto any mo. Don’t fret though, Little Bean, there are plenty of Hocker T’s out there. (You should know I’m going to call them TJ Hockers.)

Shan: DOH!!! I shake my fist at you, with your ivory and black tux jacket and TJ Hocker tee!!!!!!!

Ames: The jeans. The jeans. Oh, the jeans. My initial reaction is thus, “OH HAIL NAW.” Then I realize that’s my reaction to me in those jeans. Jimmy Dean called and wants his sausage stuffed in tie-dye casing back. Not pretty. The day I don anything labeled “skinny” is the day Mariah Carey becomes tasteful. i.e. NEVER. Where you will wear them, I know not, but HOW you will wear them I know: Annoyingly Hawt.

You’re asking yourself, “What Does Amy Want?” aren’t you? I know. I ask myself that daily and then put the answers on a Dream Board. I’m still waiting for that pile o’cash. It will happen. I have the ripped out picture from a magazine to prove it. I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want.

Distressed Boyfriend Jeans. I don’t even care if they are the uber Celeb Fave AG kind or the uber cheap F21 kind. I just want.

Shan: Yep yep yep - meluvs the distressed b-friend jeans too.

Speaking of F21. I’m loving the back of this orange dress and think it would enjoy going up to the East Coast with me for the upcoming trip out to our friend’s home, Red Roof in Gloucester. I think it would like the view lounging on the terrace whilst sipping Sangria, don’t you?

Shan: I think cutie pie Orangina (my name for said dress) would have a GREAT time at Red Roof, but probably only if you send your TJ Hocker Tee to me to take care of.

Ames: My wrist wants one or 3 of these from Paloma's Nest. I’m really not sure what I even want them to say. Whether it be a new take on a I.D. bracelet and I get my name (Amy, not what you call me, Shan) or favorite quote/word/what you have you, I just like the simplicity of these bangles.

Alternatively, I’m in LOVE with the anti-simplicity of thee creations found here are Rebecca3030. Layer it on. Pile it up. Make my neck a baked potato with the works, please. Bring It. These.Are.Amazing. These are right up there with world peace, people. Mama wants.

Shan: I would fully enable and support your use (or overuse) of numerous necklaces (or necklie, as I believe is the pluralized version), only if you buy me two for every one that you wear. What???? That seems fair.

So there you have it. A brief overview of things we don’t need. If I say “brief” enough maybe you won’t realize that you just grew a beard reading this. I’m looking at youuuuuuuuuu, Chris Dunlow Nease.

Merci!
Ames