Monday, October 26, 2009

Stuff We Would Kiss On the...Oh, Who Am I Kidding?

Seriously ya'll, I feel like I should be getting MORE excited with the PR recaps the closer we get to the end, but it is just the opposite. Challenge involving inspiration from a location? Great idea. However, in keeping with the craptastic judging and interpretations from the designers, it was more like a slow boat to China. The show is tap-dancing on my last nerve, for real, ya'll. Hey, these ya'lls are giving me an idea. Just for sh!ts and giggles, I'm going to write the rest of my recap in the voice of Britney Spears.

Amy: Oh no, I knew one day I’d wake to find that Shan has finally lost her mind. And for my recap of PR this time, I shall give it to you in the form of rhyme. Not really. Rhyme drives me inthane. And, actually, I may not get to this so am going to let Brit take it from here. Dry your salty tears, 29 followers. I’ll be back eventually.

The Winner: Irina. Again.

Ya'll, I loooove me some fox fur as much as K-Fed loves Little Debbie. For reals. Oh, wait - that isn't fox fur? It's FAUX fur? What's faux fur, ya'll??? I'm so confused. But for real, ya'll, I do love this. If it were MY "chillaxin in Aspen" wear though, I'd turn that sweater around. Seriously. I didn't pay good money for a ta-ta lift to hide them under a basket. I do love that giant flurpy turtleneck though, and even though the pants look a liiiiitle baggy on the model, they'd do in a pinch. Thumbs up, ya'll.

The Loser: Nicolas

Ya'll, I think the problem with this look is that that top needs to be SEE-THROUGH. It's tight enough, but you can't even see her belly button ring through that material! Come ON! Those pants are cute too, but I was in Greece for my world tour in 2000, and I would NEVER wear pants there unless they were made of genuine pleather.

SHOULD Have Won: Daryl Carol Hannah

Oh ya'll, I'm so sorry that my fellow southerner did not win this challenge. I love this dress more than Cheetos dipped in Cheez Whiz, but of course, if it were MY design I'd cut it off to just below hoo-ha level (sans underwear, duhhhh), add some fishnets and hooker platforms and call it a day.


Ya'll, I am so confused. Is her name JOR-dana or GOR-dana? I mean, it's spelled with a G, but sounds like it is spelled with a J. I just don't know. Anyway, the dress? It's cute and all, but if it were MINE, I'd have used this really cute, stretchy pink and black zebra print spandexy stuff I saw at JoAnn's the other day instead of grey. I mean, doesn't Jordana, or Gordana, or whatever, ALWAYS use grey? Why use grey when there are SO MANY neon-colored animal prints out there to use?


Ya'll, Logan is HAWT. Seriously. I wonder if he would make me a pair of shiny silver pants? Or just give me his? Maybe if I offer him a position as a back-up dancer? Okay, I'm getting off track, ya'll. His hotness is just...DISTRACTING. I bet that's why the judges keep him around each week. That, or maybe Michael Kors has spent one too many weeks in the tanning bed, and it is affecting his judgement. I know all about tanning bed accidents, ya'll. Okay, I'm getting off track here. This outfit is pretty cute and all, but I don't get the Mork & Mindy suspenders. I mean, if you're going to do them, go all out and use the rainbow ones, right? Those pants are ALMOST tight enough, but I'd take the scissors to that tank top, or just replace it with one I saw at Deb's last weekend at the Galleria. It was juuuust short enough to show off the 2-pack I have again.


Ya'll, this dude is like a cat with nine lives. He just keeps on livin. He's got the right length on that skirt, but I would've taken that annoying lining out of it. And the stupid white tank under the blue top? Ya'll, it needs to go. THEN you'd have a winning outfit.


Ya'll. I know I keep saying this, but I am so confused. Isn't this the same outfit that Althea makes each week? Except some weeks it has long pants and some it has shorts? She should've really mixed things up this week and thrown a feather boa in there. That would've been hotter than the jabanero pepper shooters at Chili's.


MerciBlahBlah said...

NO ONE? No one wants to post on my Brit-inspired recap? It's a sad day when I am forced to comment on my OWN post, just so I don't see the big fat ZERO next to the word "comments."