Wednesday, October 21, 2009

My Prayer




Wow. Beautiful and amazing. I have been having a rough go of things with The Trips in the past few weeks, and this song just makes me cry. I have had days where I feel like I am a terrible mother, days where I don't think I can do it. Days where I think the easiest thing - the best thing for everyone - would be to just leave. I know this song is told from a father's point of view, but it is my prayer.

This Woman's Work, Maxwell
Pray to God you can cope
I stand outside
This woman's work
This woman's world
Oooh, it's hard on the man
Now his part is over
Now starts the craft of the father

I know you have a little life in you yet
I know you have a lot of strength left
I know you have a little life in you yet
I know you have a lot of strength left

I should be crying but I just can't let it show
I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking
All the things I should've said that I never said
All the things we should of done that we never did
All the things I should've given but I didn't

Oh darling make it go
Make it go away
Give them back to me
Give that little kiss
Give me your hand

I know you have a little life in you yet
I know you have a little strength left
I know you have a little life in you yet
I know you have a little strength left

I should be crying but I just can't let it show
I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking
Of all the things we should've said that were never said
All the things we should've done that we never did
All the things that you needed from me
All the things that that you wanted from me
All the things I should of given but I didn't

Oh darling make it go away
Just make it go away now


Merci.
Shan

5 comments:

Molly said...

Sorry you're having a hard time. I have been having a hard time dealing with everything lately. The thought of 2 under 2 scares me half to death. But if you can do it, then I certainly can handle 2 that are 21 months apart right? RIGHT? Anyway, I think we all feel like bad moms at some point. I'm a stay at home mom right now and I love my little guy and all the time I have with him but some days I think I might go mad.

MerciBlahBlah said...

Yeah, as much as you hear about all of the GOOD things when you have a baby, you so DON'T hear about those times you feel like you're a sh!t mother. At all. I just have to learn to go with the flow more than I have been - ESPECIALLY with three! I was on Amazon the other day and saw a book that I am going to get: Buddhism For Mothers. I'm not Buddhist, but I think the basics of the philsophy could really help. Hang in there too, mamacita!!
Shan

GiGi said...

i have been barking about wanting to have a class for new mothers. my hubby and i spent a stupid amount of money for classes to prepare us for the labor/delivery. all of that info was chucked out the window as soon as i went into labor because we didn't go over any of the potential issues that could happen. not to mention the struggles with breast feeding, getting your child to sleep, etc.
i don't think there is a mamma on the planet that doesn't feel like a huge failure every now and then-and if they say they don't, i don't want to be friends with them.
ummmm..and do you have triplets??

MerciBlahBlah said...

Yep, the sleeping issue is a big one w/us right now. Our daughter Scarlett is in her own room, but if she is throwing a sh!t fit, she's close enough to the boys' room (yes, we have triplets) that she could potentially wake them up, and then we start the whole process over. Being sleep deprived SUCKS.

SGM said...

OH OH OH, this song is from She's Having a Baby. The labor scene! I tear up just to think of it. (I too am a tv/movie trivia savant and together, we would rule the world!)

Being a mom is so mf hard. I'm thinking of you, and sending you (or your kids?) some sleep.

(word verification: smorsh, which is how my brain feels after being with whiny kids all day)