Monday, August 24, 2009

Stuff We Would Kiss On the Mouf: Project Runway Recap

Settle in, folks, it's time for our first Project Runway recap. Annnnd we're off!

First of all - why was Lindsay Lohan a guest judge? Oh yeah, I guess her extensive knowledge of leggings, oversized tees and second day, slept-in hair and makeup would make anyone an expert.

Was it just me, or did it seem like almost everyone's red carpet looks could've come from the same boring collection? Seriously - they were all very muted, blah, boring, satin and silk looks. I don't have a problem with muted collections if there is something fabulous about the construction, which I personally didn't see in (m)any of these looks. Let's break it down, yo.

Amy: No, I concur. If we were breaking up with Project Runway Week One, we would say, "It's not us. It's you."

Christopher - The Winner

Shan: This was a cute look, but there was no ooomph for me. I did like the peek-a-boo ruffles at the bottom (very Cat Deeley), and maybe it was the color of the dress that I didn't like, but overall, it was okay.

Amy: Yes, this was very much like the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup wrapper frock of yore, but it was far more interesting than most of the outfits in this snoozefest. For that, I give you props. Now then, send me some Reese's...nom nom nom.

Shan: Should Have Won: This was my favorite look. It reminded me of some Monique Lhuillier gowns that I've seen. Love the deep halter, love the ribbon on the waist, and the flowiness (yes, that's a word) of the skirt. I didn't completely love the color, but das just me.

Amy: Yep, my faves, too. It was just elegant. So mucha ML wedding gown look, but I'm okay with that because it was really well done and one of the only ones that made me want to catch the bulimia so I could wear it.

Ari - The Loser

Shan: Of course I was rooting for my home-town girl, despite her "woodland fairy" persona and horrific piece whatever it was. Hey, maybe she can work on getting a job now as the costume queen for the local revival of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Unitard." I was hoping that she would stay in so we could see some of her artistry and conceptual design, but sadly, girlfriend just did not execute what she did well enough.

Amy: My sister said it best in her Facebook status on Friday when she simply put "We just weren't ready for Ari."


Shan: Should Have Been Auf'd. Qristal. I'm so embarrassed for you - it's spelled CRYSTAL. No matter - let's get to the dress. How in the world this piece of crap didn't get Qhwristalllle sent home toot sweet is beyond me. The ruching is a travesty, the floral pattern is even worse. U-G-H. It's like the two worst dresses at Deb's Dress Barn bumped uglies, and this is the mutant baby that was born from their unholy union. It's like the Quasi-Modo of fashion. It's the Sloth Fratelli from the Goonies of the red carpet.

Okay, I think I'm done now.

Amy: This is what I imagine Donatella Versace's bowel movements look like.


Shan: Oh, I'm sorry - I must've dozed off watching this booooooring dress.

Amy: Curious to see the rest of her creations that do double duty. I just wished this one would have doubled as something cute.


Shan: Oops! There I go sleeping again! BORING. Did anyone else think this model looked like the tranny model from ANTM a few cycles ago?

Amy: I literally just died of lack of excitement.


Shan: This dress wasn't bad, but again, it was slightly boring to me. I wish he would've used some color or print.

Amy: Okee, pretty and probably one of the only ones that I can actually see on the Red Carpet, so there's that. Yeah, that's all I got.


Shan: When I was downloading photos, I have to admit I didn't even remember this dress from the other night, but I actually do like the banded detailing he has used on the front of it. I wouldn't necesarily consider this a red carpet dress - even for the VMAs or Grammys, but it's cute enough.

Amy: I'm really over the whole strips of fabric used to make an outfit. Someone does that every season, so I have to deduct points for that.


Shan: Come and knock on our dooooor, we've been waiting for yoooooou....oh sorry - I look at this dress and immediately starting singing the theme to Three's Company. Again, I feel like Mitchell could've/should've gone home with this lil number. It was SEE THROUGH. What the eff? Not to mention a hideous color. It could've been slightly Mrs. Roper fab with a hot print, but again, it's just blah. And that horrible neck noodle needs. ta. GO.

Amy: Okay, if he really got bogus measurements and thus had to trash his first attempt, that is just wrong. I was really curious to see the first look. He was rocking that smocking.


Shan: Giant corsage on the shoulder? Yes, please. Diaperriffic droop on the skirt? No thank you. Try again.

Amy: LOVE the detail on the bodice. Loathe the hemline on the bodom. If this was full-length I would be swooning.


Shan: For the love of Tony Orlando and Dawn, will someone PLEASE liven these people up next week? I do not want to be bored to death on my first week recap!!!!

Amy: It's gonna get better, right? I mean, you're cute so it would be nice to see you for a few weeks. Maybe you could just walk to runway?


Shan: FINALLY! Even though I don't feel his dress translates well in this photo, I actually really liked this dress. It was slinky and sexy, but in a completely unexpected way. Loved the back, loved the red, loved the black sparkles. Didn't espesh love the shoes with it, but overall, this one was a keeper.

Note to Johnny - okay girlfriend, you've gotten your "But I used to be a meth addict, HOLD ME TIM GUNNNNNNN!" cry-fest out. Let's move on. We don't need a Season Six Crybaby - that is played OUT.

Amy: I wanted to like this more than I did. I loves me a good overcoming addiction story and while it wasn't bad, and was certainly better than most, I still didn't love it. There was almost just a little too much going on for a dress that is at glance, simple.

And, re: the crying. As Shan mentioned, you can stop. Ricky Season 4 cried the CRAP out of the season so don't even try to take his crown. You will fail.


Shan: Ill-fitting, and something about the waist (or lack of) doesn't seem quite right. The origami look could be cool in a different outfit, but I don't like it here.

Amy: We are thiiiiiiis close to seeing her bewbies. Gorgeous color but that's my highest compliment.

Bob Marley...I mean, Epperson:

Shan: This was another I really liked. Again, the color wasn't the best for me, but I loved the detailing on the skirt, the neckline, and that huge wrap around the neck. Tres chic.

Amy: I'm a sucker for a dramatic neckline, but this one looks like it's about to eat her. She looks hot. And her legs look itchy. I am looking forward to seeing more of him though because at least he didn't make me want to poke sticks in my eyes from boredom.

Carol Hannah:

Shan: I don't like this as well in photo as I did on the show, because I really loved the detailed pleating on the bodice, and it just doesn't translate here for me. I like the idea of using color in graduating intensity, but, I'll say it again, just don't love the color itself here.

P.S. I thought Amy Winehouse did a FAB job on the runway with this one.

Amy: Same here, I thought it looked better on TV but now that I see it again I have to pull out a Tim Gunn here and just say "that's a lotta look." And, you should know, I'm going to call you Darryl Hannah.


Shan: I'll start by saying I actually DID love the silvery blue of this dress, and the fluidity of the skirt, but I do NOT like the "I got these flowers at Hobby Lobby and hot-glued them onto my boobs" aspect of the dress.

Amy: Haven't I seen you somewhere before? Okay, Dress, you're pretty. There. There. I'm just not feeling like you're anything new.


Style Scout said...

did you guys see PR all stars? Is it just me, or was it a complete setup that Daniel won?! His collection sucked...Koto should have won!

MerciBlahBlah said...

Yep, I concur, though I was so put off by her sour grapes attitude and the comment she made about LeAnn that I didn't feel TOO bad. You know whose look I loved in All Stars? Chris March's. I LOVED that he used the same stiff plaid wool in every look, but each look was completely unique.

Do you ever read Tom and Lorenzo's Project RunGay blog? They are SO great, and have the most detailed recaps I've ever seen.


sgm said...

Excellent recap! My fave: This is what I imagine Donatella Versace's bowel movements look like.

So true.