I don't know Jeff, but when I read his entry as our first guest blogger, I was laughing out loud. Now, since I don't know Jeff, he does not know my number one rule, that is "do NOT make Shannan laugh out loud at her desk at work." Jeff - consider this your warning. Don't make me remind you again. So, dear readers (now 26 readers - WOOT!) consider this YOUR warning. Jeff = HILARIOUS. Enjoy.....
Scene: MY DESK
LARRY walks up to MY DESK with a troubled look on his face. I begin to gather my site visit crap.
LARRY: Hey, Jeff, do you have.....
ME (interupting and packing): Actually Larry I'm on my way out the door. I've got a site visit.
LARRY (slightly confused): Ok, yeah, well do you have....
ME (interupting again): I'm actually running a little late. I don't really have time.
LARRY (slightly more confused): Ok, well I was just wondering if you have an email address for Pete over at Vessel.
ME (relieved): What? Oh, yeah! I totally have his email. I totally thought you were....aw nevermind.
Good times. Did I mention I was awkward? So when we thought the second round was coming the three principals had a big secret meeting on Monday. So on Tuesday I spent the whole morning out at site visits. Turns out we were a week early with our guess. Round Two came the following Tuesday. They were sneaky about it this time, too. The first round Grim Reaper was Larry. Round two Grim Reaper was John. It all played out like this...oh one more thing you need to know about me...I have trouble taking things seriously...ok back to the exchange.
Scene: MY DESK
I see John turn the corner by MY DESK like he's on a mission. I follow him out of the corner of my eye until he leave my peripheral.
ME (internally): Oh man, looks like John is on a mission to talk to J.R. Hopefully I don't have to listen to him be too much of an ass...Just then a hand falls on my shoulder. Not like a severed hand but a big wanna-be European hand.
JOHN (slightly statled): Hey, can we see you in the conference room for a sec.
ME: Goddammit, John. Seriously?
We begin to walk to the CONFERENCE ROOM.
JOHN: So you heard what's going on then, huh?
ME: No. No, John, I haven't. But I'm not fucking stupid either. I can figure it out pretty easily.
JOHN: Well, we can talk about it in the convference room.We walk past AMY AND MICHELLE'S DESKS and into the CONFERENCE ROOM. Neither one of them look at me. JOHN and I walk in and ALAN and LARRY are already sitting.
ME: Any of these seats ok?
ALAN: This one is fine. Well......I guess good morning.
ME: Really Alan? Really? I guess its good for at least the next 30 seconds.
ALAN: Alright. You clearly know what's happening. Today will be your last day.
ME: Fucking A, Alan....Goddammit.
(Not really Jeff...)
True Story: Since you don't know him I should tell you that I actually picked that clipart because that is shockingly a very close resemblence to Jeff. Slap some facial hair and a mumble mumble something Cajun mumble mumble voice on that super sperm and you have a dead ringer.
Thanks for the guest post, JAH. Oh how you are missed. The injustice of it all.