Tuesday, June 23, 2009

It's Getting Hot In Herrrrrrrre

Dear Shan,

I don't know what your side of Missouri is like right now but my side is HAWT. Bleh. It's the kind of hot where you get home and get out of the car and wonder, "How am I sweating THERE? I have air conditioning in my car."

It has however provided me with a few observations:

1. I called someone today and they mentioned how hot it was and starting singing "Heat Wave" in a jovial tone. It hit me - that song is way more upbeat than an actual Heat Wave.

2. Those guys you see at the gym that wear the weightlifting pants and grunt and make a production number out of lifting weights look even funnier outside walking in the heat with their business clothes on. I saw Meathead walking next to Normal Size Guy on the way to their cars after work and Meathead just naturally looked 20 degrees hotter. Poetic justice.

3. Apparently I saw a lot of people walking to their cars tonight because Two Normal Guys were walking and one lifted up his arms and smelled his pits and laughed. I appreciate that. Thank you Normal Guy With Sweaty Pits And An Apparent Awesome Sense of Humor Guy. You deserve a beer commercial jingle.

That is all.


Dearest Ames,
I am not Buster Poindexter. When I get in my car and the temperature gauge reads 111, that is TOO. EFFING. HOT. For real. What are we supposed to do in this weather? Fry eggs on our frigging heads? I do not think so. I do not fry things with my head. I do not melt things in my car. I would not, could not, near or far. I would not melt things with a mouse, I have pit stains upon my blouse.


This post brought to you by the letter F, for EFFING HOT.


Natasha said...

My apartment is a broiler rack short of being an actual oven. 3rd story in the South East corner with NO shade and a flat, black roof? MELT.

It was so much fun last night when the power went out for a couple of hours and it was too hot to sleep.

I bet that is how I lost the one pound this morning, I sweat it off last night.