Thursday, April 23, 2009

Stuff We Would Kiss On The Mouf: Mane Attraction

Well hello there. It's me, Amy. I think we've gotten to know each other well enough for me to let you in on a little secret...I like big hair and I cannot lie. Those otha brothas can't deny.

Just today in fact, I had what I claimed (on my Facebook page because I am 15 years old inside) that I thought I was having a Top Ten Good Hair Day. Encouraged by my equally mature friends to "prove it" I grabbed my phone and took a picture in the bathroom. I didn't say it was a good picture.

Oh, sure, I wish I was one of those girls who looked perfect with straight, silky hair. The kind of woman who just brushes her hair and every strand falls into place. The kind that can put it up in the PERFECT ponytail, sans mirror, while having a conversation with you. The kind of girl I secretly hate. That would be lovely.

I am not that girl though. Not even close. So, watch out, people. I have hairspray and I am not afraid to use it. After all, I am originally from Oklahoma and have also spent many years living in Texas where the saying is, "People from Oklahoma that have also spent many years living in Texas are the most charming people in the world." Wait, that's not the one. The one I meant to type out loud was, "The higher the hair the closer to Jesus."

So while my hair has gone down inches in height over the years and I've graduated from Rave and Aussie Sprunch Spray, (I was in high school in the late 80s. Enough said.) I have never lost my affinity for voluminous locks. Don't worry, that's just fancy for "big hair."

Since I've been around the hairspray aisle a time or two, I must give you a tip. Get. These. Products.
Rusk w8less Hair Spray

If polygyamy were legal and this hairspray was a boy I would marry it and have its perfectly coiffed little babies. This stuff is brilliant.

L'Oreal Ellnet

Yes, as you probably know, the ONE everyone has been talking about for years finally made it the States a few months ago. It really is that good. Everything you've heard is true. If you haven't heard that it smells terrible, well, that is also true. Small price to pay though for this golden can of wonder that makes you look like an angel kissed your head before you went out the door.

While you can't find this one everywhere, I am happy to report that you can find it at Target and NOT Wal-Mart. You can take the girl out of Oklahoma but you cannot take her IN to Wal-Mart.

Which, reminds me, I'll just wrap this up by saying you can also consider this post as Wal-Mart: Stuff I Would Punch In The Mouf.

Dear Amy,
I am STILL waiting for you to teach me how to do my hairs like your hairs. I don't think I'm asking that much, since I agreed in a previous post to either a) give you my eyelashes, or 2) fly to The Lou every morning and do your eye makeup. I do appreciate the tips on your favorite products, and have a can of The ELL in my bafroom as we speak. I concur - it STANKS. However, if you PROMISE it will make my hair look like yours, I PROMISE not to complain about the stench. HA! You and I both know complaining about the stench is one of my favorite things to do. And on that note, I will sign off.