Monday, April 6, 2009

Stuff We Do In Private: Of Corey Hart and Ice Cream Cone Jeans


Shannaaaaaaaaaaan, your recent mention of Shakira de hips don't lie is forcing me (willingly) to bust out this classic 2006 email exchange from the "keepers" folder. Good times.

While we're at it, can I get an "amen" that Skakira is no longer relevant? My ears have finally stopped bleeding. Now if we could only do something about Beyonce.

Without further adieu....Of Corey Hart and Ice Cream Cone Jeans.

From: Shannan
To: Amy
Subject: Shakira

Thoughts? Does she bug you? For some reason, girl bugs me. I think she sounds like a really pop version of Natalie Merchant, whose voice drives me to the brink of insanity. There. I'm insane.

I DO wish I had her abs, howevah.

From: Amy
To: Shannan
Subject: RE: Shakira

Okee, I loves Natalie so back off. Shakira however sounds like Kermit to me. I cannot stand her. The only thing I like about her is how she can move her hips like dat. I don't wanna steal all her dance moves, but she can do some interesting things with her body.

From: Shannan
To: Amy
Subject: RE: Shakira

And really, even her moves ain't that great. She has like, three, and she interchanges them in all her videos. The ab shimmy front to back, the boob shimmy front to back, and the ab roll side to side. Das it. Watch her next video - you'll see.

Oh yeah, she does the big-hair shake too, sometimes. A repertoire of four. Things are not looking good for her in the dance portion of the competition.

From: Amy
To: Shannan
Subject: RE: Shakira

Yeah, I really don't get the big deal with her. I swear if she sang Rainbow Connection and you had your eyes closed you'd never know it wasn't Kermie.

From: Shannan
To: Amy
Subject: RE: Shakira

I don't either, but I still stand by my Natalie Merchant comparison....

From: Amy
To: Shannan
Subject: RE: Shakira

I can sorta see that. I just have some really good memories of 10,000 Maniacs and that time in my life.

From: Shannan
To: Amy
Subject: RE: Shakira

If is lessens the blow, Natalie Merchant is not NEARLY as annoying.

From: Amy
To: Shannan
Subject: RE: Shakira

It's cool. I'm secure in my happy memories of NM. Just please don't squash my cherished thoughts of Corey Hart next.

From: Shannan
To: Amy
Subject: RE: Shakira

Are you kidding? He's a FOX!! I still have my spiral bound notebook covered in Mrs. Corey Hart Mrs. Shannan Hart Corey and Shannan + Corey = LUV4EVA

Thank GOD the Hubs hasn't found it yet.

From: Amy
To: Shannan
Subject: RE: Shakira

I so was on Cloud 9 at the concert in 7th grade. I stood in front of the stage in awe of the Hart. I must google him. I bet he's fat and ugly now.

From: Shannan
To: Amy
Subject: RE: Shakira

Oooooh, you got to go to the concert???? Did he mention me??? You have SO got to send me a link if you find pics!

From: Amy
To: Shannan
Subject: RE: Shakira

I think he did. At least I think it was you he was referring to when he said, "Don't worry, Amy, I will always love you more than Shannan, eh."

From: Shannan
To: Amy
Subject: RE: Shakira

Whatever!! Don't make me throw down over Corey Hart. I've done it before and I'll do it again.

From: Amy
To: Shannan
Subject: RE: Shakira

I thought I knew you from somewhere! That was YOU under my Keds-with-no-laces-cladded foot and tight-rolled jeans???

From: Shannan
To: Amy
Subject: RE: Shakira

Awwwww, listen to you, Tiny Dancer. You never saw my Duran Duran mullet and tinted Tootsie glasses (WITH gold-sticker monogram on the bottom) coming.

From: Amy
To: Shannan
Subject: RE: Shakira

Don't even act like you didn't have the fear of the holy father in you when you saw me coming down on your head. The last thing you saw was my ice cream cone jeans back pocket in yo face.

3 comments:

SGM said...

AUGH! You made me google Corey Hart! He's 47. Writing songs for Celine Dion. No pictures but I'm pretty sure he's fat and ugly.

MerciBlahBlah said...

Mwaaaah haaa haaaa.

Our work here is done, Shaaaaanan.

I'm still dying to know what he looks like though. I had his Tiger Beat pics torn out and pasted all over the back of my bedroom door. So dreamy.

MerciBlahBlah said...

SGM - I TOTALLY googled Corey Hart last week when Ames and I decided to post this. I could not for the life of me find a recent photo. Corey, if you're reading this, call me...(or just send a recent photo, for the love of Nell Carter)!!!