In the Swim

Why is it so bloody difficult to find a one-piece swimsuit that doesn't (A) look like I'm heading to the gym to get my water aerobics on with my fellow octogenarians, (B) have crazy mono-kini cutouts, or (C) have a price tag upwards of $200?

I will be the first to admit that I am UBER picky when it comes to picking a swimsuit, particularly a one piece. For some reason, even after having a tummy tuck, it is easier to find a bikini that looks better on me. Here are the things I don't want: a tankini - aka the Guess Who's A Mom Suit?!! I get it. I have one. I just don't like it, and I bought the one I have under duress, because it was pre-tuck. What else don't I want? Low-cut legs. I'm short, and I have short legs, so a higher cut on the boo-tay looks better on me. Unfortch, unless I want one that looks like this:

Source: zbikinis.com via Z BiKini :) Your Bikini Style Gallery ;) on Pinterest

...they seem to be few and far between. Incidentally, I do NOT want a suit that looks like that.

I also prefer a halter neckline on me, but most of those seem to have a massively plunging neckline that my boobs would pop out of immediately, as I have kids who would no doubt cling and pull said plunge asunder faster than you can say David Hasselhoff. 

I don't want a suit that looks like I'm on the swim team at my local high school either, thankuverymuch.

Finally - I would LOVE to find a tribal print that doesn't break my bank (damn you and your amazing expensive suits, Mara Hoffman!!), like this one:

Source: madewell.com via Shannan on Pinterest

Sadly, it is cost-prohibitive for this girl.

I am WELL AWARE that I am muy picky, but I have found a few suits that fit my bill. I have looked at Vicky's Secret, Threadsence, Nordstrom, Nasty Gal, Urban Outfitters, ASOS, Piperlime, Gap - hell, even Athleta, Quicksilver, and probably eleventy five more that are slipping my brain, so if you have any other sources that you'd care to share, speak now or forever hold your peas.

Source: threadsence.com via Shannan on Pinterest

Love this adorably boho halter, which is around $70. Yes, it's a bit plungey, but not quite as much as some.

Source: urbanoutfitters.com via Shannan on Pinterest

Plungey tie-dye halter? Don't mind if I do!

Source: tillys.com via Shannan on Pinterest

Meh, the skeleton print is probably too young for me, but I still love the black, white, and yellow graphic nature of it. 

And now comes the photo-realistic portion of the swimsuit competition:

Source: nastygal.com via Shannan on Pinterest

You KNOW imma go for a palm-tree/beach scene.

Source: nastygal.com via Shannan on Pinterest

Black Cat = Badass

Source: asos.com via Shannan on Pinterest

While I wish this had straps, I've been a sucker for a flamingo ever since my "I'm PRETTY sure I'm going to marry Don Johnson" days.

Source: shop.nordstrom.com via Shannan on Pinterest

Another awesome palm.

Source: shop.nordstrom.com via Shannan on Pinterest

LOVE the water-color background of this black beauty.

Source: nastygal.com via Shannan on Pinterest

...annnd a side-cutout, psychedelic suit.

Since I originally wrote this post, I found and purchased this suit online at Old Navy:

Source: oldnavy.gap.com via Shannan on Pinterest

Howevah, I haven't received it yet, so I'm reserving jeedgement until that happens. If I don't like it, I may return it and get that second palm-tree print above, cuz now it's on sale at Nordie's. THANKS CHAMPAGNE!!

Don't be stingy, ya'll. If you have some good hidden gems that you haunt for swimsuits, please share them here.

Happy Days.
Merci,
Shan

Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm....

I'd like to chat a moment about a few things that make me scratch my head. Like to hear it? Here it goes.

1. My growing fondness for Miley Cyrus. I mean. Where the hell did THAT come from? Okay, girl can actually sing. And two? I love, and I mean L-O-V-E, her new short blond hurr. How kickass is this?

Source: harpersbazaar.com via Shannan on Pinterest

Pretty kickass. Not to mention if it came down to a bitch fight between Miley and January Jones, I'd be Team Miley all the way. Of course, January Jones is on my Irrational Loathing list, so she'd lose against almost anyone. Except for Taylor Swift, who tops the list - then it'd have to be a draw.

2. Why the hell I haven't been wearing this perfume:

Source: Uploaded by user via Shannan on Pinterest

It has been sitting under my sink for literally a few years, and I pulled it out last night and put some on and remembered WHY I love it. Because it smells EXACTLY like THIS stuff that I used to wear on the reg:

Source: petpeoplesplace.com via Melissa on Pinterest

For realz. Took me straight back to the sixth grade. But back to the Demeter fragrance - it's SUCH a great, light, summer scent. The only thing I don't love is how quickly the scent dissipates on me, but it's small enough to carry and re-apply when I need a hit.

3. Why I don't listen to 38 Special more. Hold On Loosely is a kickass song. As is my entire "Somebody's Baby" Pandora station, for that matter. 

4. The Blatant Stare. Be a little more discreet, people! I went to get coffee the day I was wearing this outfit, and I don't know what it was, but some guy in the coffee shop literally craned his neck and turned to stare as I walked past him. It was weird and completely creepy. 

Oh, and if you want to piss me off in about 2 seconds? Be a woman and give me the Up and Down Stare. Ya'll know the one I mean. It comes along with an unspoken "who do you think YOU are, bitch." RAWR.

I'll tell you who - I am Def Leppard - HEAR ME ROAR.

Here's a little Miley to kick off your day. Enjoy. And while you're at it, why don't you share the things that make YOU go hmmmmm? Annnnnd GO.

Linked up here and here.




Jacket: NY&Co 
Tee: Target 
Pantalones: F21 
Shoes: Rock & Republic for Kohl's 
Necklace and Bracelets: F21 

Merci, 
Shan

I Love Lamp.

Huh. That's funny. Somewhere in the last few months I have developed a crush on this guy:

Source: style.lifegoesstrong.com via Shannan on Pinterest

Of course, it could be that he looks like THAT now, and not so much like this:

Source: biitch-tits.tumblr.com via Jenna on Pinterest

...or this:

Source: Uploaded by user via Rachel on Pinterest

Cuz what works for him? Is the silver FOX thang he has going on.

Source: public.fr via Haejin on Pinterest

See???

Source: Uploaded by user via Mixed Media Baubles on Pinterest

Source: i.imgur.com via Kashaan on Pinterest

Adorable.

Plus, this is just priceless. It's my gift to you. Happy Monday.




Dress: Target, old as the hills
Shoes: Target, on clearance as we speak
Necklace: Standard Style Boutique
Earrings: F21

Merci,
Shan

Miami Nice

There are a veritable BUTTLOAD of palm-tree prints abounding this spring, and I, for one, cannot get enough. 

How bout these Joe's Jeans Palm Print Highwaters? Melikey.

Source: cusp.com via Shannan on Pinterest

But I like these Sold jeans even mo bettah. Get 'em at Macy's. Send 'em to me. Thank ye kindly.

Source: macys.com via Shannan on Pinterest

Palm Print maxi courtesy of ASOS? Don't mind if I do.

Source: asos.com via Shannan on Pinterest

Orrrrr....if you have a lot more money than me, you can pick up the little number below from Vicky Beckham.

Source: farfetch.com via Shannan on Pinterest

Palm-tactular palm-print silk joggers, at the palm-tastic price of $483 dollars, from ASOS. I WISH H&M had on their website the palm print silky harems I tried on there last week for $14. Alas, they do not. Sads.

Source: asos.com via Shannan on Pinterest

There's always room in one's wardrobe for a palm print tee, like this French Connection version:

Source: asos.com via Shannan on Pinterest

...or this Aeropostale number (which I personally prefer):

Source: aeropostale.com via Shannan on Pinterest

or this cool neon-sleeved baseball tee:

Source: shopbop.com via Shannan on Pinterest

How 'bout some palm-print shorts? This version from Aeropostale is freaking CUTE:

Source: aeropostale.com via Shannan on Pinterest

This pair, however, looks like a bikini wax gone horribly awry. 

Source: asos.com via Shannan on Pinterest

Well, you can't win 'em all.

And just because I am in a Miami Vice mood now, why don't we listen to one of the BEST songs evah, courtesy of the Miami Vice soundtrack that I used to listen to EVERY NIGHT (courtesy of my RECORD PLAYER) before going to bed. Enjoy.



Have a palm-tastic weekend.

Merci, 
Shannan

Say A Little Prayer

Yesterday I went to the worst kind of funeral - one for a baby. Not that there is a good kind of funeral to attend, but as a parent, I imagine burying your child is the worst possible tragedy. Last week, my cousin's wife attended a routine doctor appointment at 37 weeks. Long story short, the doctor couldn't find a heartbeat, and they had to induce and deliver their sweet baby girl stillborn. Our family is heartbroken for them. Her nursery was ready, with clothes hanging in the closet and car seat waiting. Her 2-year old brother Brody asks when is Abby coming home. What do you say, as a parent, to that question? How do you survive? How do you make yourself get out of bed in the morning? I would imagine you get out of bed for sweet Brody. And you hold him in your arms and smell his little boy smell and you cry into his hair and you pray. You pray for strength and courage and your baby and your little boy and your husband and maybe, just a little peace that passes understanding. 

Please, friends, pray for my family as they - as we - struggle to understand. 

Blah,
Shannan

I Wear My Sunglasses At Night

It was going to be close to 90 degrees today, so I made an executive decision and wore shorts to work. I also made sure to pull my shirt down so as not to flash my fish white belly skin to my co-worker.

Ya'll, we have something serious to discuss. Meet me at camera three.

Sunglasses.

I am NOT the girl who pays more than, say, $20 for a pair of sunglasses (the ones below are courtesy of our nanny, who forgot them at our house yesterday). 

I just don't get spending tons of money on an item that I am going to a) lose, b) sit on, or c) lose. Thank you Scarlett, for the use of your Lolita-esque shades. Oh - can I also say I LOATHE when people call them SUNNIES????

It is like nails on a chalkboard.

And despite these photos, I am faithful to one style - the aviator. I just like them best on my face - what can I say? Picked up the ones below (Steve Madden's), courtesy of Marshall's for about $16, so HOLLA to staying under my $20 limit. I DO have to say that these aviators are WAY better than the ones from Target that I lost last week. SEE - I TOLD you I lose them!!!

Even though I am not a fan of videos on You Tube that aren't videos but are just still photos, I'm still giving you the one below because I am a HUGE fan of Lennon and Maisy, and if you haven't heard of them, look them up. They are 12 and 8 years old, and crazy bananas talented. Enjoy their version of Corey Hart's classic.


Linked here.

Shirt: Borrowed from the hubby
Shorts: The Limited (I think - they're old as the hills)
Shoes and Arrow Necklace: Target
Long Necklace: Charming Charlie's

Merci,
Shan